Amma - Mother

Remembering you today, I feel that you're my inspiration for writing. I've loved you as any child would love her/ his mother. But I've hated you too in my teenage which proves that you were a successful mother. Remember the saying that you're not a successful mother unless you child has hated you at least once.' So I've hated you not once or twice but multiple times.

When you didn't allow me to dress in the manner I wanted and I couldn't do anything about it , It was like 'why she has to interfere here? '

I wanted to stay at a friend's place & the question from you, how many brothers and sisters are there? ' I knew fully well that it implied brothers( that too elder brothers) & I used to be outrageous with myself sulking what wrong have I done to get a mother like this?

The film 'Bobby' was released & I was excited to go & watch that movie with bua but there your command, 'No, watch any other good movie but not this one' made me bang my head on the wall.

I was on the top of the guava tree in our backyard feeling on the top of the world as none of my friends could attempt climbing a tree & there I could hear you shouting, 'Do you want to break your legs before getting married? ' I still recollect thinking why my mother could never appreciate anything that I do? '

Most of the time I wanted to stay with my grandma when you were busy pursuing your medical studies in the hostel. You would ask me to come & stay with you in your hostel & I would bluntly refuse. Little did I realse how you felt leaving me with grandma for months together.

Many a times I used to pen down my feelings against you in my diary during those days & that's how I started writing. Do you remember that once that diary went in papa's hands & how traumatic it was!!

These are not the only ones there are many, many more which I feel like compiling. But now that I'm 57 years old, I fully & fondly understand why you did all these things. I ponder and realise that only a mother can bother for her child to such an extent that her own child starts hating her. And Amma now I remember those words often spoken by you after our heated arguments, 'Guddan, you will find that your mother was always correct while handling you when you yourself will become a mother!! ' And I end my story saying the most simple words 'I love you & have always loved you Amma!'