HOLI, A festival of colors to many and also a festival of fears to some!!!!

 

A Loud Scream and in tears, Titiksha wakes up and realizes it is a dream. Even with her eyes wide open, she feels the dream coming to life. Heaps of unsettling images and thoughts. Quickly jumped out of bed and it is 6 am in the morning. She looks in the mirror and gazes her room which is completely painted in white with no other colors to be observed.

 The room is bare but yet aesthetically designed that reflects Titiksha life style and approach towards life. A cozy bed to lay down after a demanding job of being a personal assistant to CEO of a famous bank in the country. Titiksha is smart and organized, ambitious and a go getter. She is reserved and has developed an art of being all alone and enjoying the solitude.

To the right side of the bed, is a small table and it has a night lamp and a clock with a small dairy. She has a sofa and a table for guests. No art pictures and just black and white sketching’s to beautify the wall. Nothing much, simple to the core. She lives in 1 bedroom house just to herself and has a modular kitchen designed with pastel colors which is very gloomy. A living room with modest furniture with small art pieces in the show case.

Suddenly, the calendar catches her attention, she stares it for a while sitting on the bed and closes her eyes deeply sunk in thoughts. After a while, she re opens her eyes to realize that she is in a safe place away from chaos. Takes a deep breath and calms herself down but still clamors outside her house continued. She goes to the kitchen picks up her favorite coffee and comes close to the window. Her hand reaches for the window door, she is very sure of what she is going to witness next. She does not want to see it but is inevitable. She knows that she needs to get past the bitter episode of her life but fails to do every year. Her hands trembling with fear, yet strong desire to conquer the fear. Volley of thoughts and she is profusely sweating. Goes to the kitchen pours the coffee into the sink and gets inside the shower room.

Comes out of the shower, decks up quickly and calls her boss.

Titiksha- “Hello Arjun, I will not be able to come to office today. I am not keeping well and would like to work from home. I will keep you posted about your appointments and meetings for the day and shall send you the details across for your projects. Hope you are okay.

Arjun “ No problem Titi. Is everything alright? You can take sick leave. Anyways we have festive celebration at office and most of my meetings would be rescheduled”

“No problem Arjun, nothing serious. I will manage sitting from home. Thank you and have a great day”.

Arjun “ Bye take care”.

Titiksha takes a sigh of relief. Quickly dials in another number and as it gets connected a voice from other end says “ Didi, sorry I am running little late, but I will quickly finish all the work before you leave and I will make your favorite oats smoothie for breakfast and it wouldn’t take much time’

“You don’t have to come today & since I am working from home I will manage for the rest of the day. See you tomorrow” and Titi hungs up the phone without giving the maid a chance to ask anything. Titi wanted to avoid a heaps of questions from her maid who is very loquacious but also affectionate. 

Quickly makes her smoothie and Takes out the laptop and starts working. Decides to attend only to the key messages. She expects a ton of messages pouring in her message box asking her whereabouts and reason for not showing up at office for festive celebrations.

All throughout the day, she feels restless & sometimes unsafe and double checks the latch of the door to make sure nobody enters the house without her knowledge. She just wants to be all by herself and wants to feel safe.

She doesn’t take phone calls from her friends nor family. She informs her new boyfriend that she would be busy the entire day attending some important international business calls. Titi wants to totally be secluded for a day. To distract her mind, she completely gets absorbed in her work that day.

Next day she wakes up with much better frame of mind. Gazes her room & opens the window door to just find the trash and litters everywhere due to the festive celebration and it seemed like a battle field on which once she fought an appalling battle that had scarred her for life. She quickly slips into the shower room, Puts on a pastel color suit, a bare minimum make up to hide some imperfections. Looks at herself in the mirror. Takes a deep sigh, picks up her bag and leaves for work.

Everybody in the office is talking about the festival celebration yesterday but Titi sat down to work pretending not to hear any of those clearly indicating she does not want to indulge in the conversation and giving an impression being hectic. It usually takes a week for her to be normal post the festival every year. Some occurrences in life are very endangering and change the psyche and approach of a person towards life forever.

She is trying hard to focus on her work without paying attention to the chatters in the office and suddenly Titi gets hit hard on her back and she gets up shattering and in deep shock.

Mili, her friend in disbelief to what she is witnessing and feeling little sorry, asks ‘ Titi are you okay, what happened. I just wanted to say Hi”.

Titi stood there with embarrassment without uttering a word. Everyone looks startled with Titi’s behavior. Mili diluted the situation with her petty jokes and eventually things got cooled off. People sat down and got back to work.

Mili holds Titi’s hands and says sorry. Titi sits down for a while without speaking anything and then they both walk into the pantry.

They grab their favorite sweet tea and sit down at a table far from the crowd to have a talk.

“What is wrong with you? You didn’t attend my calls nor replied to my texts the entire day. We were all expecting you at office. I wore a purple shade saree with jhumkas. You remember we got these from Commercial Street. They looked so good on me. We took a lot of pictures. Everyone ramp walked, ate sumptuous food. Less work and lots of merry. You missed everything”. 

Mili is a chatter box and a very dear friend of Titiksha. They are joined at the hip. They go to lunch together, gossip a lot, share their stories, go shopping and movie and over three years they have developed a good bonding. Mili can easily sense if something is not right with Titi and same thing goes the other way too.

Titi slowly sipping her tea, doesn’t say anything and grabs Mili’s phone to see pictures. After scrolling a bit, she returns the phone. Mili quickly understood that Titi is not interested in talking about yesterday nor today’s incident which happened a while ago. She doesn’t pester her. Mili has a way of getting things out from Titi.

She quickly says “I was thinking of going to a café in the evening which is recently opened in MG road. What do you say?” Mili expected a NO from Titi but to her surprise, Titi agreed. Then they talk a while about other things at office and leave for their respective desk.

Swamped with work with no time left to think about anything, Titi looked exhausted yet with a chirpy mood. The troubling memories starts to fade away slowly in the realm of work. That’s the magic and that’s her therapy.

Mili and Titi meet at the office entrance and starts walking towards the parking lot to take the bike. Riding through the busy streets, she sees all the colors spilled on the roads, used and dumped water guns, balloons, flowers scattered and even some of the dogs painted with colors. Titi felt sorry for the dog and again a series of disturbing thoughts and images swept through. Started to feel breathless. She tried to close her eyes but couldn’t.

“Mili can you ride fast? I hate the traffic and horns blazing”

“Ok madam and Mili zoomed.

They both reach at this fancy café with beautiful ambience filled with creative pencil drawings and distinctive lights handing all around. Soft melody at the back ground and a bunch of people enjoying the beverages and savories.

Mili grabs a table, again far from the bustling crowd.

What would you like to have madam? Mili asks. “Otherwise, let me go get a menu. We are first timers and I will ask if they are running any discounts or new launch offers”. And they both giggle.

Sipping on cappuccino and eating a slice of blue berry cheese cake, Mili starts the conversation at a snail’s pace. Mili didn’t want to jump on the main subject matter. Going round and round, Mili finally thought it is the right time to ask her.

Tell me, what happened darling? Trust me, you can spill it over. I am sure you will be relieved. I am seeing this pattern for 4 years. You miss this festival every year and you have an excuse all the time. If you are not comfortable, we can go to your place and talk heart to heart.

Before she could finish the sentence Titi was quick to say “Let’s not do it now. I need some time to even talk about it with someone”.

Mili “Alright, Take your time. I won’t pressurize you but just wanted to assure you that I am always there for you whenever you need me”. If you don’t want to talk to me its fine but at least talk to Dave or some one who you are comfortable with and get if off your chest”. By the way, how is things going on with Dave?

Titi just blushed and was all in smiles.

Mili “ Understood, your smile says it all”.

Titi met Dave 8 months ago. They met in a small café near Goa. Mili is the connecting bridge between Dave and Titi. Mili, her boyfriend Peter and Titi went on a vacation to Goa last July. Since Titi was lonely back then, Mili hooked up Titi with Dave who was also single and available at that time.

Mili has an unflinching personality and takes everything life has to offer and Titi is also someone similar. This explains the craziness in their bonding. Daring Mili went up to a stranger at a bar in Goa and spoke to him about Titi. Mili then convinced Titi to go talk to the person.

Titi is quite reserved and puts up a wall when it comes to relationships especially after her bad break up with a guy. But this time, they instantly hit it off and exchanged numbers soon. She felt this connection happening very organically.

Dave is a fitness enthusiast and a true gentle man. He is neat, polite and charming young man wearing his heart on his sleeves. Believes in gender equity and has a liberal mindset. Titi who is from a conservative family where she is reminded of being a girl in every walk of life with lots of impositions and restrictions, enjoyed the time with Dave where she was celebrated every second of time. They dated for a while, took one own sweet time to fathom each other. And finally love is in the air. This is how their love blossomed over past 8 months. They both want to be financially well secure before taking any big step in their life.

Time’s up!! 7:30 already exclaimed Titi. They finished the snack quickly and made a move. They were walking the busy streets of MG road which is beautifully lit up with lights, startling shopping centers and eateries with flock of people.

Titi and Mili stayed far away which is 10 kms apart both in different directions. Time to bid bye. Even before Mili could open her mouth to say good night, Titi asked Mili to come to her place and stay over for a night. Mili was surprised to hear her say that but quickly read between the lines and said “Yes, happy to stay over unless you make the dinner tonight”.

Titi “ Lets Swiggy some Pasta and garlic bread”

Mili “ And one beer”.

Titi: “Perfect”

Mili has not been to Titi’s place in 3-4 years which is quite bizarre considering how close they are. They usually meet at Mili place or outside. Whenever Mili asks Titi if she can drop by, Titi usually declines it very politely saying her house is too compact or some times says its untidy. Its always been a pretext. Mili thought its her cocoon and she is too afraid to let anyone in.

But this time, Titi invited her and that’s the reason Mili is surprised and thinks that Titi has let her guard down. So she is elated and excited to see her cocoon.

On the way, Mili is visualizing the kind of house Titi stays in. Mili thought it would be colorful, wild and vibrant that reflects Titi’s persona.

Titi opens the door and Mili is taken aback with her expression seemingly unhappy to see all the pastel and bland colors in the house. Undoubtedly it is neat but the room speaks a thousand words describing the inner pain and feelings of Titi which is unspoken. She could easily feel the gloominess it engulfed not in a deleterious way but in a sorrowful and pitiful sense. Titi has buried a lot of stories under the carpet. It is certainly her safe space she thought.

How’s the house? Titi asked

Mili quickly changes her expression and says “Its great.. Its.. its.. Wonderful. Kinda hmm aaa… (blabbers in between) its exclusive!!”. As a formality, Titi gives a home tour and Mili tries her best to pretend enjoying the dreariness of the house.

Freshen up, I will bring you change of clothes and hey…feel at home, okay? Titi says.

Weather is pleasant with a cool breeze outside, with a hint of bringing the rain down. Titi thought to herself it’s the perfect time to have a cup of homemade coffee. She starts to prepare coffee and simultaneously orders the dinner from Swiggy.

They sit in the living room slowly sipping coffee and it starts to drizzle outside. Both waiting to start a conversation.

Titi starts “Have you ever been terrified of something that everyone else is enjoying and celebrating?”

Mili “At no time!”

Have you ever lowered your head in shame for something that wasn't your fault?

Mili, now with a concerning tone replies “No” and leans forward to be more attentive.

Titi” Have you ever been plagued by nightmares?”

Mil “Sometimes”

Titi starts narrating, “I had travelled to Delhi in 2019 for a gathering that was planned for the company. I was delighted to host an event for the first time in my life and wanted it to be ideal. With God’s grace the event turned out to be a great success and I received a lot of appreciation from everyone.

Since my brother is housed at Delhi, I thought of spending some family time with them and decided to extend my stay for a week and celebrate my success with them. What is a success, after all, if it isn't acknowledged by the family?

I wanted to surprise them, so I kept my visit to Delhi under wraps. Post the event wrap up, I Stopped by a sweet stall, grabbed everything I could see and hold, shopped some clothes and took an Uber to my brother’s place”. 

“Suraj, my brother is a banker and he married Madhuri, his love of life who is also a banker. Both well-educated working professionals. They live in Model town, a posh neighborhood in Delhi with full-fledged amenities. The kids study in reputed educational institutes and blessed with luxurious life”.

The Door bell rings, Madhuri opens the door assuming its her husband but immediately loses her smile. After a brief period of uncomfortable shock, Titi gets an inorganic welcome. She scanned her from head to toe and she was certainly not happy with the way Titi was dressed. It was a black satin shirt and a formal skirt above her knee.

“I shared the pleasantries with the family, gave them sweet and presents. Kids were super delighted. Around 9 o clock my brother came back home and sweetly surprised to see me. He was very happy. We spoke for long hours about my career, relationships, politics and so on”.

Next day morning, I told my brother that I am booking flight to return back to Bangalore. Nonetheless, he insisted that I remain there for a few more days because the well-known festival is just around the corner.

Reluctantly, I said okay.

And this choice profoundly changed my life, and I regret it every single day.

The Dreadful day finally arrived. It was HOLI, the festival of colors. It is a day of love and marks the arrival of spring. Also perfect occasion to revive broken relationships through exchange of gifts and sweets. Celebrated across India and made its foray in to western world through the Indian diaspora, this festival commemorates the victory of Vishnu as Narasimha Narayana over Hiranyakashipu as per Indian mythology.

“I got up early since my brother had told me that they had plans in place for the festival and that we needed to get there quickly so that we could enjoy playing holi and eating lunch outside. The strategy was perfect”.

“I took shower and picked up a shirt and a short to wear since those are my comfy clothes to we

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ar. I paused for a minute and visualized my sister in law’s reaction. It didn’t feel right. The first day when I arrived here in formal skirt, I got a feeling that she didn’t like the way I was dressed. Despite living in the capital city, well-educated and well placed the thoughts are still regressive and far from modernity. Never mind, picked up a kurti set with dupatta and hurried to the living room. Everyone was ready with colors, balloons and pitchkaris. I was thrilled”.

We reached the location after an Half an hour ride from home. It was a huge ground with huge assembly of people. Some with family, some with friends and spouses ranging from 6 year olds to 50 year olds and also from decent people to street Romeo’s.

Everyone is painted with a rainbow of colors, shouting Holi slogans, running and chasing each other. On the right side corner there were people serving bhang and sweets. People flocked to grab them. It was a visual treat to see people rejoicing with their loved ones.

We began our round of celebration by going to a location where only families were playing. Playing with your niece and nephew was enjoyable. You start acting childlike.

I saw a bunch of youngsters playing Holi, singing songs, playing guitar and dancing. They were shouting slogans that were cool and reflected my style. After playing some time with the family, I wanted to join them. I went up to introduce myself and next moment I realize is that we have already begun splashing colors, eating sweets and all of that. Even before I could realize, I was already drenched in a pool of colors and it was absolute fun.

I was so engrossed in the moment that I was oblivious to the fast passing time. And I realized that I had lost track of my family and had drifted far off from them. I thought I would give my brother a call once I am done with the celebration”.

Suddenly, a loud noise interrupts the story. Mili jumps from the sofa when she hears the doorbell ring since she was too involved in the story to react to it.

Titi tells her “The Food is here, it is the Swiggy man”.

The narrative is cut off.

They bring in the plates, serve each other and sit down at the dining table to eat and they could see the downpour outside with lightning and thundering flashing by. 

An unpleasant silence lingers on as they quickly finish the dinner and go to sleep.

As they both lay on the bed, Mili wanted to know more about her episode of life but was hesitant to ask for.

Titi begins to narrate the remaining part of the story.

“As we were playing HOLI, a notorious gang pitched in shouting some vulgar and offensive words. Our group just started to move away as we all felt little uncomfortable”

One of the gang member called out a girl from our group and started teasing her. At first she ignored them but later it got to such a point that she had to leave. Other girls and boys also started to leave but I told them to stay back to play and disregard their comments. They were terrified a bit they were all young and I had to calm them down since it is normal in this kind of gathering. It is like a weed in the rose garden.

One of the gang member heard my comment and started annoying me with comments about my body, dress and hair. They thought I would react, instead I didn’t pay heed to any of their comments.

This angered the gang. One of the boys from the gang pulled my hand. I got really pissed off and I told him to back off. He didn’t listen to me. I turned back and I saw my group just left and I felt so betrayed and stood there helpless.

As I steered my way through the crowd, the same guy pulled my dupatta and started touching me inappropriately. I pushed him with all of my strength and he fell down.

I started moving too quickly and now I see all of the gang members surrounding me and started misbehaving with me. I tried to rescue and defend myself but couldn’t. In all of these happening, I was searching my family too.

The boys didn’t stop. They started holding me and one of them kissed me. I started screaming so loudly.

Everyone started looking at me. But to my bewilderment, no one came to help me.

I cried and begged for help. But people stood there like stones. People were cold and unaffected by what was happening.

Some started moving away from the incident trying to rescue themselves and some just stood there seeing me. There were women too.

I was dumbfounded expressing deep shock and disdain. Tears sweeping through my cheeks. One of the guys pushed me to the ground and kissed me again. I was shivering in embarrassment and powerlessness.

I have faced many battles in my life since my childhood being a girl from fighting for my right to education to right to choice and that including freeing oneself from the shackles of a conservative family. Exposed to unfair treatment and ill comparison and always put down for being a girl child. Grew up in an environment full of restrictions and in a place where a girl child is often treated as a debt. I had to go against my father wishes of getting me married. I wanted to study well and be in a progressive society with financial independence. Although it wasn't always easy, I was always successful and achieved what I desired.

However, this fight was different. I mustered up my courage. This time I stood from the ground steadily. I picked up some mud from the ground. 3 boys came in to abuse me again. This time I threw a handful of mud on their eyes. They screamed and cussed me. I hit them with whatever I found from the ground.

Even then, people just stood and stared. I quickly flew from the place. I picked up my phone, dupatta and called my brother over phone. I wasn't sure whether I could tell them about these things because I was certain of their reaction. I decided to stay silent.

The entire night, I couldn't stop thinking about the incident. The night was filled with nightmares and bad dreams. Two days passed by and still I couldn’t come out of the situation. I locked myself up, didn’t talk to anyone much. My Sister in law observed the change in my behavior.

Next day, she encountered me. I hesitated in the beginning. She kept on shooting me with lot of questions. After some point, she started to sound concerning. Since she is a women I thought she would understand and I started opening up about the incident.

I listened to my entire story without any interruptions in between. She stood up, didn’t bother to console me and went outside. I sat there baffled.

Soon after, my brother walks in and starts rebuking me.

“Titi, do you even realize that you are a Girl? You have brought shame upon the family”. You should have stayed back with us and it would have been safer but you didn’t listen to us. You went with the strangers and now look what happened”

I didn’t react anything, not cared to defend myself because it is pointless.

“I don’t know how I’m going to handle my neighbors since by this time everyone would be aware of the incident and they will have a tonne of questions for me”

My Sister in law further said “This is what happens if you let a girl loose without any controls in place” We were living a decent life here and everything is gone to drain”.

For a moment, I felt sorry for my niece to have been born in this family and to a mother who is so complacent to what happened to another fellow women. Since times immemorial, there is no greater foe a women may have than the very own women kind. She brings down, accuses, and suppresses her own kind instead of nurturing, supporting, loving and uplifting each other.

My brother notified my father over the phone of the occurrence, which further complicated the situation.

I was made to feel guilty and accused for no crime of mine. My very own family let me down and pushed me away during the time I most need them. They did not respect nor acknowledge the pain and emotions I was going through. I felt very lonely and depressed. I wanted to disconnect from people completely.

I moved to Bangalore and resumed my work. I took one more opportunity of discussing and expressing my feelings to my then boyfriend and unfortunately fate let me down once again. Even he had a same opinion as my family members. Male dominated society which only teaches women how to behave, how to dress but does not teach men to mend their ways.

Eventually I broke up with him. I started my life once again hoping that I will be able to forget the painful experience but I soon realized that I have been scarred for life and I had to travel with this horrendous incident all through my life.

My pain is not healed and is left to rot within me. No one cared about my trauma or the way I felt. I had to deal with this all alone... Hence I built up a solid shield like wall around myself to keep people away from me. I stopped expressing my pain nor feelings. Titi finishes the story with a big sigh.

With tears in her eyes, Mili hugs Titi tightly while holding her hands and remaining silent for a moment. That hug meant a lot to Titi. It gave her a world full of assurance that she is being heard and seen and understood and also that there is a soul in this entire world who didn’t judge her and her emotions were acknowledged and cared for the first time.

Mili was able to make the connection and understand why Titi never participated in the Holi celebration even after convincing Titi numerous times. She understood the reason behind the gloominess of her house. Mili says“ You are a very strong women. This phase shall pass soon and I will there to support you to heal”.

That night, Titi let go of a significant load and slept peacefully like a baby after a long time. She feels grateful and relieved. However, Mili had a difficult time falling asleep.

Next day they resume back to work.

A week passes by. Mili plans a vacation to her home town, which is a small village in kerala. Mili some how convinces Titi to accompany her. Mili says” This would be great opportunity to declutter and start life once again”

Titi has no idea of the plan Mili has in place.

They reach the hometown. It is a beautiful village with scenic beauty around and a visual treat to the eyes. The village is surrounded by mountains and green pastures a place that will etched in our memory forever. Mili and their parents own a small house in the village and she belongs to a farming family. They reach the house, freshen up. Titi wears a kurta and steps out of the room. 

Titi feels little uncomfortable with elders around especially from the village as they can be very orthodox and old-school. She is very careful with her words and actions and is very conscious.

Mili comes out from the kitchen wearing a shirt and a comfy pant. Titi is pleasantly surprised seeing her attire. Soon she sees Mili conversing with her father as though they were great friends. They all sit for the dinner.

Titi is amused to see how Mili shares bond with the parents which is very different from the one she had it. Both the families are from village but significant difference. Mali’s parents are very liberal and broad minded. They respect their daughter, love her and wants her to prosper in life. They have not clipped her wings, they let her fly high. 

“Titi wake up soon, tomorrow we are going to meet someone”. Even before Titi reacts, Mili is quick enough to say “No questions entertained”.

Next day morning, they wake up early and leave for a place to meet this unknown person.

Titi asks Mili a million times where they are headed to but her questions goes unanswered. All Mili has to say is “Wait, you will find out soon”.

They reach another small village a 2 hour drive in the auto from their place. Another breathtaking backdrop with small huts.

They reach a small commune and Titi could see a lot of people working varied jobs. Surprisingly all are women. Some are stitching, some weaving baskets, and some preparing papads and so on.

Titi “Why are we here”? Whom are we seeing?

Mili dodges the question and keeps looking for someone. A booming voice comes from behind.

Titi saw a Tall women, in her late 30’s. She is wearing a blue hand printed cotton saree with white chikankaree blouse. She looked chic and modern. Curly haired and it is let free. Decked up with silver oxidized jewellery and a unique nose pin. Minimal make up with a little tinted moisturizer and nude lip stick and kajal. She had a big bindi on her fore head. Some acne scars here and there. Beautiful eyes exhibiting a lot of confidence and passion. She looked feisty yet graceful in her approach and seemed full of life and composed. She is epitome of beauty named as Aadya.

Mili introduces Titi to Aadya.

Aadya” Hi Titi, Welcome. Please come with me. I would love to talk to you.”

Mili stays back and Titi accompanies Aadya yet very clueless of what is happening.

They go to a small room. Minimal furniture with lot of art pieces and colorful paintings. Titi is not used to this kind of a home set up. Titi was a very colorful person but due to the bitter experience on the day of Holi, she developed Chromo phobia, an intense fear of colors.

She felt very uncomfortable and wanted to leave the place as past memories of her flashed in front of her eyes.

Aadya is carefully observing Titi. She asks her to sit down and calm herself.

“Titi how are you?” Aadya asks

“I am fine” Titi responds.

Aadya paused for a moment. She places a plate full of colors in front of Titi and asks her to look at it for some time.

Titi gasping for breath, gets up and prepares to walk off from the room.

Aadya says” I won’t stop you. Free to walk away. You have two choices in your life, either to keep running from your past and burying it deep inside your heart and suffering every day or facing it royally and be resilient”. How long are you gonna stay like this. Life is beautiful Titi and I realized it very late and I don’t want you to do the same”.

Titi goes back and sits. She is trembling with fear. Aadya holds her hands and tells “I know about you, Mili told me. You don’t have talk about your past here”. I am not here to bring back your past, rather I would like to help you face it and start your life afresh”

Aadya shares her story about how is was married off to an elderly person at a very early age and how she was abused by her husband. Aadya took one decision that changed her life completely. She fought against the conservative practices and came out of the abusive marriage. She faced a lot of humiliation and faced life alone and never gave up. Later she started a self-help group for women who are victims of household abuse. Today she is the CEO of this group, successfully running the community for 8 years and a very big inspiration to many. Every women who worked in that commune had a painful story to tell.

Titi paid close attention as she told her tale. She was reassured that she is not alone in this world. Aadya continues “There are lot of women who have gone through abuse and exploitation and is still going through in every walk of life. Only thing that matters is not to shatter and crumble. In this male dominated society it is important for a women to keep her head high and never feel down trodden or less worthy”.

Titi smiles and Aadya gives her a huge hug.

We are not sure whether Titi will be ever be fully able to recover from the terrible past after the session but at least her meeting with Aadya helped her tremendously to approach life differently and to face any adversity.

Holi a festival of colors and love also turns out to be a very traumatic experience for many women and due to which many women shun Holi fearing violence and abuse. Celebration of Holi in India is often marred by incidents of molestation and harassment. Every year we hear news of women harassed in the name of the festival. This has forced many women to celebrate the festival within their neighborhoods, and only accompanied by family or friends for safety. And country with deep patriarchal roots and practices, these kind of acts are not brought to notice. And finally it boils down to the fact that it is the fault of women. People are very quick to pass judgements and criticize when it comes to women. If a women is raped or abused then it is her fault as she is wearing something very provocative. If she has an opinion then she is arrogant. She lets her hair loose, then is of loose character. We teach women to behave a certain way but never mustered the right or courage to teach men how to behave or act. Holi also denotes triumph of good over the evil. So this story reminds of the fact that women are powerful and incredible. We will continue to face these kind of challenges but never let the fear rule you. Fall down but rise up and show that even you can put up an equal fight. Let’s support, nurture and guide each other and create a place that is safe and secure for women. Let HOLI be colorful and not fearful for WOMEN.