Youth
Youth
You used to look at me like I was gold,
Told me I was pretty.
You used to watch me so intently,
It was almost scary.
You used to bring me pretty gifts,
Spoiled me with expensive clothes and sappy kisses.
I thought it was just you showing your love for me,
I was too young to read between the actions.
You used to come home when my parents were out,
You always did that;
Waited for hours before leaving,
Before leaving with a kiss on my lips.
Young I was, naive I was,
Foolishly I thought it was alright.
I was a kid, a child back then,
The kiss was just a child's play,
You were just showing your love, I thought.
I remember that one day,
My parents weren't home.
I told you to leave, your sultry looks scared me,
But you didn't.
I remember you closing the distance between us,
I remember you saying it was okay.
I remember it all, you know,
The way you tarnished my youth that day,
The way you ripped me off my innocence.
Your hands were the first thing I fell against my skin,
Rubbing the underside of my thighs gently.
I squirmed and pulled away,
But you were strong.
Your lips were the next thing I felt,
Forcing its way into my tiny mouth.
It was disgusting, dirty,
I pushed you away.
But you were strong.
So strong.
Your hands travelled upward,
Your touches sending tears down my cheeks.
It was dirty, I felt violated.
You touched me in places no one ever did,
I told you to stop, tried to push your you away
But you were old and you were strong -
And I sat there like a fool,
And cried,
And cried:
While you played with my body.
You still visit my home sometimes,
But I can never look at your face anymore.
You still bring gifts for me on my birthdays,
But I don't say thank you anymore.
You killed a part of my soul that day,
Left wet scars
All over my body;
And scared me of love,
Of kisses,
Of touch.