A GREAT OFFICER

Dave was not a plant person. He preferred the company of inanimate objects like his stapler and the vending machine. So when his boss, the eccentric Mr. Jenkins, insisted on placing a monstrous, leafy monstrosity on Dave's desk, the world tilted on its axis.

Dave named it Reginald. Reginald was a fern, but Dave suspected it had an evil twin lurking within those feathery fronds. It seemed to grow an inch every hour, its leaves casting an ever-encroaching shadow over Dave's workspace. The plant food was a sticky green goop that Dave was convinced was alien slime.

One Monday morning, as Dave was nursing his coffee, he noticed Reginald was looking particularly perky. A bit too perky. A tiny, green sprout was poking out from the soil. Dave stared, horrified. Reginald was having a baby!

Over the next few weeks, Dave watched in disbelief as Reginald produced not one, but five tiny fern offspring. The office was now a jungle. Co-workers started bringing in their own plants for company, creating a verdant oasis in the middle of the office.

Mr. Jenkins was ecstatic. He declared a "Plant-Off" competition, with a cash prize for the best plant. Dave, armed with a pair of gardening gloves and a newfound determination, entered Reginald and his five offspring.

To everyone's astonishment, Reginald and his family won. The office erupted in applause. Dave, clutching his prize money, looked at Reginald with newfound respect. Maybe, just maybe, there was something to be said for plant parenthood after all.