The Coward

The year 2006

It’s been two years since Mahesh completed his engineering at a reputed college. 

Mahesh, the first-degree holder from their family. He was the last hope, of the family when his father fell into an affair, and left the family in dying streets of responsibility with bags of responsibility he started his expedition.

Mahesh, an introvert by nature, all of his credibility and skills got outweighed by it.

He attended numerous interviews, from machine operator, technicians to software engineer. At times he was overqualified and other times he was adjudged not fit.

Several family members were capable of helping him and did so, but offering free advice, as they have nothing to get back by favoring him.

Mahesh worked for an IT hardware servicing center, for the sake of a job certificate. Later he came to know, that the testimony was of no use as he gets termed as On Job Trainee.

With hopes diminishing Mahesh stopped attending interviews but realizing the situation at home, he decided to take up a data entry job.

But his dedication and bit of boldness outweighed the situations, one day finally he got into a leading software firm.

 

They asked him to report to their Mysore campus, for four months of training in Java.

Among a lot of difficulties, he saved money by walking and skipping lunch he brought the clothes and shoes with the mediocre savings of his previous job.

 The Mysore campus was a wonderful land.

There were people, of his age.

The employees were provided with luxurious life at nominal cost.

Everything was available within the campus for 24*7

The Retail Shop, 

The recreation club, 

The laundry, 

the Tennis court, 

Swimming Pool, 

A Global education center with an international caliber.

He was part of a class of 500 students a

accelerated group.

After the initial HR validations, he was asked to report to the general stream followed by the technical stream.

Mahesh being an introvert avoids interactions. Soon he realized, he should be part of the rat race, and he pushed himself.

He attempted and succeeded in making few friends, in the general stream, as he was concentrating on the soft skills.

As fortune favors the brave, he did improved but was life put him in a worse situation, by putting him next to a girl to make things worse.

 

Mahesh: Hi, I am Rajesh from Chennai.

Girl: HI, I am Swathi from Vadodara.

Mahesh: So, is it your first job, are you from a computer background.

Swathi: Yes, I am from electronics, I was trying for a job for a year, did VLSI course nothing worked finally got an opportunity here.

Mahesh: Ok, good to know. I have worked in several companies.

Swathi: Oh, ok then why you quit then?

The faculty came in, and their small talk came to an abrupt end.

The session started and we focussed on the class.

 

Monika: Swathi, " Aaj Raat campus Mei Disco party hai, Tu aayegi naa."

Swathi: "Ha Ha challenge."

The entire room was filled with Mumbai Indians and Pune warriors. With Mahesh being sparse of south Indian. 

With Hindi being spread, English became formal.

Swathi was a studious, innocent girl. At times it is challenging to sit beside her, due to her strong fragrance, she was one of Charlie's angels.

She did have a separate fragrance in the entire class.

The entire class of boys was trying to impress her.

Once she lost her mobile, she got panicked she was helpless and was moving around, in search of Nokia silver.

Sashi the Romeo of the class, gave it to her and said he found it in the lobby and stroked a conversation.

Sashi has indeed, had a good appearance and he was from a wealthy family, for him, a job was a time pass.

Swathi thanked him and did small talk with him, but soon all his tricks loosed the charm as the innocent girl failed to notice the effort.

Mahesh for no reason felt angry, for the entire day, he avoided Swathi.

Swati kept peeping at his system. 

"Arey break lay loo Itna Kam math Karna!"

Mahesh: Ya, I'll take a break after some time, thanks for your concern.

Swathi smiled and left.

Not sure why some guys were jealous of Mahesh, he doesn’t even strike a conversation with Swathi. If at all discussion happened with her, it was on the subject.

People were making fun of Mahesh, that he is a go-getter, first, the Job confirmation, second the CGPA, and the third Swathi, at times he fought with his friends as well, saying nothing more than a friendship between us.

Mahesh was a believer in self-learning, and he helped his friends in understanding the language time passed the training was hectic; they slogged day and night and did the projects as well during the first quarter. 

It was an unusual relationship between Swathi and Mahesh. 

The only time they meet was in the class. 

No Phone, No Chat, and No meeting outside the class as well.

Whenever Mahesh tops Swathi jumps and celebrates with happiness, and she says, to her friend, how helpful I was for her as a mentor.

Swathi: "Mai bhi score kiya is baar, Mahesh ki padai ki vajay sei!".

Whereas others enjoy celebrating their success, without giving a token of appreciation to him.

During slogging days she asks Mahesh to accompany her to the ladies building,

Some chit-chats and career planning happens during their stroll to the building.

Then a bye with waving hands.

Everything was fine in their friendship. 

A number of his friends asked Mahesh to introduce him to her as a friend, though he knows that they wanted to do a time pass with her, for some reason he was guarding her but not possessive.

Finally, the four months got completed, Mahesh attained a rank in a class of 500 students, photos and the farewell party got celebrated. Mahesh for some reason avoided Swathi, but Swathi, probably was too innocent, that she couldn't realize the reason.

Swathi: Arey, Photo mein Kaha hai tu! Dikh Nahi Raha.

The other boys stood behind her.

He stood far from her both in the photo and in reality.

He pointed out that, He stood here.

He got lost in the crowd.

Everyone got the job posting, Swathi got Pune and Mahesh in Mangalore.

They departed, without saying a bye, hoping to meet again.

After a month, Swathi pinged Mahesh.

Swathi: Hi how are you,

I got into the banking Sector, how about you?

Mahesh: I am doing well Swathi, I am into the Energy sector.

Some chit chat happened then

Swathi: Hey, I miss you!

Mahesh was not sure what she meant.

As we know at times boys are stupid, especially when a girl encrypts a message.

He just typed

Mahesh: Don’t worry yaar, you will get a friend who helps you with difficulties, you are a good learner.

Swathi: Thank you Mahesh nice chatting with you.

Then after a few years, they chatted on Facebook and communicator once in a while. Mahesh never failed in wishing her on her birthday.

 

Mahesh was not sure what was between them and didn’t care to know about it as well as he was overwhelmed with responsibilities.

He did have a soft corner to Swathi as well when he came to know she lost her parents. With time and distance, they lost the sense of attention.

Mahesh did his duties as a brother and father to his sister.

 

The Year 2016

He was getting settled with his mother as she started looking for a suitable bride, but Mahesh was strict on not getting married, he said he is not interested, in marriage and wanted to live, life for him in the remaining days.

After few years, his mother also left him.

Mahesh has succeeded in his professional life.

But what was less known, is unknowing, he fell for Swathi. His inferiority complex and his responsibilities made him dumb, but when he wanted to confess his feelings, it was too late Swathi got married and got settled abroad.

Mahesh has taken up a job as NGO and has been working for the welfare of children, though he doesn't make much money, he is happy while spending time with those innocents.

Mahesh is happy for Swathi, though they don’t talk to each other as they used to do.

Swathi may not remember him, But for Mahesh, she was his first and last love.

It is a choice of responsibility and love affair.

It may look stupid, that Mahesh didn't convey his feelings for Swathi, probably his inferiority made him feel more insecure and made him feel she deserved a better person.

Some may feel, Mahesh is a coward, probably he became a coward, 

for the sake of his family.

He was unsure of the future and gave up, as he doesn't want to hurt her with false promises.

Love does give immense power and courage, but in front of responsibilities, it just gets defeated.

Not all love needs to end in a beautiful relationship some just ends in unreplaceable memory.

There is nothing called courage or cowardliness in love, for breadwinners.

It’s the victory of Selfless over Selfish Love.