All On His Own?

I am in 12th standard, undoubtedly the most challenging academic year that an Indian student has to battle. The overwhelming pressure to do well in both schoolwork and entrance exams is nerve-wracking, to say the least. So, it was only logical that I, as is expected of a dutiful student ;), avoid any trips that last more than a day in a place without Wi-Fi. So that naturally ruled out my annual trips to my hometown in Kerala.

However, my family shouldn't bear the brunt of my penance. So, it was decided that my mother and brother would go for 2 weeks in March, just in time for our ancestral temple's ulsavam (a 10-day long festival). My father would go in May. 

This arrangement meant that my father and I were on our own for two weeks. No big deal, right? Apparently not, according to various people I met in the span of those two weeks. I was bombarded with the same question again and again- "Oho! Two weeks all on your own with your father? Will he be able to manage? Can he cook and all?" 

It started the day my mother left. After seeing her and my brother off at the station, we went to a lunch party. I was peacefully stuffing my face with chicken and fried rice, minding my own business when I met some friends of ours. They were soon shocked to find that a 46-year-old man was capable of cooking and maintaining a house for two weeks without his wife. Though I found the reactions amusing the first couple of times it started to get irritating.

My mother has spent several weeks all alone without facing any concerns or questions about her cooking skills. This shows the deep-rooted skewed mindset of typical Indians. The fact that I had to assure several people that my father was a competent parent in a metropolitan city like Mumbai in 2023 is nothing short of shameful. Why is it that we can't hold men and women to the same standards? 

Women's image as multitaskers and individuals who sacrifice their happiness for those of others has been glorified for years. We all have probably come across a picture where a woman is shown as a goddess with several arms holding an assortment of items like- brooms, dishes, and office files, which is supposed to show how the modern woman balances both the household and the working environment. The truth is that all women are held to that divine standard- perfectly capable of handling all her tasks to perfection. Anything short of that and she is a failure. Our society takes advantage of this unachievable version of a "modern woman" and takes the sacrifices that women make for granted. It is considered perfectly normal for a woman to completely abandon her career for her family. A man doing it is considered nothing but absurd. It is inconceivable for most people. Women who prioritize their careers are vilified, punished and mocked. A man doing so is applauded and rewarded. 

When are we as a society going to achieve gender equality in our day-to-day life? How long will women bear the brunt of an outdated and sexist mindset?