Sholay- Reloaded for Corona Times

If Sholay was to be shot in the Corona times it would be something like this.

 

 

Opening Shot

Gabbar Singh takes his 2G phone out and is moving around the area trying to get a signal.

Samba, who is watching him asks, “Sardar kya hua?”

Gabbar, “Arre woh inspector ka phone aya tha, but signal nahi mila. Yeh mobile service akdam baakwas hai!”

Samba, “Sardar, last year jab mobile wale, tower lagane aye tha, toh apne hei unke 2 admi kill kar diye the. No one is keen to come now.”

While they are talking, there is some commotion behind them. Gabbar turns around and sees Kalia and his two friends walking towards them, badly beaten up and with torn clothes.

Gabbar, trying to control his anger, “Kitne admi the?”

Kalia sullenly replies, “Sardar, you know Jai aur Veeru ka ghar is in containment zone? With social distancing it was difficult to know the number I think there were 2….”

Gabbar angrily puff up his chest, “tum teen or woh do, Phir be…

“Excuse me”, one of beaten thugs stops Gabbar in full flow, continues, “I saw Thakur also.” The other pipes in says, “Han Basanti was there.” “Yes” says the first guy, “I saw Dhanno also.”

Gabbar plucking his beard angrily, yells, “Suwar ke baccho, Dhanno toh ghodi hai!”

Samba, who has a bit of rivalry going on with Kalia, pipe in, “Sadar, yeh toh dus log the, who went to Jai and Veeru’s place.”

Gabbar, looking askance, “dus?”

Kalia, looking daggers at Samba replies, “Sardar, you know that we had to walk to their place. Thanks to Meneka Gandhi, we cannot ride our horses and about the second hand jeep that you bought from your friend, less said the better.”

Anyway, there is section 144 in containment areas. When we reached there, police caught us and while we were trying to get away, the villagers beat us up, thinking that we were the cause of Corona virus.”

 

Samba pouring oil on the fire says, “Sardar, hafta toh jata hai.”

Gabbar, like a drowning man grasping at straws, pipe up at Kalia, “Haan hafta toh regular hai.”

Kalia, who is the treasurer as well and was fleecing Gabbar, raising hand and in weary voice answers, “Sadar, demonetization ke baad ye Corona virus hum jaase MSME businesses ke liya bahut khraab hai. Business down hai. Opex is also not recovered.”

 

Samba going for the jugular, administering the coup de gras, “Sardar, last week, Kalia looted Dhaana seth’s son’s wedding.”

Gabbar looking daggers at Kalia.

Kalia replies, “Sardar, you know that in Corona, only 50 people are allowed in a wedding procession. When we reached the place, walking by the way, police stopped us. Only 5 of us were allowed in the party. When we stopped the party and looted them, we found only masks, gloves and sanitisers. People use Paytm and Phone Pe for gifting and we found only Rs. 5000/- (Actual figure was 50,000/-). I gave the inspector, Rs. 2500/-.”

Gabbar is completely nonplussed and is seriously thinking of giving up the life of crime and becoming a farmer, given the various schemes announced by the Govt. Just then the mobile in his hand rings.

He looks and it the inspector calling.

Gabbar, “Hello saab?”

Inspector yelling, “@###$%%, mera share khaata hai? Thakur ne 1 Khoka supari de hai. We are coming, aaj tera encounter bajaige!” and cuts the phone.

Gabbar completely frustrated looks at his gang of misfits and in rage pulls out his revolver and …. Bang, shoots himself in his head.

Sadly, Sholey would not have been completed, today.