MEETING AN ITBP JAWAN

  Mundra brought me to Barhait, so that I could take the Ranchi bus for Dumka. All I could tell Mundra was to keep well as death was an inseparable part of life. The saddest and strange thing about his father's death was that he had a liver and kidney failure though he did not have liquor. The point is that we usually see the two problems usually in the drunkards. Anyways, only the one going through the pain knows the actual pain. The bus left and I got a very silent co-passenger. He had nothing to say and so I also chose to be silent. As the bus reached Amrapata, the silent one was replaced by an ITBP jawan. When he talked about something with someone over the phone, I could make out that he was a talkative man. First, we didn't interact and observed the other passengers. Soon two young women entered along with a small child of about three. They sat beside the jawan. As the bus started again, it stopped at Guma Mod. Just outside the window was the statue of Sido Murmu and Kanhu Murmu. The curious child asked "Mummy, wo kon hai?" The mother said "Statue h beta".

 It was where the jawan spoke up," Please tell him whose statues they are!" The mother replied, "Sidhu Kany". The jawan said that it was how the chidren are to be answered. After that we started discussing. I said that the curiosity of the child is a good thing as the child learns through that. After that the jawan said that apart from answering one can also deviate the child, like showing him a flying crow, instead of answering. I asked him about his job. He was an ITBP jawan. He had two sons. One was in Class 12 and other in class 9. He said that he was in a good relationship with his wife. She stayed in Hazaribagh whereas he stayed in Alubeda, Amrapara for his duty in the coal mines. He said that has never called his wife "tum" I the 20 years of their marriage. It is always "aap" and this love and respect upholds their love and respect for each other. He has also never beaten his wife. He was of the belief that if you hit your wife once, you will never stop throughout your life. In love one needs to be forgiving and only then things are good. Physical distance cannot separate you if the inner bond is strong. In the context of his sons he is a friend to them. He expressed that his children also have hormones and so they might get involved in some mistakes. If by mistake they did the mistakes of the youth, he would tell them that they should not panic as that was their age for that. If he their guilt he would scold them, their guilt would be doubled and they might commit a suicide. He said that we also had gone through that age so we must understand.

 He told me that if I ever get married I should consider wife not as just a woman but as a mother. Indeed just like a mother the wife waits for husband at home. When he comes home, she cares as mom does. She gives food and water and massages your body. He instructed me never ever to look at wife as a object for sex and production of children. All the more he talked about how women had been confined to four walls of the house. Actually in the old times when men didn't know the science of reproduction, he always kept the woman's womb full. So, how would she go out for the outdoor activities that the men did. So their being at home was justified. She was actually never given a chance.