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Raju Ganapathy

Comedy Drama Others


Raju Ganapathy

Comedy Drama Others

Youth for Cow

Youth for Cow

4 mins

The bearded sanyasi mused that the time was ripe for launching the “youth for the cow” movement. One highest body of education had declared that maths and physics were not essential for engineering education. Typically, the nation’s youth flocked for engineering education as they would think that for Make in India you needed to strengthen manufacturing base and engineering degree was essential. Now a wise council had decided otherwise. What would the youth do now? As it was the COVID had destroyed millions of jobs.

The bearded sanyasi called for the brilliant minds among his followers. Not that there was a great supply of brilliant minds left now. Even if one had, one never used the mind. All that was required in these times was to say yes. The sanyasi wanted to launch the movement as mentioned above.

Cow represented the true essence of this ancient land. It gave milk, its urine, some folks had made it a point to drink each day for nourishment. Its gobar generated gas, not as much as the politicians do. That was besides the point. In a nutshell it was the mother.

The scheme that the sanyasi had in mind was a bit sketchy. It went like this. Youth who were interested in an alternative life style would have to register for this scheme. They would be interviewed for their suitability. The scheme would involve nurturing cows and making a living out of selling cow’s products. The scheme further involved training for three months in a cow shala.

Let us understand we are not talking of jersey and Holstein cows. We are talking of pure-bred desi cows of the Aryan variety. In the cow shalas they would be fed with lush grasses, plants and herbs that would help in lactation. Chanting of mantras from the ancient scripts would be tauught to keep the cows happy. It was the happy cow that gave nourishing milk. Calling it milk would be a misnomer. Actually, it would be Amrit. Amrit would keep its consumers disease free.

Sanyasi thought he needed some land by the river Ganges to construct a cow shala and launch the scheme. He would approach the “Monk who would be next PM”. What better land than the one in which Krishna and Rama was born. What better place than this one state which was struggling with its backwardness and had a large captive youth audience.

Moreover “the monk who does yoga” was also based there. He could be counted for building a brand image and making the movement popular. Of course, there was the Bollywood star who proudly confessed of the urine addiction of the cow variety. He could also be counted. The masses were also caught up in myths so much that the distinction between myths and reality got blurred for most of them.

He thought of fund requirement. Whatever the amount, he felt that would not pose a problem. The honchos with their names starting with ‘A’s were always there. The two were competing to become richer day by day while the country was getting poorer. Not that they were the reasons for the country getting poorer. One can’t help think that way in the present context.

The ruling establishment had many spokesmen of all variety to beat the thunder out of any sceptics. Of course, the IT cell was also there to spread fake news. This factory was one Make in India that was always successful.

Now all he needed was a business plan. He ruled out Harvard graduates and their Indian copies. He needed genuine native thinking, who else can appreciate a cow? He called for the Cow Economic Advisor (CEA) and briefed him about the scheme. Soon the business plan was in his hands. The bank manager was more than pleased to approve of the plan in return for the monthly supply of shudh Cow ghee prepared on the traditional methods described in the texts. Anyway, he was not worried about NPAs and all that. Bad Bank would take care of it in the immediate future. Poor tax payers, he sighed. He himself was one. But when the sanyasi described the process of preparing the cow ghee, he drooled in anticipation and forgot all his misgivings and signed the loan.

On a suitable date which was considered to be auspicious according to the desi calendar the PM was invited to launch the International Cow day and the bearded sanyasi for his part announced the movement “Youth for Cow”.

The officials at Chankyaniti Udyog welcomed the scheme and put out relevant statistics as to how the scheme if scaled up would add a few percentage points to the GDP and address the ever sore issue of youth employment.

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