Secrets of a successful marriage (Prompt 7)

Neha had moved away from the stage once the line of guests, awaiting to click a memory with the newly wed couple, had diminished. She wore a maroon gown which was embroidered from head to toe with threads of gold. Neha was collapsing under the heavy burden of the dress. The gold ornaments that adorned her heavily powdered face did not make things any easier. She could sense Viraj walking towards her. His fancy wedding shoes, which must be biting him, made his approach obvious.

   ‘What’s the matter, love? Tired already?’ His voice carried the innocence and exuberance of a child. Standing behind her, he held her arm.

   Neha glanced back at Viraj. He was looking as dashing as ever. Even more so in traditional wear. The white sherwani fit him perfectly and with the maroon cloak, matching to her gown, together, they looked like a dreamy couple.

   ‘We have been standing for hours. I wish you had to wear this lehenga. You would have understood it then.’ Neha sounded a little frantic.

Viraj was a little taken aback. He still had a slight smile on his face but his eyes seemed careful and surprised.

‘I am sorry Viraj. I know I should be happy and all. But it’s just too much to take. Standing on the stage, waiting for strangers to greet you and congratulate you. Smiling all the while, even when you don’t want to. I am really tired. I haven’t had anything to eat since morning and I am pretty sure that I will fall from exhaustion if I carry this lehenga for another minute.’

‘Just a bit longer babe. It’s almost over.’ Viraj said, sounding compassionate.

‘But I am afraid it isn’t. Isn’t marriage in itself a pretense, like this function? What’s to become of our lives? Won’t we keep adjusting to ensure the other person is happy? Or worse yet, to ensure that strangers are happy? Won’t we have to compromise on our careers, our personal liking and disliking? I would have to pretend to be a pristine daughter-in-law so that your parents can show me off to the others. I won’t become a piece of art! I know how you hate being told what to do. Will you listen to me when I tell you to shut off your video games or to spend more time with me instead of running off with your friends?’

‘But I will.’ Viraj said defensively. ‘We are in love. I love you. I would do anything you ask of me. Even if I have to go out of my way. Love conquers all.’

‘I don’t think so, Viraj. You saw Gauri today. She looked so gloomy. She had come alone. Apparently, Samir has left her. They are separating. Only after two years!’

‘So? We are not them, love? Why do you think you will end up like her?’

‘Because they were in love. He loved her, Viraj. More than you love me. He used to climb our hostel building and sneak into her room just to ensure she ate her dinner. He sent her a rose every day when they were away from each other. He fought his parents for her. And then just like that, their love died. Won’t the same happen with us?’

Neha was trembling slightly. Viraj kept a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it in a comforting way.

‘First of all. No one in the world loves another as much as I love you. And secondly and more importantly I always will love you that much. No problems or issues will be able to stand against our love. We will be happier than my Jalandhar uncle and his wife and much more in love with each other.’

‘Jalandhar uncle?’ Neha asked, trying to remember if she had met them.

‘The old couple! The one who had come up on stage right after my parents. The man with white hair but bald from the center. He was wearing a bow tie.’ Neha still couldn’t remember and she shook her head in confusion. ‘Aunty was wearing a green top and wore a shiny, thick gold necklace around her neck.’

‘Ohh! The one with that beautiful necklace. Why didn’t you say that to begin with?’ Viraj smirked.

‘Are they the best couple you know?’ Neha asked.

‘Yes. Very much so. Every time I meet them, they seem so much in love. They dance at every function. They danced today, I think. Aunty always acts embarrassed and blushes. Uncle always acts macho and ends up displaying his love for her, not so subtly.’

‘Then let’s meet them. Let’s ask them the secret of their marriage. Maybe if we do the same I don’t have to worry about anything else.’

‘Isn’t my love enough?’ Viraj asked, a bit despondently.

‘Let’s ask them.’ Neha’s usual chirpiness was back. The weight of her gown didn’t bother her anymore, for now.

Viraj and Neha were asked to retire to their room before the start of the pheras. This was the opportune moment.

The newlyweds decided to meet them one at a time. It was decided that Neha would talk to the aunty and Viraj would talk to the uncle. To ensure none of them missed any important points, Viraj would be hidden in the room while Neha talked to the aunty and vice versa.

On the pretext of having a drink together, Viraj’s friends brought his Jalandhar uncle to the room and exited one by one making some or the other excuse, until finally Viraj was left alone with his uncle. Neha hid under the bed, unknown to the intoxicated uncle.

‘So uncle? How’s everything?’ Viraj tried to find a way to ask what he actually wanted to.

‘I am so happy for you son. I still remember you as a little boy. I can’t believe you are married.’

‘Haa! I can’t believe either uncle. Were you the same age when you got married?’

‘I was a couple of years younger, beta. But you know how it was. In those days, people married earlier.’

‘Wow! You must be papa’s age. So approaching forty years of married life then?’

His uncle smiled. ‘Already crossed forty, son. I will be celebrating my forty-third anniversary in a few months.’

‘You must really love aunty. Even after so long you both seem so much in love.’

His uncle chuckled. He wove a hand over his bald head. ‘I do love her. A lot.’ He gulped a large sip of whisky.

Viraj noticed his uncle getting a touch uncomfortable. He spoke his next words carefully. ‘I was wondering if you could tell me how to live a successful married life. Since you seem to have all bases covered.’

His uncle looked at him strangely. ‘Didn’t you ask your father, beta? He would have surely given you any, and all the important pointers.’

‘Not really. You know a son can’t really talk to his father about these things. The relationship between us is a little weird.’

This made his uncle laugh loudly. ‘I know. I have the same kind of relationship with my son.’

‘So any tips for the groom?’ Viraj asked, sounding casual.

His uncle toppled the remaining whisky and banged the empty glass loudly on the side table. ‘Marriages can’t work without love. If you do love her, then I don’t see anything troubling the both of you.’

Viraj smiled, vindicated. Only to further his point, so that Neha doesn’t discredit his uncle’s point later, he asked, ‘Is love enough?’

His uncle looked thoughtful for a moment. His drowsy, drunk eyes overcame the intoxication and stared at Viraj. ‘Okay! I will tell you my secret. But don’t tell this to your aunty.’ Viraj nodded.

‘Once you both are over the wedding dazzle and resume with your normal lives, you will notice that things will seem out of order. When two people start to live together, each of them will want to enforce his own living habits on the other. Most of these things go unnoticed at the start of any marriage, but the more time you spend with each other, the more you start to notice these things. Now women, especially, love to take charge. They would buy the furniture and the utensils and the cutlery. The carpets, the curtains, the fabrics on the sofa. Even the toothpaste brand would be decided by them. They would do all the work and if you interfere, even with the best of intentions, you would be whooped. It is best to stay away. But do not make the mistake of staying away too long. Because if they notice you lying on the sofa, watching television or playing video games and lazing around, be sure to expect a backlash, worse than the worst dressing-down you would have ever received.’

His uncle paused and poured another glass of whisky. ‘Do the small things. The things which she would have missed or not thought of. For example, if she’s washing the utensils, wipe them off. If she’s washing the clothes, put them out to dry. But never, mind you, take credit for these things. Do them as if you get joy in doing such things. And always, always, thank her.’ He gulped down half the glass in one swallow.

‘If you are able to follow these tips, you will definitely lead a happy married life.’

The door to the room opened then. Neha’s mother was standing right outside. She was searching for Neha. She made a face when she saw Viraj drinking with his uncle. She made her way out, making an excuse which Viraj hardly understood.

‘I should get going, beta. I am quite sure the bride’s family will send someone to rescue you from my villainous company.’ He finished his drink and left the room, wishing Viraj on his marriage.

Neha came out from under the bed, slapping away the unseen dirt from her lehenga.

‘That was enlightening.’ she said. ‘I never expected someone from your family to be so smart.’

‘Neither did I.’ Viraj replied.

‘I better go find my mother. Don’t know what she wanted. I will be back in a few minutes with your aunty. Better make yourself scarce.’ Neha said as she zoomed out from the room.

Viraj finished what was left of his drink and against his wishes made his way under the bed, awaiting the return of his bossy wife.

It did not take her a long time. Viraj could hear Neha’s voice. There was another woman with her. Viraj could see her feet.

‘Thank you so much, aunty, for helping me.’ Neha said.

‘Oh! It’s no problem beta. You are family.’ the other woman said. Viraj did not remember his aunt’s voice but it was most likely her.

‘I love your necklace. It’s so beautiful.’ Viraj heard Neha saying.

‘What! This old thing. Viraj’s uncle gave this to me on our thirtieth anniversary. It’s more than ten years old.’

‘Uncle must love you very much to gift you such an expensive necklace.’

No words were exchanged.

‘I just hope Viraj is as romantic as uncle.’ Neha continued.

‘Oh! Don’t you worry. He comes from a long line of romantic men. I am sure he would always look out for your best interests.’

After a long pause, Neha continued, ‘I was hoping you could give me some tips on how to be a good wife. I hope you don’t mind me asking you.’

‘No! Not at all. I am all for helping a new bride settle. It can be overwhelming, when you leave the comforts of your own home.’

There was silence again. Viraj heard tiny grunts from Neha. They had definitely undertaken some devious task which was taking a long time.

‘The first thing you should understand,’ Viraj’s aunt started, ‘about men is that they love to laze around and do nothing. If the world were to burn today and the men were not in any danger, they would rather sit and watch. Ironically, and this is the best part, they want to feel needed. So if you go to them with some tasks, they would make a big deal about it and make you think that they put in a lot of effort to complete the said task.’

There was silence again. Viraj was feeling squeamish under the bed. But he dared not jump out.

‘Their ego is the size of the universe, ever expanding. If you chide them for lazing around or not helping, they would take offence and instead of improving on their mistakes would lash onto you.’

Suddenly Neha shrieked. ‘I am sorry beta. Did the needle hurt you?’

‘I am fine, aunty.’ Neha replied.

After a few moments had passed, Neha asked, ‘So how do I make sure that both of us stay happy in the marriage?’

‘The secret of it is to leave petty tasks to them. Tasks, which will feel them needed and even if they do it wrong, will not damage a great deal or infuriate you. To keep the man happy, you must goad his ego. And once he is happy, you will reap the fruits. Most people tend to think that making them guilty is the way to go. But, heed me, it is short lived. Men resent humiliations for a long time. They hate confrontation.’ 

Viraj’s aunt made a hurrah sound. ‘There. It’s done. Oh my! You look so pretty. Our Viraj really is quite lucky.’

Neha thanked her profusely and walked her to the door. Once she closed the door, Viraj didn’t waste another moment under the bed. He crawled out as fast as he could.

‘Come. We are late. We need to get to the pavilion.’ Neha said, holding Viraj’s hand. 

Before Viraj could say anything, Neha had dragged him out of their room. A sparse crowd stood near one of the dome shaped halls which definitely housed the pavilion.

‘So what do you think? Did you discover the secret to a successful marriage?’ Viraj asked Neha, as they were walking towards the hall.

‘Haa! I did. But I feel bad for your uncle and aunty. They have no idea, do they?’

‘If they did, I don’t think their marriage would have lasted this long.’ Viraj said, tightening his grip around Neha’s hand.

Neha gestured to Viraj to look to his right. He saw his uncle and aunty standing under an artificial frame decorated with orchids and carnations. His aunt was holding a bouquet of roses and they were standing close together, with their heads resting on each other, posing for a photograph. Viraj imagined little hearts floating out from their heads. They seemed so much in love, when all they had done was manipulate each other throughout their lives.