wolf and pigs

In a nice sized semi-detached house with two gardens and a garage lived four pigs. Mummy pig was living quite nicely after daddy pig ran away with a cow. His child support and mortgage payments were going quite well with her wage from her as a biologist. She had three sons who in her eyes could do no wrong. The three triplets had now got to an age where mum was getting annoying and moving out was at the front of there minds.they had already been house hunting and got a place lined up. The deposit of one month's rent and bond paid. One evening the boys went out to the pub and discussed how they were going to tell there mum they were moving out. 

The discussion lasted for several pints and they were all pretty well inebriated now. This led to an argument and subsequently they were arrested and put in the cells for the night. 

In the morning the three boys walked home delaying the inevitable. They couldn't remember who was going to tell her what they were doing so they drew straws. Bob went first then Bill then Ben. Bill was the unlucky one and once again. He pulled the short straw and Bob and Ben nearly weed with laughter. 

When they got home there mum was stood outside with the police. The boy's hangover soon disappeared. 

"Mum what's happened." The three thuggy pigs cried in unison. 

"Where were you last night. I was here all by myself when a wolf broke in and stole the TV my jewellery and what money he could find. I ran out of the back door when he came in and I was able to get away." 

"We are so sorry for this mum we will keep you safe." 

"leave it to us boys you won't get away with vigilantism." said officer Dibble. 

That day the three little pigs patched up the front door and sat there poor mum down. 

"Oh, you are good boys looking after me like this I will make your favourite tea tonight." 

"Mum." bill interrupted. 

"We are moving out today we have found a place to rent. It's just around the corner so we will see you every day. For food laundry and money etc." 

Mummy pig broke down in a fit of hysteria. Wailing like a banshee and dropping to her knees. Grabbing at there pants as they walked away in shame. 

 

Bob Bill and Ben packed there bags and said a sad farewell to there mum. They were happy to be getting there freedom and knew they would be back to there mum later that day for tea. 

Once they had finished arguing over which bedroom each was going to have they started to try and work out who had burgled their mum's house. It was decided that they would begin their investigation in the pub. The sheep behind the bar was very useful. 

", a wolf came in earlier try to sell some jewellery. It was obviously knocked off so everyone told him to do one." 

A sly sneaky wolf that's unusual for one to be working alone. That seemed more like fox behaviour. The pigs knew exactly which wolf it was instantly. 

" Herbert. "they chorused. 

Happy with their new information they spent the afternoon in the pub making plans to get revenge. Then went back to check on their mum and get some food. 

Getting back to there mum's house was not a joyous event. The door was wide open and inside the house was like a tornado had swept through. The boys split up and ran around the house looking for there mum. Bob found her upstairs. The bathroom door had been kicked in and she was laying on the floor dead with bite marks and chunks bitten out all over. 

They rang the police and the huge Doberman. Dibble showed up promptly. He went over the scene carefully. 

"Now boys I fully understand how upsetting this must be for you. I repeat leave it to us. I know that you have already been asking questions."

The three boys' boys'sd that they would stop and left upset and angry. Herbert was only going to get a beating now they were going to kill him. 

The three pigs were slobbing around in their new home arguing over the best way to kill the wolf. Bob suggested that they poison him. Bill suggested that they have an accidentally on purpose car crash. Ben suggested that they boil him to death in a cauldron of scalding pig swill. They chose to use Bob's plan first. 

As far as they knew Herbert had no idea that they knew he was behind the burglary and murder. So Bob went out to the library and got a book out on poisons and started to study the most painful way to kill a wolf. Bill and Ben went out shopping for food to make a beautiful meal. They knew that if you wanted a wolf to do something for you a good meal was the way to start a safeish conversation. 

After Bob's, he went out foraging for various plants. When he got home Ben was busy cooking up a storm in the kitchen he was using every ring on the hob the grill and the oven. This caused another spout of bickering. Then Ben pointed out that Bob could use the microwave. With a lot of muttering Bob used a pestle and mortar to grind up the carefully measured out leaves and roots then mixed them with an unhealthy glug of battery acid. He placed the concoction in the microwave and nuked it for thirty seconds. He repeated the process until he had the consistency the book described. The smell was vomit-inducing. Both Bob and Ben lost there breakfast. Bill walked in took one sniff and ran back out holding his stomach. When they had all gone nose blind to the smell they. Talked Bill told the other two how he had shouted to Herbert from a safe distance that they wanted a meeting with him about some business. 

"He said that he would be here at five. Before I ran away." 

They all started to laugh then choke on the smell. Bob sprayed air-freshener and lit some scented candles. This did nothing for the smell but intensify it. It was decided that they would set the meal up outside on a picnic table. 

Five o'clock rolled around and Herbert walked around the corner five minutes later. Bill Bob and Ben waited outside. Herbert waved as he came closer. 

"Hi boys so you have some business that you want me to take care of." 

His nose twitched in the air. 

"What is that god awful smell." then he started to reach. 

"sorry boys ill come back when that." 

He was stopped mid-sentence as he retched again. 

"Smell has." 

More retching noises came. The pig's hopes sank as they saw Herbert running away. He didn't finish what he was saying.

Now it was time for Bill's plan. The three pigs had a car but it was a nice one and the thought of crashing it was out of the question. They need about how they would cause a violent enough car crash without using their own car. The plan was that they would buy a banger and just smash into him head-on but jump out at the last minute. So the three pigs checked there banking apps. Bob had a grand total of seventy-two pounds and sixty-three pence. Bill had a whopping two hundred and forty-seven pounds and thirty-three pence. Now Ben shocked his brother's when he got his phone out and just showed them without saying anything. 

"TWO POUNDS FIFTY." squealed Bill in disbelief. 

", no one chipped in for the food. Plus the move has skint me," whined Ben. 

"You're useless," said Bob with a tone of a disappointment. 

They got out their calculators and worked out that they had three hundred and thirty-two pounds forty-six pence.

Bill grabbed the paper and started looking through the classified adds Bob got online and started looking through social media sites and Ben started ringing around car lots and scrap yards. 

After a few hours of searching. l wasn't finding anything in their budget and neither was Ben either on the other, on the other hand, odd leads. He had managed to find one for three hundred and fifty pounds it had two weeks mot left on it and was perfect for there needs. It was out of there budget but after some hard negotiations,t get it down to three hundred and twenty-five. They went and twenty-five that afternoon. It was clear from the moment they got in the car they had been robbed. Smoke was billowing out of the exhaust billowing black streams. There was also a loud knocking coming from the engine that sounded like a terminal illness. The way they saw it was that it was a one-use car so none of the issues mattered. They pulled the hoods upon their coats and started to drive around Herbert's turf. It didn't take long to find him he was sat at a red light waiting. Bob was driving down the road towards the junction. The three pigs were going to straight across in front of him. Bob slowed down until the light was on Amber he stamped down on the gas ready to smash into the side of Herbert. They were picking up speed the lights turned red and Herbert was setting off there was a loud bang from the engine and the car pulled to the right smashing into a street light. The three pigs panicked and got out and started to run away Herbert saw them. 

Herbert was sat at a red light waiting for it to change. When it turned green and he set off. At the same instant, he heard a car revving its engine. He looked to his right and saw a car speeding up towards him. He gulped then heard a loud bang and saw the same car swerve into a lamp post. Before he couldn't see the car anymore he saw three pigs get out and start running. 

The three pigs must have known it was me that robbed and killed there mum he thought. , I will get them tonight. 

Herbert wasn't the smartest of the wolves he thought that he was clever. His best idea had been to climb down people's chimneys to break in. As you can imagine it wasn't by the time he got to the bottom he left a trail of evidence. Subs had spent more time in prison than out. Not only did the police know every house he had ever broken into but news soon spread of his stupidity. 

Instead of getting on with his tasks for the day of selling knocked off goods, he went home and got his leaders and tools for breaking into the three pigs house. Once the ladders were strapped to the roof of his car and his tools in the boot he drove to the pigs house and pig's around the corner and waited for nightfall.

Herbert thinks while he waited and watched to see if the pigs were in before he started work. So that's why I could smell hot battery acid mixed with the other indescribable smells. They were going to poison me. The car that crashed was meant for me, not the lamp post, Well they have messed up too many times now it's my turn. 

As he sat there waiting he saw three pigs go running into their house pushing and shoving each other trying to get in first. 

Well, I know that they are in now just time to wait for dark. He set an alarm on his phone and closed his eyes. 

The three pigs burst into there house puffing and panting. Ben lead the conversation. They had all noticed Herbert noticing them after the fiasco with the car. They had also seen him parked around the corner of their house with his ladders on his roof. They got a large cooking pot and put it on the fire then preceded to put vegetables in the bubbling water. 

The sun was starting to set and the pigs sat around the fire. They tried to make things look normal from the outside. They turned the TV on and as it got darker they closed the curtains and switched on lights. Then when it got late they turned off all the lights. All the time making sure that the water was as hot as possible and as full as possible. They sat around the pot ready to push him back in case he tried to escape. The pot of death. As they were now referring to it. Around half an hour after all the lights went out they heard the front door handle being tried then the back. There was some mumbling followed by a clatter of ladders on the gutter. The pigs were looking at each other wondering how he hadn't been arrested while committing a burglary with all the noise he was making. 

They could then hear him scrambling around on the roof and more colourful language. Slates were getting knocked down and shattering on the floor. 

"The landlord is going to love that," said Bob. 

Then a plop went into the pot of death then a cloud of soot came down with a stream of profanities. He seemed to be taking forever Bill got up and looked up the chimney and got an eye full of wolf butt. Bill moved back quickly and quietly. Gesturing that the wolf was close. 

With a huge, the wolf landed in the pot of boiling water. Howling with fear and pain the wolf kept trying to get out of the pot but the pigs just pushed him back in. 

The three pigs trial lasted for two weeks. The jury took no time at all to come back deliberations. Some didn't believe that the pigs were guilty of murder attempted murder yes but not murder. It was the argument that erupted from them when they were called to the stand one by one. They all tried to blame each other. Bill blamed Bob Bob blamed Ben and Ben blamed them both. The final nail in their coffin was when Bob blurted out. 

"Why don't we eat his bill." In a whiny sarcastic voice. 

That was the end of there squabbling. They were sentenced to life without parole. 

Since there incarceration they had done OK for themselves in prison. The three of them were running the show. After years inside they started a new rumour that they were innocent. They made up a story that they were good little pigs set out in the world. When a big bad wolf destroyed two of there houses and I think we know how that one ends.