Saviours In Service

I'm Veronica. I'm a doctor in '100 years' hospital. I have two daughters. The elder one is in class six and the younger one is four years old. I haven't seen my family for ten months now. The year 2020 changed my life. Two of my patients who were under my care for a week tested positive for covid-19. I was extremely upset. I knew that I wouldn't be allowed to step out of the hospital. I informed the news to my family. They were devastated. I requested my mom to take care of my daughters. later that night, I got a call from my mother. my daughters were in tears they yearned to see me but, I knew it wouldn't be possible. I was soon shifted to the covid department and was asked to treat the covid patients. I couldn't refuse; I might be a mother but, I'm a doctor too. From that day on my life took a turn. As a mother, I miss my daughters so much. I often cry thinking of them. every day and night I watch my patients suffer. I'm a doctor but, I'm not able to save the lives of my patients. my guilt tears me into pieces. I really don't remember when did I last sleep. I sit by my patients treating them all night. sometimes when I get a chance to sleep, the thought of my daughters and my dying patients does not allow me to. I'm too tired. I'm not sure, I might be infected by the virus too. A doctor has arrived to help me out during the night.

 I feel tears rolling down my cheek as I close my eyes to sleep. "doctor, doctor" I hear the nurse scream. I run up to her. one of my patients is suffocating. I try my best to save her. she's holding my coat tight. Her hands fall off. she's dead. I fall hard on my knees. I can't control myself any longer. I cry out loud. It's 3 am. I hear my phone ring. I know it's a call from my daughter who couldn't sleep thinking of me. I'm not in the state of speaking to anyone.

 Although I'm depressed I walk forward to change my uniform and treat the next patient.

It's 8 am now. I get a call from my mother. my daughters are waiting to speak to me. I pick up the phone. I try hard not to burst out. my daughters are in tears. I try consoling them. I hear the nurse calling out to me. "I'll call you back," I say as I hear my four-year-old scream out "mummy". A patient is to be admitted but, there are no beds left. I can no longer watch my patients die. I ask the helper to get my bed, which was given to me while I stay in the hospital. I don't mind sleeping on the floor. 

It's just afternoon and I'm already tired. I haven't eaten anything for a week now. I walk out to the canteen to have my lunch. Just as I'm about to eat, I hear loud cries. A middle-aged woman is mounting the death of her family. They were my patients. I bent down with guilt as she slid her eyes over me. I couldn't eat anymore. I walk back to my department to make necessary arrangements for the newly admitted patients. I hear my phone ring. The patient looks at me teary-eyed. "please save me first." that's what the eyes say. I ignore the call. The patient is relieved. My heart mourns. It's been almost a month since I spoke properly to my daughters. 

I feel really sick. I pray for my good health. I've got hundreds of lives to save and two young girls to care for. I drink warm water from the canteen. I don't have any other facilities to save myself from the virus. It's almost 3 pm. I walk to my bed to sleep and I realize that I don't have one. I just lie down on the floor. It's too cold. I pick up my phone to call my daughters, but, what if they're asleep?! I slide into social media to check on the lockdown but, instead of that, I see hundreds of posts against doctors and nurses. They read, "Doctors are money-minded" "Doctors and nurses are least bothered about their patients." "If I was a doctor I wouldn't have cared about my life, unlike the doctors who are in charge of covid patients." "Nurses are so selfish that they ignore their patients and talk all day long to their family." "Doctors are in the hospital for free food.".

I throw my phone hard on the floor. They think doctors are robots. whatever they might say, my patients know how well I care for them. my family is well aware that I've risked my life. sometimes people don't have even a little bit of empathy.

 I try to sleep. "Doctor! doctor! please come here!" the nurse exclaims.