Pretend Hero

Alex watched as his lover took the first steps into the rest of their lives. He should have been happy, they are reaching the end of their journey, the epic quest that would -supposedly- decide the fate of their world. No more fighting or risking his life, there would be no more sharing a sleeping bag and drifting off as Daniel told him about the stars; he always wanted to be an astronomer. Their journey ended here; in a dusty old house that looked like it would collapse at any moment and smelled like a horde of wild animals would stay there. “Hey,” Alex walked up behind Daniel and grabbed him by the shoulder. “Are you sure about this? You know what that witch said. If you do this you will die.” 

Daniel turned with a smile and took his partner's hand in his with a confident grip. “Of course I remember, Alex,” Daniel patted his hand. “Now is not the time to get cold feet. Everything will be fine once this is over. Trust me.” Daniel let go of his hand and brushed aside a strand of black hair that constantly fell out of the ponytail Alex kept it in. Smiling, Daniel turned to the wide set of double doors, decorated with foreign symbols. They didn’t belong to this century. “Besides,” Daniel shrugged and ran his fingers over the symbols carved into the wooden door. “Have I ever led us astray?”

“Bolivia.”

“That was a bad lead. This time is different. I can feel it, Alex.” Daniel pushed open the doors, the smell of stale air and mildew overwhelmed them. Alex gripped the handle of his gun, expecting an ambush to pop out of the pitch-black room at any moment.

“Daniel, let me go first,” Alex whispered, taking his place in front of Daniel. He didn’t protest, Alex always knew better about traps and fighting than he did, he just never got the hang of it.

Before they stepped into the room, Alex shrugged off the bag he was carrying. “Get the flashlight. We aren’t going in blind.” 

Daniel nodded, not that Alex saw, he didn’t look away from the dark, he trusted Daniel to do what he said after being together so long. Daniel, after a few brief moments of looking in the bag, pulled out the flashlight.

“Got it.” Daniel stood beside Alex, who glanced at him and smiled. Daniel turned on the flashlight, dimly showing them parts of the room. Alex returned his focus to the room. They weren’t sure what to expect. Maybe an ambush, maybe some large demon and giant warning signs telling them to turn back, but there was nothing. Just a long hallway and stone walls with water clinging to them. “See,” Daniel handed Alex the flashlight and wiped his palms on the front of his dirty pants, “nothing to worry about.” He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. “You should relax more.” Daniel pushed past Alex as he was putting away his gun and stepped into the room, the darkness swallowing him. 

“Wait…shit,” Alex fumbled while grabbing the bag before he decided to abandon it. “Daniel, wait, you can’t even see where you’re going! You gave me the flashlight.” Alex ran after Daniel, once he entered the room the torches lining the wall flickered to life and ignited with a burst of green flames, illuminating the room. The sound of rumbling echoed across the previously empty space and dust got kicked up around them. Both Alex and Daniel turned, searching for the source of the loud sound. Alex drew his gun once more and pointed it to the end of the hall. As the dust settled they saw the floor extended and grew into stairs. At the top of the stairs was a large platform and a podium.

“Oh my gods,” Daniel exclaimed, staring at the floating crystal on the podium. Even at the distance they were, they could tell the gem outshined any depictions they'd seen of it thus far. The gem shone with the same green glow as the flames on the wall and on its surface were swirling black patterns that never stood still even for a moment. “This is it.” Daniel placed his hand on Alex's wrist and pushed the gun down until it pointed to the floor.

“Daniel, wait,” Alex put his gun away, “I have a bad feeling about this.” Alex watched as Daniel ignored him and walked further into the room. “Maybe we should heed the witches' words and turn back. We can come back when we have a better plan.”

“What?” Daniel scoffed as he walked up the steps, shrugging off Alex's concern. “We have a plan, a good plan, we aren’t turning back. Look how close we are, how far we’ve come! Nothing is going to stop me now. Especially not since my very own knight in shining armor fought so hard to get us here.” Daniel grinned and turned his head to see if Alex was following him, he was. “I’m serious, where would I be without you?”

“Probably dead,” Alex grumbled, his eyes never leaving the back of Daniel's head. He hadn’t noticed how dirty Daniels' hair had gotten, the red hair clumped together and tangled from days of sweating and sleeping on the ground. 

“What would make you think that?” Daniel gasped in mock offense.

“Utah.” 

Daniel stopped on the last step before he reached the long platform. “I tripped,” he whispered in awe and quickly wiped away any tears before Alex had a chance to notice them. This was it, he knew it was, and everything was going as planned for once. Daniel stepped onto the platform, followed by Alex, his heart thudding against his chest. He was going to cross the podium, he was going to grab the gem, but Alex stepped in front of him. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Daniel's breath caught in his throat as he looked around the room for danger. When he found none he let out a sigh and his shoulders sagged. “Everything is fine, Alex. Come on, you need to move.” 

When Alex ignored him Daniel let out a nervous chuckle. “What are you doing? Stop it.” Daniel attempted to sidestep the man that stood between him and his destiny. “Alex, I’m not joking now, get out of my way.” He tried to gently nudge Alex, but he wouldn’t budge. All he did was stare, holding the same expression he usually reserved for the more complicated puzzles.

“Why?”

The seriousness of Alex's voice rendered Daniel speechless. Anytime he opened his mouth to answer no words would come out.

“Why should I move, Dan?” 

“Because it’s my time!”

Alex’s gaze narrowed, and his questioning quickly turned into an act of defiance. Daniel took a deep breath, preparing himself for the argument he knew was coming.

“Because it’s my destiny.”

Alex was never one to believe in destiny and that ideology only grew when they met the witch. He took any chance he could get to remind Daniel how ridiculous he believed this destiny business to be, and Daniel would tell him how silly he was acting and then change the subject; it was their thing.

“And because of some bullshit destiny you think you have you…you what? Expect me to watch you sacrifice yourself? You just want me to stand here and watch you die?”

“Yes!”

“And why? Why should I?”

“Because that’s your destiny, Alex. You stand there! Beside me, behind me, I don't care. You stand and watch me die, it’s not stopping me from fulfilling mine.”

“So what?” Alex scoffed, his arms folded across his chest, “how do we even know if destiny is real?”

Daniel sighed, and his hand ran over his face. “Look, can we not do this now? The stone is right there. So just, please, let me do this.” Satisfied that the conversation was over, he shoved past Alex. 

As Daniel reached for the stone Alex grabbed his wrist and turned him around, switching their positions. The brilliant green glow was once again blocked from Daniel's sight. Now all he saw was Alex's dirty face cast in shadows. The way it framed Alex's brown eyes gave him a dark look. A look that made Daniel grit his teeth and his cheeks turn red.

“If not now then when, Daniel? After you grab the stone? After everybody is saved? After you’re fucking dead?”

“What the fuck? Stop being a dick!” Daniel ripped his hand away from Alex, stumbling just a bit as he did.

“No,” Alex didn’t bother raising his voice to match Daniels as he normally would have. “You always speak of destiny, you said mine was standing to the side and watching you die. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe this is my destiny. Right here, right now, standing between you and that thing.” Alex jerked his head in the direction of the stone.

“That thing, as you so eloquently put it, is the only thing that can help us. Save us, save them!” Daniel gestured wildly to the door they walked through just moments before. 

“I don’t care about them!”

“I do!” Daniel sighed and ran his fingers through his tangled hair. “I care about them, Alex.” Daniel searched Alex’s gaze hoping to find the reason for his action. His mind looked back over their nights spent together, all their laughter, and found nothing. “We both know what needs to be done. Now, please, step out of my way, let me end this.” Daniel took Alex’s hand and brought his scarred knuckles to his lips then kissed them before he passed Alex and went for the glowing stone, again.

Alex watched as Daniel chose the rock over him once more and when he spoke again his voice cracked. “Why does it have to be you? Why do you have to sacrifice everything for them? Nothing has happened yet, we have nobody to fight. Maybe you grabbing the stone is what makes everything go wrong in the first place. Please, come back with me, we are the only people who know where the stone is. Please.”

“We don’t know that, Alex,” Daniel whispered. “We need to be ready. They need a hero.”

Alex turned and grabbed Daniel’s hand, tugging on it. “Why is it always you? For once think past duty, think past everyone else, is this what you want?” Alex’s voice wavered as Daniel turned to face him, tears welled up in his eyes. “What do you want?”

Daniel rested his forehead against his lover's, Alex let go of Daniel's wrist to grab his shoulders and squeeze. “Of course, this isn’t what I want,” Daniel chuckled and wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist. “Is that what you think? I don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave you. To tell the truth, I have no idea if fate or destiny is real, but if there is the slightest chance that my death could mean you will be safe, everybody could be safe, I have to take it.” 

“But if you don’t leave with me then you’ll die. Someone else can do this, anybody else. Not you. Come with me.” Alex pleaded.

“I have to do this,” Daniel whispered, cupping Alex’s cheeks. “If I hide to save my life, then my life will have meant nothing.”

Alex leaned into Daniel's touch and let out a sigh. “I know,” he closed his eyes as a few tears leaked out. Alex kissed Daniel's forehead, then his cheeks as Daniel let him go. “I know,” finally he gave one last kiss to Daniel's lips. “But I can’t let you die.”

“Alex?”

He leaned in close to Daniel's ear and whispered a quick, “forgive me,” before sweeping Daniel’s legs out from under him and pushing his weight down just enough for Daniel to lose his balance and fall. Before Alex could think to regret it, or Daniel had a chance to regain his senses, Alex grabbed the stone.

“Alex,” Daniel scrambled to his feet as an unearthly scream ripped itself from Alex’s lips. The green light, once connected to the gem, fractured into pieces. The patterns on its surface snaked up Alex’s arm to encompass his entire body and carved itself through layers of flesh and bone. Alex’s entire being was bathed in light as all the flames in the room died out, leaving him as its only light source. Throughout the process, Alex never stopped screaming and Daniel never stopped crying.

“Come on!” Daniel tried to reach him, to push past the invisible force intent on keeping them apart, and failed. Visions of Alex filled his senses; he could feel Alex’s touch like a phantom limb as if it was the first and last time he would ever feel him. He could smell Alex’s scent as if he never left Daniel's side. “Just let go! You can’t do this, it's supposed to be me! I’m supposed to die! Let go, please!” Almost as soon as the words left his mouth the light disappeared from Alex’s body, casting the room in darkness.

“Alex?” Daniel called into the endless void, waiting, hoping for a response. He lowered himself to his knees, his hands running over the metal of the platform to give him a sense of stability. For a few moments, there was nothing, then there was light. Once his vision corrected itself, Daniel started looking for Alex. He didn’t have to look hard, Alex rested on the platform, right in front of the podium. He was crumpled like a broken doll, unmoving. “Alex!” Daniel crawled on hands and knees to his lover, he couldn’t dredge up the will to stand, “Alex, please, wake up, please.”

Daniel gently pulled Alex onto his lap and brushed back his hair which now had white streaks layered in. Daniel gently patted the cheeks that would never turn red again whenever he was angry or embarrassed, a face that would never again turn red whenever he laughed too hard. The gem had left his skin cold and gray, lifeless. “I’m so sorry,” Daniel whimpered, “I never should have let you come.” He rocked them back and forward, “I never should have…if I knew I wouldn’t.” Daniel choked back on his words, “please come back to me.”

Daniel placed a soft kiss on his cheeks, tasting the saltiness of his tears on Alex’s skin. Daniel wasn’t sure how much time had passed while he sat there rocking before Alex opened his eyes. Daniel's heart skipped painfully as Alex’s green eyes adjusted to the light. Alex said nothing, just stood up, Daniel followed his lead, unable to look away. Alex looked down at his hands and flexed his fingers, his nails had filed down to a point. A smile graced his lips as the power flowed through his veins and he felt a strength he never had before. He popped his neck and let out a low groan, all the tension in his shoulders leaving. His body had never felt so light before, so relaxed. 

“Alex?” Daniel questioned, taking a hesitant step forward.

For the first time since waking up, Alex looked at Daniel. He tilted his head, noticing things he never had before in his lover. Like the specks of gold in his blue eyes, or the gray in his hair that had seemingly taken a new shade of orange. Once he would have compared it to a dull sunset, it was so much more now. “Daniel, darling. No, that’s not right. Darling Daniel.”

Daniel flinched at the grave sound of Alex’s voice. It sounded rough from the screaming as if he hadn’t spoken in months. “What have you done?” Daniel questioned, an empty feeling swallowing his heart and settled in the pits of his stomach. 

“I have saved you.”