Memories Of My Dadi

The love that I had for my dadi was beyond limits. In fact, it was not only love but admiration & seeing her as my ideal which mattered the most to me. Her beauty & smartness enchanted me. I remember acting like her in my childhood days. Wearing a saree & spects like her, calling a rickshaw & going to buy groceries & then watching a movie in the ladies box of the movie hall was all I could imagine of copying while playing ' ghar ghar'. She was truly independent & smart at her age & her approach towards life was much ahead of time.

On June 4, 1974 she died of cancer. It was all of a sudden. She had started suffering from severe abdominal pains. Papa and I had come from Muzaffarpur to see her. She was shown to the doctor & admitted to the hospital for an immediate surgery of her gall bladder. When her stomach was opened for operating, the doctor found that she was in the last stage of intestinal cancer. I heard all these things being discussed in the house & was old enough to understand the seriousness of the matter.

I couldn't bear the shock. But at that tender age , I could realise that praying might help. Continuously, I started praying for her recovery. I still remember asking God to let my grandmother live & give her some years of my life. In my prayers, I used to start arguing with God about what wrong my dadi has done that he was punishing her. She was an ideal, always truthful & helping, which were the two best qualities according to me, at my tender age. My prayers were never answered.

Her death was such a shock that for years together I had stopped praying. I couldn't imagine how life would be without her. It so appeared , as if there was no one in the world to love me. I missed her while sleeping because I would always sleep with her, when I was in Patna. My world was empty without her. I was totally against my parents, who had taken me to Muzaffarpur ,against her as well as my wishes. They felt that I was getting spoilt staying with her right from my childhood & that I would become more disciplined if I stayed with them, away from my dadi. Many a times I would feel like running away to nowhere.

When I recovered from this shock I don't even remember but I miss her even today after becoming a dadi of two loving grand daughters. I often ponder whether Aashvi & Nishka love & admire me in the same way as I admired my dadi!!