Being Someone's Teenage Love

Dear Heart ,

Remembering my teenage...many memories start flashing in front of my eyes. As we grow up, from childhood to teenage to adult we see many people around us. And....in the new, vibrant years of our adolescence as we see new people...everything starts seeming beautiful around us. These are the times when we have innocent hearts, waiting to love and fall for anyone. 

While growing from teenage to adult, I found many guys falling for me. During those times, I used to enjoy the "queen like treatment" I used to get from guys who fell for me. While.. being an adult of 21...many guys still fall for me.. but, in adulthood... I find many people falling for you and liking you to fulfill their own loneliness or their own selfish reasons. No one is genuinely interested in loving you. Now, coming to adulthood... I now understand the genuinety and the purity those teenage love used to hold. Most of them didn't have much expectations from me in return of their love, unlike adulthood, where love always comes with expectation. 

Although many people fell for me.... I didn't fell for them. So, most of their feelings got unnoticed to me.I never fell for the guys who fell for me....but , I fell for a guy.. who didn't fell for me.

And now... as I have matured and as I understand things better... I now understand that we tend to give more value to people for whom we fall, than to people who fell for us. I always used to give more value to the guy for whom I fell... I never gave that much attention or love to any guy who fell for me. It's because we always place more value to people whom we love because we want them. But, sometimes we forget about the people who are already there or who genuinely cared for us in the process of chasing someone whom we want. 

Remembering about my teenage days, I remember.. when I was about 11 or 12 .. there was a guy who fell for me. I was too young then, and didn't have much idea about love at that time. While we were good friends at that time and used to discuss answers of math problems together because in class.. our seating arrangement was such that.. we had our seats close to each other... so, we used to discuss answers. It was a new class then with many new students who just became friends. And similarly, since our seats were close and we discussed answers and classes.. he used to seem like a good friend to me. Then, one day... while... we were all playing word game in our class... he got a letter which was the initial letter of my name. So, he told my name.. instead of telling any word with that letter. And, as soon as he spoke my name... the whole class started clapping.. everyone thinking that he has feelings for me. I was too young then, and I didn't understand these things much... I felt awkward... but also enjoyed the idea that someone fell for me. Later, I used to notice him... helping me out... in little things.. like telling me the page number of the book , helping me with a scale when he saw me trying to draw lines in free hand, calling people for me when they failed to hear my voice, teasing me and all those innocent things. This continued for a few months. Although he never confessed anything to me about his feelings, but his actions used to speak a lot about his heart. And, then... one day the teacher changed our seating arrangement. And as days passed, we eventually forgot these things. Even though we studied in the same section for almost 7 more years after that, and as he was my classmate and friend, I had to talk to him.. when I needed help or when there was a project or something... but we never spoke about these things. Neither did he ask me anything nor did I ask. 

10 years passed after this incident...in between we passed school and came to college. Currently, I am in 3rd year of my college. He is in another college in another city. We are still good friends. He still helps me out whenever I ask him for help. In between things changed a lot... my perspective towards life changed a lot. I understood life, I understood people. After getting my heart broken and played by a guy for whom I fell, I almost have no hopes left on love although many guys still fall for me. And, this guy... he is still my friend. Although I don't question him about how he used to feel for me, nor do I question him about if he will still remain friends with me in future. But, now, as I see most people loving another person only for their selfish reasons... I now appreciate the innocence and genuinety with which he used to do things for me without expecting anything in return. Getting to experience that type of innocent genuine teenage love from a guy is very rare. And, now, being an adult of 21, I understand the value of the purity of those feelings although I got to experience it just for a few months. Although, I never saw him as more than a classmate and friend, but still, looking back today... I think it's a blessing to to get to experience that kind of innocent , unconditional and young teenage love from someone because not everyone gets to experience it. Although, even in adulthood, many people still love and fall for you... but still it never holds that much of innocence and purity as much a teenage love holds. Adult love always comes with some kind of expectations... it isn't as unconditional and pure as a teenage love. And, today, looking back... I feel blessed for being someone's teenage crush and love... although his feelings for me lasted for only a few months... but still getting to experience it.. even for a few months... was nothing more than a blessing to me!!!!!