The Cabinet of Ideas

It was the best of the times for bhakts and worst of the times for the rest. On the one hand, the alien cabinet king had already entered the country with a slew of IKEA cabinets. But on the other hand, the king in question was disappointed with his old cabinet of ministers from whom no knew idea was forthcoming. So, he called for a meeting of his cabinet dwelling ministers and said it is now clear that good times are not going to come soon but can we ensure at least we don’t slide into bad times. “Any ideas? From you” he asked.

The fading Chanakya added we need Ikea like ideas that would further our philosophy and also generate revenue. We need to spend money instead of our time. I am short of ideas for new distractions and now it is the question of economy which is not normal. ‘Aditya not’ to be outdone suggested that a double whammy for our dear minority friends in the form of beard and family-size tax. My state coffers would become full of money and my trillion-dollar dream could be realised. Without ‘UP’ping our state economy India would not realise her dream. “Not a bad start’ commented the father of all ideas.

Why not a non-bhakt tax said the famous Girbullraj Singh. That would make nearly 65% of our population liable to pay this tax and our cabinets would be full.

We should also levy a “right to piss tax” targeting our men folks. If nothing else the money collected could be plough backed to keep the city cleans.

How about a ‘protest tax’ the p(iy)ushy minister who put the jeff the boss in place. Of course it was a different matter if he had to swallow the crow later. Considering the mood all over the country this tax should generate the right amount of revenue.

The cabinet which kept all the infrastructure suggested road pothole tax but on the municipality. It is a win-win situation. If the potholes do not get filled then we get a fee. If potholes get filled at-least it would kick start the infrastructure building. Btw I estimate that we need capacity in crores of people for detention centres. Or we shut down some universities and convert them for the same purpose.

The “law’fable minister wondered what if the states ruled by opposition file a petition in the SC under Article 113 against all our proposals?

The fading Chanakya said the SC consists of “all the PM’s boys” and they have not been crossing the Laxman Rekha. Our CJI would come with a quotable quote about how to mass balance the judgement between minority rights and government’s governance rights.

The Father of all ideas noted that the cabinet of cash still had creases on her forehead and he looked askance at her.

She said “our economy has become a bottomless pit” we need the ‘Akshaya Patra’ and I have asked our archaeology department to trace it out somehow.” That alone can save us.

The Father of all ideas said to call the Director and tell him no budget constraints for this exercise. In case we fail I suggest we reserve a dwelling with Nityananda’ abode. I heard it is quite wooded and peaceful.

Then he concluded the meeting.