I Missed You Every Moment

It was Monday morning. I woke up a bit late and walked up to the dining hall after brushing my teeth. I was reluctant to go to the office as I was still in last night’s party mood. After all it was my Karan’s birthday and how can I miss any fun. Karan has been my best friend since school days and is still the reason behind my smile most of the time. To be more precise, he is the only reason behind my smile since last few years after the college ended. 

“Vishwa,” my mother called out, “your tiffin is ready. Aren’t you going to your office?” she asked in an angry tone. Like every mother she still thought that I was a school going kid and gave me instructions to finish my tiffin every day. And I, like every son, still loved being pampered by her at the age of 25. 

Handing over me a wedding card she said, “I received this card through courier this morning. It is in your name. I think one of your friends is getting married and you are invited.”  I quickly grabbed the card from her hands and before I could actually go through it, she started reciting her few favourite lines- “Why are you not getting married?” “It is getting late!” “You promised me that you will think about your marriage when you will get promotion at your work.” “Your friends are already getting married.” … I was simply listening to her all-time favourite dialogues and looking at the card simultaneously. I just smiled at her and said, “Milan is getting married. I will also get married soon.”

I rang up Karan just to confirm whether he has received the wedding invitation yet. I gave my biggest smile as even he was excited to go to Bengaluru for Milan’s wedding. Milan was our college friend, the most romantic guy of the batch and was getting married to the girl he loved. All of us just prayed that Milan gets married with his girl because the two of them just looked perfect with each other. Actually, they were made for each other. So was my love story, but things had suddenly changed. I rang up my office to inform my absence, took a sick leave- the favourite excuse of all times, and thought of hanging out with Karan. We reached our favourite food joint in an hour but somehow I couldn’t understand what to talk to him. Then Karan broke the silence.

“She will be coming Vishwa,” Karan said in a hesitant tone. I had an idea about whom he was talking still I asked him, “Who?” He replied, “Navya.” There was an abrupt silence between the two of us. No one knew where to resume the conversation from. 

Navya was my past. I had fallen in love with her on the first day of our college and our relationship had lasted for four years and as the college ended, our relationship ended too. It was an abrupt ending. After the college farewell, she rang me up at night and said, “I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore. I am sorry.” I was so shocked that I couldn’t speak further and ask her the reason behind it. It seemed that the sky was falling down into pieces. And in these years I couldn’t gather courage to talk to her again. Even Karan didn’t talk to me about her. But all our common friends were still friends with both me and Navya. However I didn’t talk about her to anyone of my friends. Her last words on the phone still echoed in my mind and pinched me every day. I was unable to understand the reason behind this.

Karan asked, “I know you still love her and have not forgotten her yet, fool someone else brother, I have seen your love for her in your eyes in these years.” I did not know what to answer so I just smiled and he understood what my smile meant. I said, “All ok from my side. Whoever is coming at the wedding I don’t care!  You will be there with me and we are going to have great fun at Milan’s wedding. The lover boy is finally getting settled and we are going to celebrate this event at Bengaluru. It will be a kind of reunion of our batchmates after a long time. The romantic man is getting married on 14^th February and we will be leaving from here on 13^th morning. Ok?” He nodded in approval but it was evident from his face that he was worried about me that how will I react when I will see Navya again.

Finally after two weeks, the day had come when we had to leave Delhi. We decided to meet directly at the airport. Like every mother my mother was giving me also bust giving me instructions- “Wear enough woollens for the journey.” “Don’t catch cold.” “Take care of yourself.” “Call me when you reach” etc. I took a taxi and left for the airport after giving a tight hug to my mother. I knew she would be missing me. To keep myself calm I thought to keep repeating to myself the purpose of my journey so that I don’t freak out when I see Navya.

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.

I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn’t know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

I started sweating. I wished to run to her, give her a hug and kiss her forehead. But I couldn’t do that. It was airport and I did not know how she will react. I wanted to spend my Valentine’s Day in Bengaluru at Milan’s wedding rather than spending it in jail for teasing a girl if Navya reacted weirdly if I approached to talk to her.

Like every occasion, Karan continued his tradition of arriving at the last moment. When we entered the flight, we came to know that I was going to sit between Karan and Navya. I started getting nervous. Karan arrived, saw Navya, shook hands with her and asked her some general greeting questions. My lips were glued and I sat expressionless. I gave her quick gazes when she was not looking in my direction. I felt harder to control myself than I thought it would be. Navya pretended like I didn’t even exist in this world and the seat next to her was vacant. It destroyed my hopes of talking to her.

Karan often whispered in my ears to talk to her but I couldn’t gather courage to do so. I wanted to hold her hand, look into her eyes, see her smile, talk to her and did everything which we used to do before four years but I couldn’t. Throughout the journey I was silent. Navya and Karan talked many times and I even noticed Navya looking at me with hopes in her eyes but I felt my throat getting dry whenever she looked at me. 

We reached Bengaluru and Milan’s brother had come to receive us at the airport. Karan wanted me to talk to Navya so he quickly took the front seat of the car and me and Navya took the backseat. I opened the door for her and she said, “Thank you” with a smile. My hopes raised and within a minute I realised that she was still in love with me but I did not want to take a risk of hastily jumping to a conclusion and then feeling ashamed on being proven wrong. I cannot afford a heart break again. In the car she broke the silence between us and asked, “What are you doing these days Vishwa?” I was so pleased on hearing my name from her mouth. I felt that my name has turned suddenly sweeter after four years. This question of hers had begun the conversation between us thought the conversation was limited. Karan was looking at me through the rare view mirror and was giving a wicked best friend type of smile and I tried to signal him to stop doing so. But friends never obey us on such occasions.

We reached the venue and we had a trio hug after years- Milan, Karan and me. Then Navya gave a hug to Milan. I was thinking, “Lucky groom, got a hug from Navya and here I am still waiting to hold her hand.”

Amidst the wedding ceremonies I and Navya became closer. We danced together with the group of our old friends and as the old memories were being remembered, I could see the love in the eyes of Navya but none of us asked each other about the breakup. I did not like Navya being referred as my ex-girlfriend. I always wanted her to be my wife.

Romantic Milan has noticed this lack of communication between us came to me and whispered in my eyes, “I will do something for you brother. Just wait and watch.” And I was wondering what was in his mind. I couldn’t ask him as he was the groom and was all the time busy in some or the other ceremonies. Still I was waiting for his plan.

As the evening came, we got ready for the wedding procession. All the boys of our group were excited for the typical Baarat Dance. When Navya came downstairs after getting ready, I kept looking at her. I was lost. She looked so beautiful in light pink saree, long black hair, open and combed sideways covering her forehead a bit. I was saying to myself, “She has turned more beautiful and is surely going to look more beautiful than the bride.” Navya saw me staring at her, gave a blush and her cheeks matched the colour of her saree. I smiled and I was doubly sure that she still loved me.

After the garlands were exchanged, Milan sang a romantic song for his bride. I was imagining me instead of Milan singing for my Navya. Then Milan gave a thank you speech and thanked his parents and in-laws for accepting his love marriage. And to everyone’s surprise he said, “All know that Vishwa and Navya love each other. Go and sort out your differences so that all of us can dance at your wedding very soon.” Before I could realise what had Milan said, Navya came to me, held my hand, took me to a corner, hugged me and started crying. I couldn’t say anything and I just hugged her tightly.

It has been four years since I touched her. My heart was at peace. Navya said sorry to me because she broke up because she had a doubt that I was cheating on her. She realised her mistake but could not gather courage to face me. I kissed Navya on her forehead, wiped her tears and walked hand in hand back to the procession. All our friends were happy to see us together again. I went on the stage and hugged Milan tightly.

Next afternoon when we took the flight back to Delhi, I kissed Navya on her hand and said “I missed you every moment dear. I will never let you go now.” And she kissed my cheek for that.