The Dilemma of Maharishi Nasuk

Maharishi Nasuk was contemplating while immersed in his private swimming pool in his million- dollar mansion at Liverpool. Thanks to his good wife and his father-in-law there was no dearth of money in his home, and he was above board as far as corruption goes, a disease which makes many a world leader succumb to its charm. Maharishi was the most recent and renowned among the descendants of rishis from the ancient yugas and was also of a sensitive nature. He was torn between his motherland and the country that brought him to limelight.

His elevation to the first man of his country was only the first step. There were many miles to go. The plan was made some hundred years ago. Accordingly, his granddad migrated to an African country where in his father grew up and later after marriage he had migrated to his present country. Given the best of education he didn’t feel strange in being a bedfellow with money. Now that at a personal level he didn’t have any need for money he has the task cut out to free his country from economic burden.

A deeper agenda was to pay debts to the mother country. According to an erudite politician who was thorough with the economics of the colonial loot of the mother country it was running to about 50 trillion dollars. It could not be repaid easily. But what if a reverse colonialism were to happen? The way the mother country’s population was growing, the country was slated to become the most populated country in a year or two. Every sixth citizen in the globe would be of mother country’s origin. His country had already a size-able colonial cousins. The process has to be speeded up. How this can occur he wondered! 

He looked in the direction of East and scooped a palm full of water and offered to it to the Sun god while chanting a Hindu mantra. 

His brother-in-law was a divorcee now. Why can’t he find a suitable British girl for him? After marriage she can settle down in India and practise the colonial culture. Then he thought if his mother country were to become a viswa guru Hindi won’t do. It has to be English. For this to happen the cow belt in the northern part of his mother country has to become well versed in English. He could start an exchange program by sending English teachers to the cow belt. His country’s citizens have to become well versed likewise in Hindi in anticipation of the fact that every twelfth citizen in the world would be speaking Hindi sooner or later. It would offer his country men and women first mover advantage. Hindi teachers from the cow belt could be settled in his country. He has to make concessions to such people. Paan spitting should be made legal in his country. One may also permit open defecation in the countryside. Streets should be allowed to degrade and have as many potholes as possible. This would make colonial cousins feel at home in the English country. 

Sometime around in 2024 just before the parliament election in the mother country he could render an apology for the colonisation. That doesn’t cost a penny to start with. It would make the mother country appreciate the gesture never mind whoever comes to power. Then the next step could be that Kohinoor diamond the symbol of colonial loot could be given back to the mother country. 

Of course, in all these calculations he was counting on the procreation capacities of the Hindi teachers from the cow belt. Free Viagra could be supplied as part of the compensation package. He went blue at this idea. A few decades from now the mother country descendant will become the dominant population in this country if calculations go right as estimated. Then the fifty-five trillion- dollar debt doesn’t matter any-more.

Suddenly his reverie got broken by a loud splash in the pool. He realized it was a cricket ball from the neighbouring ground. Someone has hit a huge six aka Chris Gale style. That also reminded him of the immediate problem in hand. Latest points table showed that it was highly likely that India face England in the T-20 cricket world cup final. His true saffron colour would be exposed. Once again, he scooped some water and poured it in the pool facing east and chanting some mantras. He prayed for not an England-India finals. Indira, the rain God, got offended as he felt Maharishi didn’t offer his prayers to him but to Sun and shut himself off in his chambers. England beat SriLanka as it didn’t rain that evening. The prospects of England-India final became even better.