Centre of Attraction - Just for Fun

Clouds lingered in the sky hinting at a potential rain but the Sun God took a dig at rain God by obscuring the clouds and spreading its tentacles in full glory. The streets of Marathahalli were festooned with flowers and vibrated with crackers to reflect the fervour of Diwali festival.

A board erected outside a clinic read 'Hosa Hospital', meaning new hospital. 

Karan, who obsessed over being the centre of attraction, sneaked into the hospital to see a doctor squatting a mosquito. The doctor seemed to have gotten excited the moment he saw a patient walk in. 

"Please come and sit down," he pointed at a chair. 

Karan acknowledged his words. 

"Please tell me your problem."

"Hello! I am a dirty fellow. Oh, sorry! I am a crazy fellow," Karan perplexed the doctor. 

"If you are a crazy fellow, you can eat marshmallow. Sorry, I was just joking. Can you please tell me your problem so that I can offer a panacea to your worries?" the doctor opened his mouth as a mosquito came buzzing at his teeth.

"If you eat a mosquito, then I might have to offer you medicines," Karan laughed. 

"Please do not test my patience. Please do respect my presence and tell your problem."

"Okay, let me steer the conversation back to my problem. I am suffering from sleep deprivation. Please give me sleeping pills," Karan said.

"I feel so sorry for your sleep problems. You need to stop overthinking to cure your illness. I will give you sleeping pills if you will consume."

"Please do doctor. As soon as I get sleeping pills, I will pay my bills and send chills down your spine."

"What the hell?" the doctor made a funny face before he pulled a box containing sleeping pills. 

Karan grabbed the sleeping pills and stuffed them inside the doctor's mouth before forcing him to gulp down a bottle of water. The sudden turn of events took aback the doctor. His mind sedated as he slipped into sleep. Karan carefully placed his body on a chair before drawing the curtains to cover his body so that nobody can detect his presence. A forty-year-old man, Naresh, walked into the hospital and took a seat. 

"Please tell me what is your problem," he asked.

"I have sugar."

"Please give me."

"I have sugar, doctor."

"Please give me a spoonful so that I can taste," Karan said.

"Are you a doctor or a comedian?" Naresh rose from his chair.

"Please sit down. I was in a comedy mood. Do you have a sugar container at home?" 

"Yes."

"You can offer a bowl of sugar to your neighbours so that sugar will be absent from your home and your body."

Naresh scratched his head as he couldn't understand what he was saying. 

"I was just kidding. Consume these tablets right now. I grew these in Lord Shiva's abode. They are powerful and if you consume them, then they will make you sugar free in an instant," Karan smiled. 

Naresh's eyes glowed as he looked at the sleeping pills. Suddenly, the real doctor who had been seated on the chair fell down, catching them off guard.

"Who is he? Why has he lost consciousness? Naresh asked. 

"He is in a coma by consuming gamma rays. I have given him pills prepared in Lord Krishna's garden. He will get back to senses within an hour."

"You are not a doctor but a God," Naresh bent his knees to express his gratitude as he consumed sleeping pills surrendering to sleep. Karan placed his body on a stretcher and wreathed it with flowers before stuffing cotton into his nose as if he had died. He then applied saliva to masquerade as tears before lamenting, which drew ears of a few passers-by. 

"My uncle has died. Please take him to a mortuary. They all lifted the stretcher that had no legs on their shoulders and marched towards a mortuary. The rain God took a swipe at Sun God as it steered the clouds back into the sky. It started raining. A small child picked up a stone and hurled at the stretcher. The stone sped towards Naresh and hit him on his forehead, which jolted him awake. Some of the passers-by had their heart jump to their mouths as they saw him. 

"Ghost is here, run fast," they sprinted. The ones who carried the stretcher shared apprehensive glances at each before, as a seed of doubt and fear took them over. They brought the stretcher down only to see a dead man alive. They ran away in a comic fashion. 

"Am I a ghost?" he looked at his face in his phone camera and the shock made him faint. 

Karan glanced at a convention hall where people thronged to attend a wedding event. A great chance for him to be a centre of attraction among a large crowd. He, too, strode into the hall as if he was a guest. He saw a bride and the groom performing rituals in front of a scared fire pit. Two ladies spoke to each other. 

"How are doing these days?" 

"I am doing great. How are you?"

Karan chose to interrupt their conversation. 

"She is not doing great. She is lying just for social validation. By the way, she doesn't even care how you do in life."

Both ladies glanced at each other with a pinch of shock before they retreated. A lady was singing a song with musicians playing instruments on the backdrop. Karan snatched the microphone from her before singing a song in a harsh tone that drew the attention of attendees. 

"Hello! I am a dirty fellow. Sorry! I am a crazy fellow. I love to bellow like a buffalo. I want to swallow marshmallow," he interspersed his words with a harsh tune. 

Father of the groom asked the security to kick him out. Before they could arrive to get their hands on him, he ran and pushed the groom before taking a spot next to the bride. 

"It's time to marry," he picked up a holy thread, creating a tense moment. 

The groom jumped at the spot to advert the mayhem. Karan ran away from the convention hall before the security guard could spring into action. All attendees looked like electrocuted robots stunned by the incident. The bride had tears in her eyes and the groom quickly tied her a holy thread around her neck, worrying about the cancellation of marriage. 

Heavy winds wailed across the streets of Marathahalli. Dust picked up, unable to confront the stormy wind. Karan looked disgruntled since he who couldn't find a place where he could become the centre of attraction. He seemed to be alienated from bliss. His mind seemed to work in cahoots with the fiery wind to incapacitate his heart. He grew restless, tapping his foot on the ground. He heard a voice booming on a microphone. Suddenly, his dormant mind steered back to excitement as it sensed an opportunity to be a centre of attraction. His legs got drawn in the direction where the sound emerged, taking him to a place where a man was praising a minister. Many people had congregated there as if a function was in place. Karan quickly seized the opportunity to snatch a microphone from the orator. All eyes were glued to him. 

"Ladies and Gentleman! I am here to raise his blood pressure. Oh, sorry! I am here to praise his good personality. He is a loser. Oh, sorry! He is a winner. He has spoilt many innocents in this area. Oh, sorry! He has built the life of many innocents in this area. He is a coward in this ward. Oh, sorry! He is a lord of this ward. He keeps crying every time he fails. Oh, sorry! He keeps trying to raise every time he fails. He is a dad to all the victims of our city. Oh, sorry! He is sad about the state of victims in our city. He is a naked soul of this city. Oh, sorry! He is a sacred soul of this city."

It chuffed people to bits. They cheered him to demonstrate their excitement in their own inimitable style. The minister couldn't believe his eyes. He did not understand whether Karan was here to praise him or tears him. 

"I love the sinister plot of this minister. Oh, sorry! I love the demeanour of this minister's sister. He has killed our collective hearts. Oh, sorry! He has filled out collective hearts. Our minister is a disgrace to the society. Oh, sorry! Our minister is a face of the society. I would love to slap our beloved minister. Oh, sorry! I would love to clap for our beloved minister. Our minister is so cheap in his mindset. Oh, sorry! Our minister is so deep in his mindset. Our minister is the reason ladies can't grow in our society. Oh, sorry! Our minister is the reason rowdies can't grow in our society. Our minister has raised to this rank based on his dimwit. Oh, sorry! Our minister has raised to this rank based on his merit."

The minister had enough of the nonsense being fueled upon by a stranger. He rose from his chair, clearly being disgruntled by his comedy of errors. 

"I am going to die. Oh, sorry! I am going to say goodbye," he too was affected, which made people cackle. 

"I am blessed to have been praised in a unique style. I would love to offer you a gift which you would never forget for the rest of your life. All you have to do is come behind the curtains."

Karan understood the mystery behind the cloak of his words. After racking his brains for a while, he came up with a concept of possessing himself as a deity. His body began to vibrate furiously, as if a spirit possessed him. Everyone was taken off guard as they witnessed a spectacle unfold in front of their eyes. 

"I am the Goddess of Marathahalli. I am here to bless everybody," he raised his voice to send tremors through Marathahalli. 

Everybody bent down with their hands folded to namaste as if they had a darshan of a goddess. 

"This minister is a not a minister but a gangster who is aspiring to be a monster. His modus operandi is to look cool to fool people. His face is a disgrace to the society. His horrible mindset speaks volumes about his terrible personality. He thinks I am here to bless him, but no, I am here to curse him. He has taken the word innocence for granted because he has no sense, not even a common sense. I have possessed this good man because he has earned the license to punish this wicked man," Karan jumped at the minister. 

All of them ran away from the place, fearing their safety. Even the minister's bodyguards flew away like birds, thereby making the minister vulnerable. Karan looked the place to be deserted before he took ran away before things could spiral out of control. 

Karan climbed up a metro train but couldn't find a seat to sit. He couldn't digest the fact that all passengers had been engrossed in their own work. He couldn't grapple with the silence as his mind compelled him to become the centre of attraction by drawing everyone's attention. His legs were hurting, and he was desperate to sit. A man was sitting in one of the seat reading newspaper. Karan immediately had an idea popped up in his mind. He was now desperate to execute his plan rather than exercising silence. He went and sat on a man who couldn't believe his eyes. Instinctively, he pushed him.

"Have you gone mad? Can't you see me sitting? You piece of crap," he fumed. 

Karan slowly got back to his feet as if he was a blind, which was his plan to gain sympathy from passengers. 

"Sorry, I can't see. I am a blind," he said. 

The man was now overcome with guilt as he rose from his seat before making way for Karan to sit. Karan laughed inwardly at his sheer brilliance to make a fool out of this man. After sometime, his hand slapped a passenger sitting next to him, which he did it deliberately.

"I am so sorry. Oh, God! Why did you make me blind? People are feeling uncomfortable in my presence. Please give me a place in your abode. I will find solace there," he shed crocodile tears.

"Please do not feel bad. I am perfectly alright," the fellow passenger said. 

Karan then got down from the train, utterly proud of his unique plan with which he fooled the passengers. Little did he know that someone was following him. When he turned back, the same passenger who had given him a seat glared at him as if to suck his blood like a vampire. 

"You have the audacity to fool me. You need to be given an Oscar award for demonstrating your acting prowess on the moving train. I am now emboldened to usher in a new terrible chapter in your life. I won't show you an iota of sympathy or empathy now. You used the blind trick to blind me? I have unraveled your mystery. Now, it's time for you to find your name in the history," he chased Karan, who managed to evade his eyes as he climbed onto a bus. 

Karan's mind persuaded him to attend a function where they served meals to the guests. He sat next to a kid that glared at him as if to swallow him alive. His mind exercised caution for a while, but soon found it to be boring. He couldn't miss a chance to become the cynosure. 

"You are a cynosure," he said to the kid.

"I am not a dinosaur. You are a dinosaur."

"I will sue you for being disinclined," he said.

"Please don't do susu(piss)," the kid grimaced. 

Karan picked up a sweet from its banana leaf and gobbled it up. The kid had a monstrous desire to munch on a sweet, but now it's banana leaf contained no sweet, which irked it to the core. 

"Mummy..." it started throwing a tantrum. 

"Daddy..." Karan taunted the child by making faces. 

The kid's mother raised her eyebrows as if to earn Karan to shut his mouth. Her scornful eyes disturbed him. Instantly, he placed his palm against the kid's back head and thrusted its face onto the banana leaf. The kid's visage was now a mess. To rub salts to its injury, he started licking its face. 

"Whata the helu?" the kid's mother didn't know to pronounce the words correctly only to become a comedy piece. But others had noticed Karan troubling the kid, so they stood against him. 

"Who in the hell are you? I have never seen you anywhere. What business do you have with that kid? Are you his father?" someone asked. 

The kid's mother started crying like a cartoon character before leaving a burp. "He is not my husband. Please break his hand."

The kid that was crying till now started laughing, looking at its mother. Karan understood the gravity of the situation and quickly turned himself into a possessed deity to scare people. His body started to vibrate with colossal force. He started to gobble up the food in large quantity. 

"I am the Goddess of Marathahalli. I am extremely disappointed by the way you are conducting yourselves in front of an innocent man. This is not an ordinary kid, but a urinary kid. This lady is not innocent but indecent. Both of them are being operated upon by a ghost. You will rest in peace if you break her peace. So, go ahead and kick these two out of this function hall," Karan drank a pot full of sambar and spewed it across the kid's face.

All of them who had folded their hands into namaste changed their collective looks. 

"You are a great actor," they said in unison. 

"Hello! I am a dirty fellow. Oh, sorry! I am a crazy fellow. Please excuse me."

Then they chased him away from the marriage hall.