When Shiva Smiled

Somewhere in Kailasa, 23rd August, 2023 Time a few minutes past six pm.

Shiva was deep in meditation when the Vikram landed. He felt a slight knock on his head and wondered what was that about. But he didn’t feel good about it in his gut. He made a mental note to ask his son Ganesh, known for his wisdom. 

Later when he met Ganesh he described what he had felt a bit earlier. Ganesh had a good laugh and said “India is celebrating the landing of Vikram, their spacecraft on the south side of the moon. I had watched it all along” added Ganesh. Shiva didn’t seem amused. He remarked, “If India could do it many others would follow suit.”

Ganesh said “That might be a possibility, what with Pakistan being their neighbour. A race for the moon landing could begin anytime.”

Then Ganesh asked with a twinkle “Dad, did you have a hand or your third eye in the failure of the Russian spacecraft”?

Shiva just raised his eyebrows but didn’t answer the question. But asked Ganesh to fetch Nandi. 

When Nandi came to meet Shiva, Shiva ordered a meeting of the council. Soon the members convened for they felt it was some sort of emergency. Shiva described what he had felt and shared what Ganesh had told him about Vikram's landing. 

Immediately one of the bhakts reacted angrily and said “My lord it is an insult to you. Didn’t they know the moon is your private property? Did they ask your permission even? It is a sheer encroachment that needs to be punished!”

Another bhakt indignantly added until now Indians were happy flying Diwali rockets. How did they dare fly a rocket to the moon? It is high time my lord Shiva that you put your foot down like you did to the Srilankan (Ravan)!

Another one added, “just to teach them, you could unleash Ganga and flood the hills and the plains.”

Just then Narad who was always known for his mischief had just arrived uninvited and chanted Om Namoshahvaya and wondered loudly “What if they interpret the flood not as your anger but one of climate change effect?”

Ganesh laughed and said quite so. In India when tomato price goes up they say it was due to climate change. Now onion prices are on the rise. They would call it too as climate change effect. 

Somebody intervened and said onions unlike tomatoes have an ill effect on the government. When its price rises government gets shaken. PM’s onion tears won’t be any good then.

Shiva asked if should we do something about the price rise of onions then. Shall we introduce a virus that affects onions?

Some voice asked Isn’t that the prerogative of the Chinese to introduce the virus? Everyone laughed. 

Ganesh once again intervened and said My reading is that India is eyeing Mars now? That would take some years.

Just then Parvati cleared her throat and Shiva understood. He looked at her with loving eyes and said Parvati, what do you think?

Parvati said how about focusing on India? A chorus of voices went up and said ‘My lady we have all been talking of India only all the time.’

Parvati said I meant I.N.D.I.A. 

Narad immediately understood the implications. He added what Ma Parvati is implying was that if we focus on I.N.D.I.A, then may be the current government could be defeated in the elections in 2024. Anyway, they are a coalition of about 23 divergent parties with many leaders eyeing the seat of the PM. Such a government would be busy putting off fires and their Moon or Mars mission would be forgotten.

Parvati smilingly commented, “Narad you are indeed sharp.” 

Shiva somberly remarked we can’t let India progress in science. Religion and fear of God must dominate their psyche. Otherwise, who would worship us?

Ganesh added good news is that Mr. Ramaswamy Vivek is a Republican contender in the US, If we can fix his win in the forthcoming election, we can put the fear of God in his Indian psyche too! China is undergoing a recession and Russia is still smarting with an unwinnable war and the failure of their rocket. 

Nandi did the summing up. We will increase the price of onions and back I.N.D.I.A. In the US we shall back Mr Ramaswamy. What shall we call this secretive operation? Lord, he looked askance at Shiva. “Operation Shiva Smile” responded Ganesh.

India

Onion prices started rising uncontrollably. PM’s onion tears didn’t put a stop to it. In the assembly elections I.N.D.I.A handsomely won in all the states including the Madya Pradesh defeating the ruling party. Nobody could call this loss a result of the climate effect. The saffron brigade went back to the drawing board and unleashed Hindutva right, left and centre. 

Suddenly Naga Sadhus were seen all over India. People wondered was it a result of calamity happening in the Himalayan region. They were tight lipped and didn't open their mouth even to journalists.

In the US, Ramaswamy trumped over Trump. The stage was set for an Indian to take over the world’s number one power. Poojas were being offered for his victory in both US and Indian temples. 

At the US Embassy Controller had noticed a sudden rush of Naga Sadhus wanting a visa. He wondered why but didn't connect the dots to the rise of political stock of Mr Ramaswamy. 

At ISRO the chief was grief-struck for the proposal he had submitted for funding was not coming through. Instead, he found Bollywood religious-based big-budget films were being released. The box office was overflowing with cash. PM in a desperate move called for the recovery of Krishna Janmabhoomi. 

Nandi reported to Shiva that the OSS was on track. Shiva just smiled.