The Modern Housewife

Hi. I am Akansha. I’m 24. I’m a girl and in training to be a perfect housewife. But my thoughts and feelings have always been different than the average intelligence of a normal housewife. 

What’s so different from my thoughts right now? I always believed that men are no less than the lost tails we once had as monkeys and apes. This is kinda the revolting thought for my orthodox aunties and uncles of our family., especially now that I’m 24 and ‘need to get married’. Blasphemy. Why do we need men only for the sake of reproduction? Why can’t women be blessed to have the spectacular speciality of asexual reproduction, like some brilliant species of lizards? This teeny thought has put off my dad’s concern in my marriage. He doesn’t object to my opinion, but at the same time, he doesn’t completely support it. I admire that double talent of his.

Some of the grooms come to meet me for my alliance. They are the ones from various matrimony sites my relatives surfaced over the net on my ‘dad’s behalf’. The thing is I have all the qualities of a perfect wife (don’t mean to brag), it is the husband I’m most worried about. Some are charismatic but stupid. Some are intelligent but won’t care to look after their family. Some have the lowest IQ and the worst charisma you could have seen no offence. So why do we have to go with a man with a certain degree on his list for the sake of prosperity of family lineage? Why not go for adoption if you really want to proceed with your family? If I open this statement, trust me, you would have never witnessed a bigger world war than the one hoisted by my relatives.

And what is so great in my wife's abilities? 

“Oh look at you, can’t even light up the stove!”

“Oh, don’t you even know how to peel the onions?”

“Onions in the fridge?! Have you gone nuts?”

Yes, these are some of the many remarks I receive for my qualities of being perfect wife :) 

Ok, I am not all that perfect either. Maybe I do need someone to back me up in life…just a thought!

One day I was at my cousin's sister Adi’s house. She fitted the ‘perfect wife’ column perfectly. She knew how to cook, how to take care of her husband, and her kids, and how to wear her sarees. She would say wearing Sarees is the best way to bewitch her husband and keep him to herself, and not let him win the heart of another female. Sometimes I would be depressed at her burdens- if her husband really has the guts to follow another female than stay loyal to his wife, why does the wife have to be dependent on his shelter? Why can’t she take the kids in her care, abandoning him for good? Some questions are just too brilliant to be answered. If I ask this to Adi, she would laugh and change the subject.

She would serve breakfast, lunch and dinner right on time. She also loved to gossip with the aunties about the neighbouring families. Oh yes, she is their perfect wife after all. And I, the hopeless one.

But sometimes, when my relatives go too far in complaining about me, I silently weep myself to sleep. I would at times dwell in my soliloquy- if someone were there to comfort me like how my dad does, or if someone were there to cuddle me and wipe my tears, it would feel nice.

…

One day, a groom from some part of India I don’t precisely remember, came to seek my hand in marriage. For the first time, I could find no faults in a groom. He had a good charisma, a chivalrous gentleman, with the perfect qualifica

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tions of an engineer, a decent guy who could spend time at work and family equally. He was about to be promoted to the Manager position in his office. His name was Rahul. He smiled at me as I offered him coffee. He was looking straight in my eyes, no other groom had done. I could feel a tingling feeling- like butterflies in your stomach- but that’s nervousness, right?

As I stood by the corner of the wall, letting my dad and Rahul have the conversation, I could hear my aunts giggling and saying ‘Oh he is so handsome!’

I could feel something boiling in me. Why would I feel angry if someone else other than me calls him handsome?

The audience left myself and Rahul alone in the terrace to talk. I kept staring at the floor, wondering what to say.

“You are beautiful,” he started, with a smile. Is that all he felt about me?

“Thanks,” I mutter, not looking up.

“Are you scared?” He asks with a genuine concern.

“No, I’m nervous, kinda,” I chuckle lightly.

“Please, I’m not going to like gorge you up or anything,” he laughs. I could literally feel my aunts spying at us. I try to ignore them.

“I’m not very good at my chores, are you ok with that?” I ask, nervously.

“That’s fine, my mom will help you along the way…i mean if you uh agree to this.” He scratches his head, blushing cutely.

“You should be proud of yourself that we have come this far to talking, no other groom managed to pass the first test,” I laugh, keeping my hand on my mouth.

“Really?” He joins the laugh.

“What do you like about me?” I ask, looking up.

“You are gorgeous, like the lotus. Your eyes are like two deep pools I fear that I’d definitely drown if I dared to dive. There’s an attraction between us, luring me to you. That had never happened with the other brides I have come across. And I think, no, I know that I’m in love with you. I love you,” he emphasises, with the deepest sincerity in his voice.

I have tears in my eyes as I stare at him. I don’t know what made me jump into a hug with him. He nervously hugged me at first, but his grip strengthened later. He seemed confident.

With the courage mustering in my heart. I begin the questions. 

“Will you love your family like how much you love your work?” I ask.

“Certainly, that’s my speciality.” He smugly smiles.

“Will you take care of your kids without burdening your wife?” I smile, keeping Adi’s burdens in mind. He nods a yes.

“Will you love your wife loyally, truthfully, and madly, not going after another woman?” I ask, tears in my eyes, as I can feel Adi’s pressure of being a good wife.

Rahul comes closer to me, holding my elbows, lifting my chin, looking at me straight in the eye- like as a life-long promise like there was no other woman he could go after, he smiled and said yes.

Our marriage finally commenced in a spectacular way of grandeur. After the event, both Rahul and I were resting on the bed, me in his arms, watching TV. We weren’t focused on the shows but on each other. I nuzzled into his warm body, and his breath made me feel safe. 

Through Rahul, I found all the answers to life. Men may be as futile as we think, but they aren’t- at least not completely. If we find someone who is a better half of ourselves, we must cherish that. Sometimes, we may need someone to cuddle, to make ourselves comfortable in opening up, to fight like siblings, but at the same time be independent too.