# Love language-True love knows no league

A clichéd yet classic office tale that ended up to be one of the most iconic moments in both of our lives, turning lives upside down but in a fortunate way especially considering the contrasting lives we had lived before meeting each other.

Our worlds are poles apart. I belong to a very religious small and quiet South Indian Hindu family and he belongs to a joint fun loving and loud Bengali cum Assamese Buddhist family. I am bit reserved and risk averse but he is full of energy and adventurous. Not just in terms of personality, we both are from different cultural, religious ethnical and financial backgrounds.

As the famous saying goes opposites attract and complements each other, he fell in love with my quiet and composed nature. I was pretty sure that this would not work but was equally interested to explore the other side of world. Introspections and an immense soul searching finally compelled me to take one daring step of my life. And I finally said YES.

Initially though very unsure of where this is really taking us, we kept one step at a time understanding and exploring each other’s worlds. Bumpy roads but eventually we tried to embrace and respect differences and celebrate the commons. For instance he would prefer going to pubs and classy restaurants and indulge in guilt free spending but I would love to go to a small hotel and save some bucks. I indulge in lot a of street shopping but he is very brand conscious. He loves mostly English movies and songs while me, the only English movie I ever watched was Titanic.

May be at some point we thought we are getting into something which can either topple up our lives or it can magically work and change our lives for better.

Despite having differences, we felt a strong feeling wanting to be with each other and to grow old together. We finally informed our parents about our decision to marry each other. He met my family and set a strong impression and then I met his family. Mixed emotions with inhibitions, rehearsing millions of times how to present myself and impress. I put up a confident face yet trembling with fear inside.

The perspective of people in down south is basically the India is divided into 2 parts North and south India. North east usually is included in north or excluded totally. My father in law started the interview by asking my opinion about north eastern people. I answered confidently that my family has no bias towards any particular community or race and we treat everyone equally. My parents have no objection and all they want is to be bonded with good hearted people. My innocent yet logical answers captured the hearts.

The real test of love begins when your families meet. It seems very complicated but the couple should know the little nuances to make it work.

Since we both are from different linguistic backgrounds the only common language would be English or the other way is to translate it to our families. Easily said than done but not impossible. The pre requisite quality of good communication is to pass on the message. Perfect choice of words and grammar are secondary. Mostly incomplete sentences or short sentences with a basic context behind did all the communication. Actions speak louder than words. No compulsion from either of the parties to learn each other’s language.

Wedding took place in Assam and in a traditional house set up with small flower mantap and we hired a pandit(priest) from Bangalore who travelled all the way and our wedding took place in both south Indian Tamil style and Bengali style. Both the families equally curious, excited and participated in all the rituals without any hesitance. My brother in laws and the entire cousins surprised my parents by wearing a south Indian veshti and girls wore a silk saree and sandanam (sandal wood powder which is part of religious ceremonies among Tamilians) and made us feel like an insider.

Not just rituals, even wedding food was given utmost importance to make everyone feel inclusive. These might seem trivial but makes a big difference. All the minute details were carefully handled by both the families and made sure nobody is offended and everybody’s sentiments were respected.

No ego, no cultural clashes no impositions. No fear of conversions nor fear of catching up to each other’s pace of life. This wedding seemed so unreal and long before we realized we tied the knot. Tears of joy, contentment, sigh of relief among families.

Inter religious wed locks requires a great amount of understanding, a little compromises here and there and most importantly tolerance for each other. It was a cultural shock for both families but yet we could say that we all put efforts to make this work.

We have seen instances where Simple arguments over food has called off weddings. A wedding is supposed to be a mountain of task even within same community, but a wedding between two diverse cultures is even more tasking. But mutual love and respect can make anything possible. It requires a heart to accept, embrace a different cultural perspective. This level of bonding is rare of rarest.

With this love tale, we learnt how we humans are more important than religion, customs, and beliefs. Humans are very beautiful even with diversity and relationships can bloom and sustain despite differences. Only love makes us sane and this wedding, a tale of love promoted peace tolerance and acceptance.