Be Yourself

A sunny evening sputtered to life. The lush green trees swayed to the tunes of the wind, rendering a hospitable atmosphere inside the park. People from all walks of life thronged to drink in the beauty of nature. They breached the silence and filled the air with incessant talks. The chirping birds joined the evening symphony. Siri gazed at the blue sky, lost in her solitary musings. It seemed like an inner monologue had sparked to life, which automatically brought a smile to her face. She had no problem with solitude since she had been an introvert by nature. She fancied observing the beauty of nature. But she always thought there was something wrong with her nature. While she observed others being talkative and outgoing, she thought that was needed to thrive in this world. Even her parents felt there was something wrong with her since she chose silence over small talk. As long as you do not feel comfortable in your own skin, life becomes painful. Siri had been confined in this unknown territory where she did not know how to use her innate skills to move forward in life. She felt comfortable being alone, but felt that was wrong in this extroverted society. She did not feel like going to college. Neither did she like going home. People drained her. Only a handful of people understood her, so she felt comfortable talking to them. 

As soon as Siri strode into her house, she stumbled upon her garrulous relatives who did not know the art of silence. Siri broke into an awkward smile. 

"Will your daughter at least talk today? I am fed up with seeing her stay silent all the time."

Siri couldn't utter a single word as she zipped her lips. 

"She will talk today. She cannot always choose to be silent," her mother said. 

Siri felt very uncomfortable as she was forced to get indulged in small talks she despised. She saw all of them talking non stop without even leaving a gap, thereby showcasing their communication skills. Siri felt ashamed of herself. Whenever she tried to make an effort to speak, she felt like she was faking it, which made the situation even worse. 

"We have been talking for a long time now, but your daughter hasn't opened her mouth. What is wrong with her? If this continues, she will certainly have a pathetic future. You got to speak to make your presence felt. If not, you will land in trouble," again her relatives made her uncomfortable. 

"I am speaking. I love the way you talk," she feigned appreciating them.

"Is that enough? You got to speak more. Tomorrow, you need to talk to people or else nobody will give you a job or marry you."

"Did you listen to what she said? You got to talk. You got to fight to be the centre of attraction," her mother too pestered her.

Siri felt terribly alone with this talkative group. Somehow she managed to smile and speak a few words in between to ensure they wouldn't give her lecture again. She felt relieved as soon as the silence took control as her relatives left the house.

Siri went to her room mentally drained, desperate to catch up with solitude to recharge her emotional batteries. She wondered how could she live a life like this in the future. 

The early morning sunrays flowed through the window into Siri's room as she opened her eyes. She squinted before waking up. She observed a cobweb that adorned the white wall. Siri looked excited as she picked up her mobile phone and took a photo in a creative way. She packed her bags and left the home to catch a bus to go to college. She hopped onto a bus and held onto a handle bar peering through the window. Her inner monologues spurred back to life as she enjoyed indulging in it in an amicable manner. She did not realise how to the time flew by as she reached her college. She had only one friend with whom she felt comfortable and shared a good rapport. Her name was Srushti. She went and sat next to Srushti, who gave a beaming smile and the former reciprocated the same. Others who did not deduce her personality had an eye on her, since she seemed different compared to the rest of the pack. At the interval time, Srushti went to her home since it was nearby, so Siri ate alone. Some of her classmates picked on her. 

Their conversation went as follows:

"Do you know there is a celebrity in our class?"

"Is it? Who is that?" 

"She doesn't speak to anybody except one."

"Oh, why is that so?"

"She is a celebrity, after all. Why would she speak to everyone? When you are a celebrity, it is imperative to maintain certain standards or else you will look cheap."

"Is that celebrity very arrogant?"

"Yes, of course. She is a mother of arrogance. She has an inflated attitude problem which never subsides. She thinks she is the best in the world and others are minnows in her eyes."

"How standoffish?" 

"She thinks there is no one better than her in looks and studies."

"Where is she now?" 

"I don't know. She can't even speak properly, but has too much attitude."

"Why should we waste our time talking about such idiots? If they think they are damn good, so be it. Why should we worry about them?" 

"Yes, you are damn true. I am not an attention seeker, unlike her."

Siri had no choice but to tune into their conversation since she was eating at the very back table. She felt uncomfortable and did not enjoy the taste of the food as it got mixed with the poison of their words. They had totally misunderstood her. To add to her woes, they called her arrogant, which she was not. She had no courage to justify about her personality. Her eyes welled up, but somehow she continued to gobble up the food so that she could retreat from the hostile atmosphere. Her classmates continued to taunt and laugh, as if to take a dig at her indirectly. Her mind was silently at loggerheads with them before she left the spot without looking back. 

"Did you see that attitude? Doesn't even look at us?"

"Why would she even look at us? She is a celebrity here?" 

Siri felt anguish coarsing through her spine as she went to her classroom sitting alone, hoping for her friend to come. Her mind seemed to be gripped by the humiliation she underwent some time back. She felt a sigh of relief as soon as she found her friend approaching her. She went and gave her a warm hug, not disclosing what happened in the pantry area.

Siri did not feel like going to college after how her classmates behaved with her in the morning. She saw a few fireflies buzzing outside the window in a magnificent display against the backdrop of a night sky. Siri's face lit up as she picked up a camera and took a snap of the nature's marvel. She had a knack for taking creative photos, which she loved doing daily. It also further fueled her desire to be a photographer. She loved clicking the photos of mother nature in her own inimitable style, which not only bolstered her morale but also brought abundant peace. Unfortunately, her happy mood got neutralized the moment her mother urged her to go to a function the next day. She knew she would be made fun of for being silent and also was aware of the advice that would be hurled at her to socialize. She couldn't deny her mother and she slept disappointed, worrying about tomorrow.

Half heartedly Siri went to her relative's party along with her mother. She could see people going bonkers as if they did not know how to enjoy even an iota of silence. They kept on talking without a break. Siri wondered how she could fit in with this people. How could she talk like them, which she felt was very much needed as she grew in the society? There was nobody to tell her it was perfectly alright to embrace her silent personality, which in itself will open doors for many jobs where you do not have to be a chatterbox to thrive. 

"Oh, Siri! A silent girl is here. See my daughter. They are so talkative and lively in nature. You got to be like them. Do not sit silently. Go and talk to them. Mingle with people and you will also become a chatterbox. You are not a child anymore."

Siri knew an advice would hit her like a bullet. Her relative's daughters looked at Siri as if she was an alien who had escaped from Mars. Siri gave a smile at them. 

"Oh, you are giving a smile. I didn't know that you could even smile. Do you know to talk?" 

Siri awkwardly nodded her head. 

"Do not behave like a child. You are grown up now. Tomorrow, you will get married to someone. You need to know how to impress guys."

Siri remained mum. 

They looked at a guy passing by them, which made them adjust their dress to catch his attention. He gave a lustful silence, and they reciprocated. 

"Did you see what we did now? This is how you catch the attention of boys. They fall for girls who are talkative. If you are silent and moody, nobody will show interest in you. You can also smile at boys. It will be very fun, you know."

Siri felt very uncomfortable amidst their show off drama. It wasn't her nature to attract guys. She felt miserable being at the party and she couldn't even speak against them since they would call her weirdo. She thought maybe that's how a girl is supposed to live in the society. To add to her woes, she observed them deliberately pushing some guys and winning an opportunity to date with them. She felt being incongruous. Her mind kept on reprimanding her for being with girls whose only motto was to attract guys. Eventually, she joined her mother to have lunch, which brought her much needed respite from the chaos that was forming around. She prayed for the party to get over soon so that she could go home and toy with her camera. 

"How was your day, Siri? Did you learn something from my daughter's? You got to be like them to thrive in this talkative world."

Siri feigned a smile before leaving the party. 

The next morning arrived in a jiffy coercing Siri to join her classmates in the college. She found comfortable in Srushti's presence as she ventures into a library. She happened to stumble upon a book named, "Be who you are". 

She sat on a nearby chair and went on a reading spree. Her eyes hovered over the words of the book as her mind deducted the meaning of it. She felt very positive and got hooked on it as she went on reading the book. All the myths surrounding the society got debunked at the drop of a hat. She couldn't believe her ears as she felt a positive energy surging through her. She always felt there was something terribly wrong with her, but this book changed her notion. There was nothing wrong with her and it was perfectly alright to the way she existed. She had tears when she read a Bhagvadgeeta quote from the book which stated, "It is better to live your own life imperfectly than to live somebody else's life perfectly." 

She had always tried to be someone that she was not and every time she ended up feeling more miserable and helpless. This book seemed to have embraced her at the right time to serve as an eye opener. For the first time, she felt comfortable in her own skin and embraced her personality. All forcible advice tossed at her seemed frivolous now. 

Siri channelized her energy into her photography skills. She did not bother about becoming garrulous, neither did she try to go against her nature to grab someone else's attention. She stuck to her natural strengths that in itself allowed her to thrive. Siri, through her natural skills, went on to become a photographer. She felt proud of her silent personality, which was an amalgamation of maturity and creativity. She never allowed any negative thoughts to have a say in her life. You do not have to be like someone to thrive in the world. You just need to stick to your natural personality, which will not only allow you to have peace but will churn out conducive atmosphere for you to thrive.