Found Myself

Shanon was the most jolly person always stuck in the fantasy of her dream boy. Though he was in real by her side. As that guy was her classmate, Rohit. But she was that one girl who just hesitate to tell her feelings. She just does things like normal people do when they like someone by peeking at him from somewhere or by just randomly following him. By telling friends about him and smirk musingly. But somewhere she just loves him from within, the feeling which was only can be felt by her and which she enjoys to feel it. As the boy was the popular guy of the class, obviously the girls around her may have crush on him which made her somehow jealous and makes her sad too by feeling that she may lose him someday. Which she never want, on the other hand she is not able to tell her feelings to him too, that made her more miserable and confused about what she is doing?

There were some problems which she was dealing with, in her personal life which were just undeniable and disturbing. Her parents are always rude to her and don’t accept her because she was a girl child and her brother was the most admirable child of the family. All this things was just making her feel like now one loves her and always feel sad about what she’s been going through in her life. Though she finds her happy place in that guy by just looking at him. By watching his smile and talking to him randomly for notes, makes her feel so cheerful. Which makes all her problems flew away in the air and gives her the serenity. Though being the brightest student in the class this was something that was a side was only known by her 2 best friend, Jaggu and Rhythm. They both always supported her for what she felt about that guy and motivated her to tell him about how she feel for him. Though she try to avoid that because somewhere she was afraid of being rejected by that guy.

Suddenly, one day Rohit came with Nisha hand in hand and introduced her to the class as his girlfriend. And which made Shanon feel so heartbroken that actually she just fell apart all the pieces of her beautiful fantasy world. She wanted to tell him about how she felt but she can't as she also wanted to see him happy at that time with Nisha. All things going on around her was very unacceptable and making her feel more and more dejected. And thus finally the day came of the graduation, the day of falling apart. Everyone was happy and joyous around her enjoying the farewell party and all but she was just gazing Rohit. That also made her into tears that he was actually happy with Nisha. She even never tried any tantrums like every other people try to break things between those two. Then the time came where everyone was crying and giving speech about how was there journey with the college. After that everyone was leaving and then she just smiled and waved towards him and other classmates. And just left the room and never thought about that guy again.

Somewhere within herself she decided not to feel anything for anyone which may hinder and hurt her. And she started focusing on herself by focusing, on her career. And she got a good job and eventually achieved so much that she was also feeling contended with. Sometimes thoughts of that guy may just flashed on her with memories but that was not having that impact which was back at that time. Also sometimes while talking to old friends she gets something to know about Rohit too. Which she just prefer to listen and not react on what his life is and how he is doing. She just felt like something have been changed in her life which she was loving and also the change in herself which was making her more exuberant.

Once the reunion was planned and everyone was invited she checked the list of students, where she found that Rohit and Nisha were also invited. She was just hesitating to meet everyone, specifically watching Rohit. Then after Jaggu and Rhythm convinced her to join her for reunion. And finally, she made to reunion and seen Rohit in light grey suit and soothingly gelled and properly combed hair and that charming smile of which she was mad about. He just saw her and shakes hand firmly and she was just wondering about what to say and there only he started the conversation about what he is doing and where he is currently staying. Shanon got her senses back and answered back to which she was questioned by him. Suddenly the topic of life came, where she came to know about that Rohit and Nisha got separated after two years of graduation. And they both were dating some other person.

This was something that made her feel good somewhere and bad about why she is thinking about Rohit, now she must forgot about him. After that Rohit was talking about her American girlfriend whom he met over some dating app. That was making her feel gross. And then she tried to avoid that conversation with him and joined other people and talked and enjoyed the whole day with everyone. After reaching home, she was continuously thinking about Rohit, why she was also not knowing but she was totally engaged in his thoughts. Something struck and she opened her laptop and sent a request to Rohit in Instagram. And she was just waiting for him to accept and reply to her. After sometime the notification bell ringed and request accepted and just in excitement, she called Jaggu to tell her this news. Jaggu just tried to explain her that if she wants to just chat then that would be ok but not to think about him for romantic relationship as he is a kind of flippy guy who just flip from one girl to another as per his interests. Shanon was like “yaa, why I would feel about him.” I just wanted to talk to him as friend. 

After talking to Jaggu, Shanon messaged Rohit and they had a casual chat. Then as time passed they were just getting attached and sharing each other. They were just getting close and somewhere, Shanon was feeling more than friend for Rohit. But Rohit was in relationship with his American girlfriend. After few months some clashes happened between Rohit and his girlfriend and they both broke up. That made Rohit left alone and he was totally relying on Shanon. She was helping him to get through this tough phase of his life. And she was becoming habituated to him without talking to him for one day makes her feel sad and not good. Somewhere unknowingly or knowingly, Rohit was becoming her habit. And Rohit was also attached to her.

One day, Rohit's Ex, Nisha texted him. She was sorry for her mistake she had done and wanted to be with him again. As Rohit was also feeling for Nisha, He just talked to Shanon about her. This news made her heart broke and was just wanted to weep their but somehow she managed not to cry and tried to figure out about how she will convince Rohit to go back with Nisha. And the great shock for Shanon was Rohit was feeling for Nisha till that date. And she talked with both of them and helped them to get patched up. After that Rohit was talking less with her and they were slowly and slowly loosing their contacts. As Rohit was busy with Nisha. This was making Shanon's life more miserable as Rohit has became her habit and she was unable to get rid of that habit. Jaggu and Rhythm talked to her about all this and tried to convince her that it is not her fault, the thing is that guy is not appropriate for her. Then she just made her life back on the track where she just stopped feeling for Rohit. After that episodes what she encountered, everything had changed and she forgotten that Rohit even happened to her life.

Maybe something which changed her that is the realization about loving herself and not expecting the one who is not made for her. And that made her life and viewpoint modified and better. She was loving her life now even more, what she was doing and what she had achieved till the date. The misery of her life had just solved by achieving in her life well and not running for the one who is not known and unaware of what she feels and the one who is not made for her. This incidents also gave her the courage to tell her heart out when she feel for someone, who is well deserving. All these episodes just made her more aware of what she can do and which steps she should take when the time comes. Though all these happenings were also something that made her life's goal clear and made her focused more on herself and somewhere within oneself, she got the tranquillity.