I thought it was over: Part 2

The thought of Sujith wafted my head the other day. He was an interesting man. That’s when I realised I hadn’t asked much about him myself.

I remembered his ward number: no.7. I decided to pay a visit after Dr. Hoffen did his regular check up. As usual, there wasn’t any huge difference with me; why would there be? The cancer however was still dormant and wasn’t as viral as he had expected. Treatment could still be possible only if I contributed too.

I ignored the thoughts of my cancer for the first time. What mattered to me now was to see Sujith. I felt, I wouldn’t exist without him. But that’s just mere exaggeration, no?

I informed my nurse again before I left my cubicle. She said outside visits within the hospital quarters could really help my health. But we both know that’s not the case.

I reached ward no.7. It was just opposite to my door. I saw Sujith lying on the mattress- maybe I shouldn’t disturb him? But he noticed me staring through the glass. What’s with me and staring?! I sighed and opened the door.

“Hope I’m not disturbing?” I asked, still at the doorstep.

“No, not at all, please come,” he invited me as he settled himself on the seating position. I pulled myself a chair from nearby and sat down.

“It feels lonely without anyone here,” he started “I hate loneliness, but my cancer loves it. I feel when I’m alone, it devours every bit of me, taking advantage of the silence and absence outside,” 

“Sounds like you intend to survive through it,” I said with little sarcasm “Why do you give yourself false hopes?”

“Negativity is cancer’s greatest weapon. It can use every negative side you have to its strength. And I want to live to serve my country- I am a Major after all.” He revealed

“You are a Major? Well, that explains your attitude,” 

“I’m not being a survivor just for the sake of my reputation as a Major of the Indian Army. I intend to live, this world is a beautiful place,” 

I was silently admiring his perception on survival. But I didn’t show it.

“What about that scar on your forehead?” I dared to ask.

“I have narrated that story a million times to the children at an orphanage I usually visit- you think you can handle it?” He chided. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not a child,” 

He chuckled as he cleared his throat.

“It was sometime in the 19’s, I was the newly elected colonel at a posting in the Kashmir border. Ma wouldn’t let me go, but I insisted I would be fine. It was my dream after all. That day, when I arrived at Kashmir, we had a sudden unannounced attack. I was barely a colonel and all of this was all so sudden and new to me: I was never exposed to war. Airplanes bombed at our camps. Our comrades and I barely escaped, Soldiers were dropping down from their choppers and throwing grenades everywhere. One moment, I paused to find the Commander gravely injured and abandoned. He could survive, but the others were concerned of their own lives. I rushed towards him, checked his pulse: he was still breathing. His chest heaved up and down. His lips quivered, probably saying something, but I couldn’t buy enough time to hear. I lifted him up my shoulder, moving through the fog of smoke, I got to find us a safe spot where no bombs or grenades could reach. I tripped over a rock and hit my forehead, and a nearby boulder scratched through. But my pain didn’t matter at that time. I was lucky to have a bottle of water in my pocket; ma used to insist to take it wherever I go. I poured some water over his face and he regained consciousness. He gasped heavily.

‘Myra..’ he whispered. Myra was probably his wife. I checked his wallet he had in his pocket: Yes, Myra indeed was his wife. I had to bring him home.

Suddenly, everything stopped. The choppers were moving away. There were brave men wounded on the floor, and cowards who had ran away were safe and sound. I whistled and alerted them of the commander. Someone informed they had called the emergency helpline. Ambulances arrived soon. News of the attack helped the paparazzi get maximum TRP record. I was waiting at the hospital ward for the commander. Moments later, the doctor arrived and informed that he would survive. Critical but possible. His family had been informed too. I sighed in relief. The commander personally thanked me for aiding him; and said he owed me his life.”

I was listening in complete awe. His backstory kept me so engrossed I didn’t realise I was holding his hand. Looks like he noticed it and hadn’t said about it. I nervously took my hand away.

“Sorry, I was too into it,” I finally muttered, brushing away strands of my hair.

“No it’s fine, my story usually gives people the creeps,” he laughed slightly.

“Hmm,” I smiled. I was staring at him again; his hazel brown eyes kept attracting me. But I didn’t push too much and let it slide.

“At least you got to live to experience how your dream could be like,” I inhaled “I haven’t even started,” 

“I said it once and I say again; don’t let cancer choose your life, Suhana. You are still alive. You can still run your life;” 

“I wish I could believe it, but I don’t wanna believe it, I don’t want to die trying, Sujith,” I felt like crying “Being a writer has been my dream since I was a kid. Now when I’m at the age to start my career after my studies, cancer has entered my life,” 

“You have a seat, a pen and a paper. What more you want, is some motivation and inspiration. Come on, go for it! Everything is right before you, and you just have to say yes!” Sujith kept encouraging me. I couldn’t handle it.

“No, I can’t,” I whimper “What if things don’t go the way I want?”

“Life can be tough sometimes. But I promise I will be there with you through it all,” he smiled. I didn’t know I wanted that assurance. I just wanted support. Not positivity. Support.

… 

Sujith and I started to hang about more often. He came into my life like the wind. I started to see him as my muse to my writings. I could see again: the letters, the words. It was slowly coming back to me. 

We were now playing truth or dare. For some reason, both of us have been getting truth for a long time. Sujith shared some of his embarrassing moments that cracked me up. I revealed some of my emotional past. We both had a great bonding.

“Oh, it’s a dare this time!” Sujith shrieked “It’s for me though. You have to give me a dare,” 

“Hmm, I’ve got to think of a tough one!” I scrutinised “Before that, just a random question, do you have a girlfriend or anything?”

“No,” I could sense him blushing. I laughed.

“Then I dare you to kiss a girl you like from the hospital! Ha! I bet you wouldn’t be able to do that!” I said, clapping my hands together.

“Why wouldn’t I be able to do that? I’m a soldier, it’s a simple thing for me!” He was already nervous.

“Stop bragging and do it, brave soldier! I dared you! Find the girl you like and do it!” I was pumped up high. I was celebrating that he got my dare- it’s gonna be a fun show!

“I don’t have to find her,” he smiled. My laughter silenced as my face posed a confused expression. He leaned over to me, brushed away my hair, and pressed my lips against his. My heart was racing. My chest was heaving. My first kiss. It felt so surreal. I completely surrendered myself to it. Everything happening was sheer magic. He finally pulled apart. I was taking time to realise what had just happened.

It was that awkward silence filling the room again. How should we behave now? Are things going to be unusual like this? But every miracle takes time. It’s all about the wait.

“I should go back to my ward. My doctor would be waiting to check me again,” I try to clear the eerie moment between us. Sujith just nodded frantically.

“Y-Yes, sure,” 

… 

For a few days, we found it difficult to face each other like usual friends. My parents paid visit to me and I couldn’t get myself to introduce them to Sujith. I had to, someday, while I am still alive. Dr. Hoffen said I had a slight improvement in my mindset. My ma asked me if there was any sudden reason behind it. I just told her I got back to writing. She presumed it to be the good cause.

But I knew my reason for my existence was now Sujith. I would peek into Sujith’s cabin at sometimes; and he felt extremely lonely. I felt, he’s starting to think it was his fault. I should have visited.

I waited outside his ward and knocked softly on it. Sujith turned his head towards me and nodded his head allowing me to enter.

Neither of us spoke anything for quite sometime, I was about to speak… 

“I’m sorry. I know I forced you into it. I didn’t do it because of the dare, but I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time, for real, I just took it as my chance and finally did it. I’m really sorry,” his voice was cracking. Poor guy, really wanted love in his life. And I decided to give it to him, I leaned over to give him a short, sweet kiss. I made the magic repeat again. I was caressing his cheek, wiping away his falling tears. I finally pulled away.

“I love you, Major Sujith Maran,” I confessed, smiling “And nothing can change that, I promise,” 

He was beaming. He could feel his life flashing before him. He caressed my cheek, staring at me, as if he was ready to give me all the love he has. And I was finally ready to have the courage to live. To live for him.

…

Two months later 

Dr. Hoffen was examining my reports as he nodded “Great effort, Ms. Mehta, your probability to survival has increased by 1%! It’s really great! I don’t know how you manage to do it, given that you never attend any of our sessions, but i appreciate how you are improving now!”

Ma was in happy tears, and dad was in disbelief.

“H-How, beta?” My dad finally spoke. I think it’s high time I reveal to them about Sujith. I explained from the first time I met him at the aisle, to our new relationship. Ma was happy and accepted the fact of Sujith being my better half. She already loved his introduction and couldn’t wait to see him. Dad was still unsure. Dr. Hoffen told them Sujith was now undergoing checkup and could see him in their next visit. 

I felt so pumped up that day, I couldn’t hold myself without seeing Sujith. I wanted to tell him about today. I went to his ward and knocked at the door. In my excitement, I didn’t even see what was before me. The room inside was still empty. 

“Excuse me,” I asked a passing nurse “Where is patient Sujith Maran?”

“He is undergoing treatment for his leukaemia. It turned severe all of a sudden,” she informed.

I was starting to imagine the worst things possible. My world was crashing down. Would he come back to me? Would we become the family we dreamt of?

I couldn’t think of anything else. I sat outside the operation theatre, waiting for my life to come back.

The light finally turned green. I had my heart in my mouth. I saw the doctor coming in; you could never really judge the outcome by a doctor’s expression.

“Dr., how is Sujith? Is he fine?” I rapidly fired at him. The doctor slowly removed his surgical mask.

“He’s fine for now, thank goodness. Otherwise the cancer would have ate him up. He would have hardly survived,” he informed. I felt relieved. 

I ran inside the operation theatre. The doctor was yelling at me from behind probably to be careful but I didn’t care! I wanted to hug him tight! I saw him sleeping tired on the bed. He was alive, thank god!!

I softly moved towards him. I silently caressed his forehead, smiling. I laid my head against his chest. That’s when I felt something was strange. Frantically, I checked his pulse. N-no. I checked for his breath. N-no. N-no I mustn’t be checking right! I shook him to wake up.

“Sujith? Sujith?! Wake up, baby, please!” I yelled, tears from my eyes. I kept waking him up. He wouldn’t budge. I wanted to see his hazel eyes one last time. But I couldn’t. Not anymore. The doctor came rushing to the sound of my voice. He held his finger against his forehead.

“He was fine just a minute ago before I left!” That’s all the doctor said.

I cried. I cried until I could cry no more. He wanted to live. He became my reason to live. I was the one longing to die. I kissed his pale lips. He wouldn’t kiss back. He never said any last words to me. He cheated. He cheated!

I conveyed the news to my parents. Ma was devastated. Dad now looked like he lost all hope. But no. Sujith wanted me to live. He wanted me to write. And that’s what I was going to do. Yeah.

In another lifetime, I guess, we shall be together, love! My soldier is a fighter, not a quitter.

Thank you for reading! Do like and comment! Reviews are appreciated!