A posthumous tribute

The Senate Hall of the University was decked in all its pristine glory. The hall was full with guests, faculty members and students, all in anticipation of the grand event. The murmur of the hall went into a silence with the entry of the convocation parade comprising the members of the Academic and Executive Council of the University inside the hall. The fifty-first convocation of the University started with the rendition of the University song followed by the opening address by the Chief Guest.

In the third row, along with the other prospective medal winners, sat Jyoti Pandey who intently followed the proceedings and was waiting for the moment when medals would be distributed. Jyoti was shortlisted for the Chancellor’s medal, the most coveted prize of the convocation.

The convocation ceremony moved at snail’s pace; there were series of protocol events and unending speeches before the actual ceremony of prize distribution started. There were different medals for toppers at each level and also prizes for excellence in sports and extracurricular activities. It was towards the end of the award ceremony that the Master of Ceremonies announced the names of the short-listed students for the award of the Chancellor’s medal for the best student of the University. The shortlisted students were asked to stand at their place. The person making the announcement took a pause, the audience waited with bated breath, finally the name was announced: Jyoti Pandey from English Department.

All eyes were on Jyoti while she walked on to the stage to receive her medal and the degree from the Chief Guest. The Vice Chancellor and the other dignitaries stood in attendance. The Vice Chancellor congratulated Jyoti and in a soft voice, which did not reach the microphone, asked Jyoti to meet him in his office the next day.

Jyoti met the Vice Chancellor the next day in his office and was surprised by his simple and inviting nature. The Vice Chancellor congratulated Jyoti and told her that she may join the English Department as Lecturer on an ad-hoc basis from the next working day. Jyoti had not expected such a reward but she had no option to doubt what her ears were listening since it was coming from the horse’s mouth. Jyoti looked forward to joining her Lectureship the next day in the English department.

At twenty-two years, Jyoti was the youngest faculty member in the English Department. In pink saree, as Jyoti walked the distance of hundred yards from the University gate to the English department, she epitomized an image of beauty in modesty. The glow on her face very eloquently reflected her achievement of getting the Chancellor’s medal.  The fact that she was now a faculty member accentuated her beauty. With the head a bit bowed, taking care of her sari, she walked silently in measured steps towards the English Department.

While Jyoti’s adrenal gland was in active mode, secreting adrenaline, which made her heart beat a little faster as she entered the English department, a few building blocks away in the Urdu department some students were also experiencing adrenal bouts in anticipation of the announcement of their first year post graduate results. Among this group the only student showing no sign of anxiety was Ahmad Shahzad. He was very calm; in his mind he was sure that it would be a miracle if he passed the examination. With the inevitability of his result almost a certainty, Ahmad felt amused to see the anxiety on the faces of his classmates. The results were announced and to the utmost astonishment of Ahmad, his name found mention in the list of successful candidates. While others in the class expressed their happiness in saner ways, Ahmad fished out a cigarette and lit it in the class itself, sending exhaled smoke in rings. And thus started another academic session.

The news of a very beautiful young lecturer joining the English department became a favourite topic of gossip amongst the non-academically minded University students of which Ahmad was a forerunner. At the first opportunity Ahmad made an effort to loiter at the University gate just to see the new English lecturer. Within a couple of days Ahmad was successful. As Jyoti walked towards the English Department, Ahmad followed her albeit a few steps behind.

By his antics, Ahmad was well known in University student groups and, on his part, he never shied doing things which others would consider inappropriate. It was a Monday morning and Ahmad came to the University with a bag full of rose petals which he had picked from a florist. Ahmad waited till he saw Jyoti alight from a rickshaw and enter the university gate. Ahmad positioned himself in front of Jyoti and walked backwards throwing rose petals in the path of Jyoti. Jyoti felt embarrassed, she blushed but walked straight to English department. Ahmad didn’t follow Jyoti and maintained a safe distance before silently melting into the crowd of students.

The next day again Ahmad landed in Jyoti’s path with rose petals. Scattering petals in Jyoti’s path, Ahmad walked alongside Jyoti for some distance before melting into the crowd. This ritual of Ahmad walking alongside Jyoti continued for several days before it came to the knowledge of the University proctor. Jyoti made a complaint with the Chief Proctor and in a few days, the Chief Proctor caught Ahmad in his morning antic and the same day suspended him. A copy of the suspension order, mentioning that Mr. Ahmad Shahzad of M. A. Urdu has been suspended for three months, was sent to Ms. Jyoti Pandey.

Ahmad’s suspension lasted three months, the day his suspension ended, he stood at the University gate and waited for Jyoti. Although he did not come with flowers but somehow found his way in front of Jyoti for a moment. Jyoti felt uncomfortable but for some strange reason felt amused. At that very moment she looked up and suddenly her eyes locked into Ahmad’s line of sight. A thin smile crossed her face.  After three months of serving as Lecturer, Jyoti was now accustomed to living in student’s glare. Thus, when she saw Ahmad, she didn’t feel frightened, in fact she found a certain amount of amusement in Ahmad’s sustained interest.

Jyoti Pandey’s academic and professional achievements soon became the talk of the town. Everyday her parents received matrimonial requests from respected families for their sons. Thus, it was not a surprise when her parents fixed her marriage to a boy who was an investment banker in an international bank. Things moved fast, Jyoti got married and moved to another city after resigning from her ad-hoc teaching position at the University.  The University is a big institution and the process of faculty members leaving jobs is not a big deal. Nothing changed in the University but Ahmad did feel a loss. He could not keep his rendezvous with Jyoti at the University gate. Time dilutes memories and soon Ahmad forgot his tryst with the beautiful Lecturer on whom he used to shower flower petals at the University gate.

Despite his utmost desire to spend more time with his beautiful wife Jyoti, Pradeep was always deep into official engagements. As an investment banker he served influential clients who were not accustomed to work between nine to five. At times Jyoti would accost Pradeep and vehemently urge to take a family vacation. Pradeep too desperately wanted a vacation and gave an advance notice to his bank requesting a two week leave in December.

Of all the places in her bucket list, Jyoti wanted to see the Taj Mahal. Thus, when Pradeep lovingly announced to his wife that he had been granted leave and that he intends to go on a vacation visiting different places, he told Jyoti that they would first go to Agra by road and then visit other places.

While Jyoti and Pradeep were busy making elaborate plans for their vacation, Ahmad Shahzad was uncertain what he would do after he had completed post-graduation in Urdu. He recollected he had a friend in Agra whom he had not met for a long time and it clicked on him that it would not be a bad idea to go to Agra for a few days. Ahmad had requested his cousin to loan him his car for some days and thus his plan for Agra was complete.

Pradeep and Jyoti checked into the Orchid Retreat Hotel in Agra. After a complimentary breakfast, Pradeep called a taxi for the Taj Mahal which was only two kilometers away from the hotel. The afternoon Agra sun in December provided just the ambient temperature which was pleasant to sit in the open and enjoy. After walking around the Taj mausoleum square marble and red sandstone pedestal, Pradeep and Jyoti decided to sit in the open lawn and enjoy the sun.

Ahmad reached Agra a day before and went straight to his friend’s house in the Shahganj area of old Agra. The bonhomie between two friends meeting after a couple of years was overtly apparent. Ahmad had brought with him a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label and the two friends went back in time while the bottle slowly lost its weight.

In the morning Ahmad’s friend had to go to his working place and Ahmad decided to use the time to visit the Taj Mahal. It was around noon that Ahmad reached the Taj Mahal. He had visited the Taj several times and was in no mood to go near the mausoleum. The afternoon sun and its warmth was too enticing. Ahmad found a lonely place on the lawn and lay down. The weather was so intoxicating that he went into half sleep within no time oblivious of the crowd. He had been lying down for over an hour and in between his eyes continued to aimlessly scan the crowd. Suddenly his brain noticed something which made his mind alert. Some forty yards away a couple was sitting and the woman resembled someone whom his brain acknowledged as being known. Ahmad rubbed his eyes and focused on the couple, he recognized the woman, she was unmistakably Jyoti. In a flash Ahmad’s brain started recollecting memories of the University gate and his gesture of splattering flower petals in the path of Jyoti.

Ahmad continued to keep his focus on the couple but became conscious and tried to conceal his location. The couple seemed to be in candid conversation, by their demeanor Ahmad could discern that they were husband and wife. Ahmad was in no hurry and therefore continued to watch the couple. A good twenty minutes had passed when he noticed that the man had stood up and after speaking in animated tone to his wife, walked towards the entrance gate of the Taj complex. Ahmad’s eyes followed the man for some distance till he lost sight. Ahmad quickly sprang to life and swiftly walked towards Jyoti.

Jyoti saw Ahmad and froze. In a flash her mind played all the memories of her brief stint in the University and how this boy used to throw flowers at her. She also remembered that despite his outrageous acts, the boy had never misbehaved. As Jyoti looked towards Ahmad, she spotted a mischievous grin which was in a way innocent. Ahmad stood in front of Jyoti with an impish smile and said ‘give me hundred bucks, otherwise I will ask your husband for the money’. Jyoti knew it was futile to say something to this boy, without waiting for a moment Jyoti opened her purse and gave the boy a hundred rupee note. Surprisingly, the blatant request by the intruder was so innocent that Jyoti could not restrain herself from smiling in front of the boy. Ahmad kept and money and without any delay ran to his place where he was sitting. He kept on gazing at the couple till the couple left the Taj complex. Ahmad didn’t follow Jyoti; he went to his friend’s house.

Ahmad stayed with his friend for two more days and then said goodbye. He started from Agra at seven in the morning and soon found the NH-19 that connects Agra to Allahabad. The road had sparse traffic and his mind encouraged him to drive fast but Ahmad kept his urge in check, he maintained a steady speed never going past ninety kilometer per hour. Two hours passed and Ahmad checked his console which showed that he had travelled approximately one hundred and thirty kilometers. The sign boards mentioned that he was passing through Etawah. The road here was even better. Suddenly Ahmad saw in the distance some commotion in the middle of the highway road, he slowed. As he reached the spot, he could see that a big accident had taken place, by the look of it seemed that the accident had happened just a few minutes back. Ahmad alighted from his car and reached the exact spot. In the overturned car he could see the driver with his head in an unusual twisted angle, blood splattered. Ahmad knew the driver was dead. On the other side there was a lady, she was profusely bleeding but by the slow movement of her legs it was apparent that she was alive. Ahmad went closer, he recognized the woman, it was Jyoti. Ahmad’s mind froze.

It took ten minutes for Ahmad to move a profusely bleeding and unconscious Jyoti into his car. He opened Google map and searched for the nearest hospital. In ten minutes, Ahmad reached the Siya Devi Memorial Hospital. Once inside the hospital, events happened in a fast pace. The hospital staff swiftly wheeled Jyoti inside the Operation Theatre. At the reception, Ahmad was required to provide the required information. Ahmad introduced himself as a friend of Jyoti. When the receptionist asked Ahmad for his identification identity, Ahmad hesitated but then gave his Aadhar card. The receptionist professionally took the document, photocopied it and then returned it to Ahmad. Ahmad waited in the lounge.

It was after half an hour when the PA system announced that the doctor wanted to meet the attendant of a patient named Jyoti. Ahmad reached the reception. The Doctor informed Ahmad that the patient was in a critical condition and needed blood transfusion, also that an urgent operation was needed to save her life, the operation fees was eighty thousand.

Ahmad paid the operation fee from his debit card and donated blood. Although he felt a bit tired after blood donation but continued to keep vigil in the lounge. The hospital PA system again mentioned Jyoti at four in the evening. At the reception the doctor informed that the operation had been successful but Jyoti was still unconscious. The doctor gave Ahmad a pair of silver anklets and a gold necklace mentioning that before the operation these accessories which the patient was wearing were removed. Ahmad kept the anklet and the necklace safely in his pocket.

As it is mandatory by law, the Siya Devi Memorial Hospital informed the admission of an accident victim to the police. The Police had also reached the accident site and retrieved the wallet of Pradeep. From the address, the Police called the emergency numbers of Pradeep’s family.

At around eight in the evening Ahmad was paged by the hospital. The doctor informed Ahmad that Jyoti was now out of danger but still unconscious. The reception asked Ahmad to deposit rupees forty thousand more. Ahmad spent the night in the lounge. It was at seven the next day that Ahmad went outside the hospital to replenish his quota of cigarettes. As he was standing at a roadside shop, he saw a Police van stop in front of the hospital gate, this van was followed by another car from which several people emerged. Ahmad followed this party inside the hospital. The party stopped at the reception and from a distance Ahmad could listen that the Police personnel were enquiring about Jyoti. Ahmad understood that the Police was escorting the family members who had come after getting information from Police. Ahmad decided that Jyoti was now in safe hands. He went back to his car and reached NH-19.

Ahmad returned to Allahabad and resumed his daily routine. With no clear ambition, Ahmad would spend his days with friends doing nothing. As time passed his smoking became more habitual.

In the last few days, Ahmad started feeling some unusual pain in his upper back region in between the shoulder blades. In the next week he started experiencing occasional cough. Ahmad mentioned his problems to his friends and on their advice went to a local pharmacist and bought a bottle of cough syrup. In a few days the cough started aggravating and Ahmad went to a doctor. The doctor advised X-ray of the lung along with some antibiotics. Some fifteen days passed and Ahmad felt an internal weakness which he had never experienced before. The doctor referred him to a specialist. The Pulmonary specialist advised a low dose CT scan and Liquid Biopsy, a blood test that looks for tiny fragments of tumor DNA (known as circulating tumor DNA or ctDNA) in the blood. The results came after three days. Ahmad was diagnosed with lung cancer.

After diagnosis, either due to the disease or due to the mental acknowledgement of cancer, Ahmad’s health started deteriorating fast. He would cough and sometimes throw up some blood. Ahmad knew he was losing time. On a Sunday afternoon he called his wife and gave her an envelope which contained a few pieces of jewelry. He opened the envelope and showed his wife the anklets and a golden necklace. Ahmad told his wife that these ornaments are somebody else’s property and have to be returned as it is. It is quite possible that someday a lady might visit their home after he is gone. It is therefore a matter of trust and she must give the ornaments to that lady.  His wife wanted to ask something but suddenly Ahmad went into a bout of incessant cough.

That night Ahmad didn’t sleep. Although his wife and other family members sat around his bed but Ahmad’s mind was busy recollecting old memories. He reminisced his stay in the University and then the sweet memory of throwing flowers in the path of the beautiful Lecturer of the English Department. In his mind’s journey into the past, Ahmad lost the sensation of pain. He also lost count of time, his memory started getting hazy. The neck which till now was straight tilted to one side. The body went limp. Ahmad passed away.

Jyoti regained consciousness two days after Ahmad had returned. The intervening period when Jyoti was unconscious, it was a tough time for her kin to bide. In that constant mental agony and in the backdrop of Pradeep’s death, no one thought of finding out who brought Jyoti to the hospital and who managed her for the period before her family arrived. Jyoti had to stay in hospital for eighteen more days. Even when she was discharged from hospital, Jyoti had fracture in hand and ribs. She was also in deep mental depression when she learnt of Pradeep’s death.

With her medical condition still requiring constant attention, Jyoti became disillusioned with life, she became a recluse. For extended periods she would just listen to her mind which kept on playing past memories. There were moments when her mind would meander to the memory of that boy who used to throw flowers at her and who recently met her at Taj Mahal. For an umpteenth time, she tried to recollect what had happened before Pradeep lost control of his car and collided with the concrete divider. She found no answers. Her mind had gone blank. Some questions kept on haunting Jyoti; how did she reach the hospital? who took care of her? Jyoti made a mental note that she will find the answers.

It was the first of October, exactly ten months after her accident, Jyoti reached Etawah. Straight she went to the Siya Devi Memorial Hospital. Jyoti went to the reception but there was so much crowd that nobody gave her a hearing. Jyoti waited. After two hours Jyoti found a lean period and she again went to the reception. She introduced herself and made a request, Fortunately the man at the counter was a jovial person, he was attracted to the young lady presenting before him with a weird request. Rakesh thought for a moment and fished out several files from the cabinet. After ten minutes of leafing through documents Rakesh looked towards Jyoti. He gave Jyoti two pages, a photocopy on which was printed an Aadhar card and the other where the bill details were mentioned. Jyoti looked at the papers. The name on the Aadhar card made her brain cells become hyperactive. The Aadhar card read ‘AHMAD SHAHZAD’ 221 Dondipur, Allahabad 211003.  She read the other paper; there was detail of payments made. Jyoti saw the numbers, she realized that a sum of eighty thousand and again forty thousand was paid within the first twenty-four hours of her admission into the hospital.

It was no rocket science for Jyoti to piece together the missing link between Pradeep’s accident and her landing in the hospital. Jyoti understood that the person who had brought her to the hospital was the same Ahmad Shahzad who used to put petals in her stride. Everything was now falling in place; she started wondering about the whereabouts of Ahmad Shahzad.

Dondipur is a congested locality of Allahabad within hundred yards of the old Grand Trunk Road. The lanes and by lanes are narrow and four wheelers do not enter the area. Thus, Jyoti left her cab on the road and decided to walk. Finding 221 Dondipur was not easy. The house numbers were haphazardly placed. Jyoti asked shopkeepers about 221 Dondipur but everyone gave different answers, then Jyoti asked someone about a person named Ahmad Shahzad and soon that person personally guided Jyoti to an old house. Jyoti knocked at the door.

The woman who opened the door was in white saree. She looked forlorn. With a questioning look the woman directed Jyoti inside a small room that had four chairs, Jyoti sat on a chair. Jyoti introduced herself and mentioned that she wanted to meet Ahmad Shahzad. Jyoti could sense that the woman felt uncomfortable when Jyoti mentioned the name Ahmad Shahzad. As Jyoti watched her, she saw a few tears trickle down the woman’s cheeks. Jyoti stood from her chair and hugged the woman.

Jyoti’s eyes could not hold tears when she came to know about Ahmad Shahzad’s death. She talked with Ahmad’s widow for almost an hour. It was later that the woman excused herself and went inside. She came back and brought an envelope. She gave the envelope to Jyoti. Jyoti emptied the contents on her palm and suddenly went back in time. A stream of tears started flowing from her eyes. To show her respect to Ahmad, she hugged his widow again, this time in a long embrace.

Jyoti returned from Allahabad and became even more recluse. At times she would cry, although within herself she did not know whether she cried for Pradeep or Ahmad.

Time is a big healer. Jyoti developed an interest in reading books. She read Philosophy. She read the Republic by Plato, The Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle and Gita. A couple of years passed and Jyoti felt better.

Thus, it was at the constant and prolonged instigation by friends and relatives that Jyoti said a reluctant yes to a matrimonial proposal from a well to do businessman belonging to a very religious family.  The marriage was a low-key affair. Jyoti’s life changed post marriage, within a few months Jyoti became an indispensable member of the Mishra family.

Jyoti and Manish decided to visit Ooty for a belated honeymoon, but before that, it was agreed that they will go to Sri Venkateswara Swamy Temple at Tirupati and pay obeisance to Lord Vishnu. At Ooty, the couple checked in at The Woodlands Residency Hotel about four kilometers from the Ooty lake. The weather was perfect, inside the Queen Room Jyoti felt romantic, she hugged Manish and out of the blue, planted a kiss, much to the amazement and delight of her husband.

It was a lazy morning and Manish and Jyoti had a cozy breakfast through room service. Jyoti lay on the bed with her head on Manish’s lap. Manish stroked her hair. The conversation was also romantic; Manish and Jyoti were loud thinking about how many children they wanted to have. The conversation moved to whether they would prefer a girl or a boy. In between this romantic interlude, Jyoti asked Manish whether he would give an undertaking that he will fulfil one wish of Jyoti. Manish, his body secreting copious amounts of oxytocin and with Jyoti’s head on his lap, said that he will fulfil every wish that Jyoti makes. Jyoti again repeated the question and asked Manish to emphatically agree to fulfil one wish of Jyoti which she will tell later. Manish replied an emphatic ‘yes’.

A couple of months passed and Jyoti woke up one morning with a bout of nausea. Manish became concerned. Later in the day the doctor broke the good news that Jyoti was pregnant. A wave of celebration engulfed the Mishra household. Jyoti was subjected to special care. Jyoti’s mother-in-law organized a special ‘havan’.

Nine months passed without any glitch. It was a Thursday afternoon when Jyoti felt the start of labour. A baby boy was born to Jyoti at around ten in the night. The Mishra household erupted in joy.

As Jyoti lay in bed with her little angel, Manish could not help watch this moment with an emotion that was beyond words. At this moment Jyoti asked Manish whether he remembered his undertaking that he will fulfil one wish of Jyoti without any question. Manish said he remembered the undertaking and would fulfil the wish. Jyoti looked towards the newborn boy, stroking his head she said to Manish that she wanted to name the boy AHMAD.