Will you marry me?

Although she had turned off the alarm, her circadian clock made her get up at five minutes past eight. Today, on this Saturday morning, she wanted to sleep more. Varsha stretched, yawned, loosened her arms and took a deep breath. A faint smile defined her countenance, this happy feeling had lingered with her even during the time she was asleep. Last night she had been on phone constantly till the wee hours. Since the time Mohit had landed in Delhi from Paris last night at eleven in the night, they had been constantly talking till both got overwhelmed with sleep, Varsha didn’t remember when the phone had slipped out from her hands and she had started dreaming. Five kilometers away Mohit had felt the same in his residence.

Varsha looked for her mobile on her crumpled bed. Fishing her phone from beneath the blanket she tried to focus her sleepy eyes on the screen. Suddenly her eyes lost the dreary sleepiness, the screen showed three missed calls from Mohit. There was also a WhatsApp message which said ‘Wait for me at 5 p.m.’ Varsha hit the call button and waited with gleeful anticipation of Mohit’s response. They again talked for a good fifty minutes. Despite her insistence Mohit did not disclose what he planned at 5 p.m. He only informed that he would take her out for a dinner date.

Varsha lay on the bed; her mind was coaxing her to continue thinking about Mohit. She felt a strange pleasure reminiscing her life’s journey of two years which she had spent with Mohit as her most valued friend. Her mind took her to the time when as a final year MBA student, she had gingerly approached her one-year senior for some advice. She loved the way Mohit had treated her. In that brief encounter Mohit had said a few things which made her smile. Varsha remembered how a few days later after her first encounter with Mohit, he had waved at her from the corridor while she was sitting inside the class. His act seemed a bit brash but Varsha loved this gesture.

Varsha’s thoughts came flooding while she lay half-awake on this Saturday morning oblivious of the clock showing thirty minutes past ten in the morning. Her mind played the memory of the moment when Mohit had for the first time held her hand while the two walked in the isolated park. She vividly remembered how all of a sudden Mohit had put a hand across her neck and tilted her face towards him before planting a kiss. Even after one and half years, while Varsha lay on her bed waiting for the clock to reach 5 pm, she could feel her heart pound faster. She closed her eyes and made the dream pause. She wanted to savour the moment again and again.

Varsha looked at the wall clock, she could see only one hand of the clock, her mind deciphered it was noon. She decided to take a quick bath before she indulged into a late breakfast. Her mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of Mohit. She calculated and remembered that Mohit had gone to France on a company assignment six months back. Today she was going to meet him after six months. Her heart again missed a beat.

True to his habit, Mohit was ten minutes before the clock could reach 5 p.m. when he pushed the bell on the door where a small wooden dangler displayed ‘Varsha Ganguly’. The door opened instantaneously as if the occupant was waiting for the bell. As soon as the occupant opened the door, the visitor held her tight with both hands and together they walked inside the house. Varsha felt over the moon!

It was after forty minutes that Mohit and Varsha walked out of the apartment. In her polka dotted, midriff baring cropped top and ripped jeans, she looked enticingly glamorous. Mohit started his motorcycle and Varsha joyfully sat on the pillion seat hugging Mohit as if she wanted to compensate for the six-month hiatus. Mohit drove for a good half an hour, on her part Varsha didn’t realize the time spent on the ride, she opened her eyes only when Mohit prodded her after they had reached their destination.

It was an hour after dinner was served that Mohit fished something from his pocket and walked a couple of steps towards Varsha’s chair. He knelt down on one knee and held the diamond ring towards Varsha. Displaying a sheepish innocent grin, he murmured ‘will you marry me’. Varsha clasped her hands on her face and a moment later, with tear loaded eyes, said ‘yes’. The diamond ring looked beautiful on the fourth finger of her left hand. The moment became so special that both Mohit and Varsha were speechless. Although both Mohit and Varsha had long anticipated this moment, the real act of this ritual was too good to comprehend. Varsha stood dazed. Mohit held her hand and silently walked towards his bike. It took another thirty minutes for Mohit to reach Varsha’s apartment.

Before going inside her apartment, Varsha hugged Mohit in a long embrace. For the first time in two years, Varsha kissed Mohit on the lips. Mohit felt an emotion which he had never experienced before. Varsha stood looking towards Mohit while he started his motorcycle and went towards his apartment.

Thirty minutes had passed and Mohit had not called. Usually, it took twenty minutes for Mohit to reach his apartment from Varsha’s residence. Varsha felt a sense of unease when Mohit did not take her call. The phone rang but it was not picked up. It was after two hours that Mohit called. With spring in her steps, Varsha picked the phone. Excitedly she answered the phone waiting for Mohit to reply. Varsha’s elan vanished when a cold male voice responded. The male voice on the other side enquired whether it was Varsha who was speaking. The caller then asked Varsha what relation she has with the owner of the phone from which this call was being made. After a few more questions, the caller identified himself as a Police Officer and informed Varsha that the owner of phone has met with a fatal accident.

Like a fresh wound, the pain of Mohit’s death did not did not affect Varsha for the first couple of days. She ran around Police Office and the mortuary completing official formalities. The realization of Mohit’s absence was still too far a thought for her. Her mind falsely consoled her that Mohit was still somewhere around, albeit in mortuary.

It was on the third night after Mohit’s death that Varsha felt the real pain. She recollected the moments when Mohit had knelt and popped the proposing question. For the full day she did not eat anything and neither did she feel any urge.

Days passed into weeks and weeks melted into months. Outwardly a sense of normalcy had returned into Varsha’s life but she felt broken and alone. At times, with a lump in her throat, she would shift her gaze to the shining ring stone on her finger, the last gift which she had received from Mohit. Time is a big healer and it also played a part in Varsha’s life. Within six months she started picking lost threads of her life. The grief now became more personal. She had reconciled to a life beyond Mohit.

Despite her best effort to look normal, Varsha developed a few phobias after Mohit’s death. The once effervescent girl who loved high fashion became averse to western clothes. As an acquired habit she had started wearing ethnic traditional clothes. Ripped jeans and cropped top found a space far inside her closet.

It was after continued counselling from kin and friends that Varsha started looking for advertisements that appealed to her skill sets of a management graduate. A week later, in response to an advertisement for a Managerial position in a real estate company, a sari clad Varsha walked inside the cabin of the Chief Manager of Orchid Enterprises for a walk-in interview. 

The moment Varsha entered the room, Varun got a call from the Head Office and did not notice that somewhen had come inside his cabin. The call was important and Varun talked for next eight minutes while Varsha waited for some response. Varun’s gaze caught Varsha and he nodded towards her to take a seat. In dull yellow sari Varsha silently sat on the visitor chair with folded hands clutching a manila envelope. Varun found the girl sitting in front of him a shade sober for the job but her replies to his questions were intelligent.

After having interviewed nine prospective candidates who had offered for the advertised job, Varun found Varsha the most intelligent, although he was a bit surprised by her dress sense. All other candidates who had management background usually preferred western attire while they had presented themselves in the interview. After a thoughtful ten minutes, while he debated in his mind the relative merit, Varun made his final choice. He decided he will hire Varsha.

Varsha received an email from Orchid Enterprises at around five in the evening. As she went through the mail which mentioned that she had been selected for the post of Assistant Manager, her eyes became wet. Thoughts of Mohit suddenly flooded her mind. A few tears trickled down her cheeks. She then realized what it means to be happy and sad at the same time. Somewhere deep inside her brain, Varsha could feel the excitement of her first job.

The space allotted to Varsha in the office was an aluminum wall demarcated 8 x 6 box room with three chairs and a table. Varsha put her bag and tiffin in a corner and took her seat. Within five minutes her intercom buzzed and she found it was the Chief manager Varun on the other side, He asked Varsha to come and meet him.

The meeting lasted just twenty minutes in which Varun explained the job profile to Varsha. Varsha felt a sense of confidence in Varun. She noticed that Varun was meticulous and cooperative. As Varsha walked back to her cabin, she felt happy that she had joined this company.

At the stroke of one in the afternoon, Varsha observed that all office staff had left their cabins and some of them went to the adjoining hall which had a long table with chairs on both sides. Varsha too walked in the hall with her lunch box. It was during the lunch break that Hussain introduced himself to Varsha and also introduced others to her. Hussain was in his thirties. Varsha sensed he was a bit extrovert. There were several females in the group. Varsha felt she was slightly misfit because all the girls were in trendy western attire. As Hussain introduced each person to Varsha, Varsha made note of their names. The clock on the wall struck two and everyone trooped out and went to their cabins. Varsha was the last one to go out. She was still trying to remember the names.

Within a few days Varsha understood the job she was assigned and melted into the office work. During lunch break she had started conversing with other members of the office, albeit her conversation started and ended with pleasantries. She sensed that all the girls harbored an unspoken rivalry when it came to dressing sense. Most girls would invariably sport tight western wear which made Varsha feel embarrassed in the company of male members. Usually it was Hussain who would sometime poke a few innuendoes. Hussain had such an image that none of the girls found his remarks offending.

A month had gone by and Varsha had fluently picked the office work. Despite her efficiency in the job at hand, Varsha realized that she was not able to match up to the exuberance of other females. She found herself incapable to compete with any of the other girls in terms of wearing revealing clothes or loud makeup. Invariably she felt alone on the table while other male staff members engaged in animated conversation with other girls. Varsha had maintained her demeanor and she only changed the colour of her sari.

It was a Thursday and Varsha noticed that there was some increased bonhomie between a group of office staff. The center of conversation was Dolly Sahu. Today she had worn a cropped midriff baring top and ripped jeans. Varsha observed but didn’t ask anybody the reason. It was the lunchtime when Varsha realized that today was Dolly’s birthday. All office staff had taken their places on the lunch table and Dolly, blushing with very loud makeup, took the front seat. To Varsha’s surprise, Varun also joined all the office staff. She noticed that today Varun looked in a cheerful mood, he was certainly not the same as he would portray himself inside the office. He sported a grin and greeted Dolly with a lingering handshake while saying ‘happy birthday’. Dolly cut the cake and offered the first piece to Varun. In the far corner of the table Varsha sat silently. Her mind played a short memory of Mohit. At the stroke of 2 pm, everything returned to normal.

Months passed and Varsha’s routine got fixed. This month she was appreciated by the company’s director for her efficient work. Her photograph was on the display board. Varsha felt happy for the accolade. Several times in a day Varun would call her and discuss work with her. For all practical purposes she behaved very normal except that she would keep a working distance with male members, unlike other girls who would show a flirtatious behaviour at the drop of a hat.

It was the first week of September and the weather was changing. Varsha observed she had not seen Varun for the last three days. In a discreetly muted manner, she asked Varun’s secretary the reason for the absence of the Chief Manager. The secretary informed her that Varun was not well. A few more days passed and Varun still remained absent.

The evening breeze of the receding monsoon in early September was pleasant. Today, on this Friday evening, after office Varsha took the taxi to Sigma Apartments which was a well known place in the city. At a florist shop, on way to Sigma apartments, Varsha bought a bouquet. It was not difficult to find flat B 21. Varsha took the stairs to the second floor and found B 21. The golden alphabets on the black nameplate read Varun Rastogi. With a pulse slightly fast in response to a surge of adrenaline, she pushed the bell.

The scene inside the office on Monday morning was normal. It was at around ten when Varun walked in and went to his cabin, however just before entering his office he let his eyes wander to see what others were doing. Everything was normal, he realized Dolly was sporting a skimpy bralette. Varun steadied his gaze lest his eyes linger on Dolly’s assets. His eyes then caught sight of Varsha, she was wearing a blue sari, as Varsha looked towards him, he realized she said a silent hello.

Two months passed with monotonous routine. The lunch breaks were also repetitive. Some of the male members went through their lunch without fanfare. They also paid little attention to outrageous outfits which some girls advertised. Hussain was the only character who would always crack a joke, sometimes he would include Varsha in his banter. Varsha found Hussain funny, at least better than the others. Sometimes, she did share something from her lunch with Hussain.

It was the Monday in the last week of December, Varun called Varsha in his office. There were many work files which he discussed. After finishing official work, Varun asked Varsha to tell other office staff that this year the New Year function would be celebrated in the office and that all office staff must come in party dress on December 31st.

As Varsha broke the news, everyone became happy. Dolly and some other girls started discussing the possibility of a dance function on New Year eve. The lunch hour for the next few days was filled with debates and suggestions how the office staff will celebrate the December 31st night. The girls kept on discussing options regarding what they intended to wear. There was a unanimous approval that it would be exciting if a dance floor was created for members to groove. Someone volunteered to take this suggestion to the Chief Manager.

Varun had asked his office staff to come at four in the evening to the office on December 31st. As office members reached the office on December 31st, they were in for a surprise. The office floor had been completely transformed with a dance floor, neon lights and loud music. Most of the male members had opted for formal attire which included tuxedo or suits. The girls were a sight to behold. Their dress sense belied the winter temperature. Save Varsha, almost all wore dresses which showed their bare shoulders. Dolly was the cynosure of all eyes. Her heavily cropped top was perfectly matched with a high slit gown. In pencil high heels she looked stunning. In maroon sari Varsha also looked beautiful. Today, for a change, she had used a dash of rouge. Coupled with a glowing lipstick she epitomized traditional charm.

The party started at six in the evening. Varun took the mike and welcomed everyone. Varsha was surprised to see Varun in such a jovial mood. Her mind today was forced to reluctantly admit that Varun looked dashing in that steel grey suit. While Varun was making a short speech, Dolly somehow sneaked her way next to Varun. She stood next to him. Just before Varun finished his speech, he mentioned that this New Year’s night will be full of surprises for the office staff. There will be a big announcement.

The music started and some girls stepped on the dance floor. The evening had started in style. A side table was full of drinks and everyone was enjoying. After sometime, Dolly came to Varun and insisted that he too take the dance floor. Much to the delight of office staff, Varun ceded to the request. A fresh energy filled the steps of those dancing. Dolly took the lead and held Varun’s hand, she coaxed Varun to match her steps. A few moments later, Varun was dancing in sync with Dolly. Seeing Dolly in her true elements, everyone stood still and watched Varun dance with Dolly. Dolly, throwing modesty to winds, grooved to the high octane music in a manner that one would believe this was her last night on this planet. At times she would lean on Varun touching him unabashedly.

When, one by one, everyone had taken the dance floor only Varsha was left behind. Suddenly Varun came down the dance floor and held Varsha’s hand in a gesture which invited her to join everyone on the dance floor. Seeing Varun specially inviting her, Varsha did not say ‘no’. Reluctantly she walked to the stage. Varun held her hand and did a few slow steps. Varsha felt a strange feeling when Varun held her hand. She felt a bout of adrenaline. At this moment she realized she too wanted to hold Varun’s hand. Varsha didn’t realize how much time had elapsed while she had gingerly matched steps with Varun. However, when her mind emerged from the trance, she saw Varun dancing with someone else.

The party continued till eleven in the night, before dinner was served Varun again took the mike. Tired from the dance frenzy everyone stood in attention. Varsha took a place at the second last spot of the huddle. Varun again congratulated the staff and told them that today was a very important day for him. Everyone now listened in rapt attention. Varun continued that he wanted to make a big announcement, an announcement that would change his life forever. After a pregnant pause, Varun continued that today he is going to propose to someone whom he loves. The office staff didn’t know how to respond. Dolly blushed. Some girls looked towards Dolly with inquisitive gaze. At this very moment Varun took out a rose from a bag and held it in his hand. His eyes scanned the huddle, he paused when his sight found Dolly. He moved towards the place where all his office staff were now huddled. Dolly, already beaming with an expectant smile, had covered her face with her hands. She knew the moment was coming. Varun reached the place where Dolly was standing with her face covered with her hands. Varun kept on walking with the rose in his hand and stopped where a dazed Varsha was standing. Varun knelt on one knee and popped the question ‘will you marry me’. 

At the instant Varsha didn’t realize whether the act being played before her was true or a dream. For several moments she stood dazed in front of a kneeling Varun. While the office staff clapped, Varsha, with happy tears coming out from her eyes, found the courage to say ‘yes’.

During dinner two chairs were placed at the front end of the table. Varun and Varsha sat together. Two rows behind, Dolly sat alone. She had no appetite to eat the dinner.