One Last Time

A/N: This post is inspired by the book They both die at the End by Adam Silvera. Death-Cast is the organization in charge of calling people and informing them that they're going to die sometime in the next 24 hours. This is a fictional organization from the book 'They both die at the End'. I recommend you to listen to 'As the world caves in' by Matt Maltese while reading this for a better experience

Receiving a call from death cast was never something we worried about, as far as they know, and getting discharged from this hospital was never something to be reckoned about, as far as they believe.

Death cast ripped off the band-aids one by one. 01:08 AM when I was strangled by the tears streaming down my face with scarce, faltering puffs of air captured in my throat, despite the breathing apparatus set delicately on my face. "You said you were all better." A whisper in undertone left my lips. Possibly, the illness of heart and nerves ached the brain, took everything away, but at the same time proved itself to be a blessing in disguise. Before I had any more time to decide whether to speak my mind or preciously choose the words to escape my mouth for my love, another buzz interrupted us. The same buzz from a minute earlier. However, its origin differed.

My pocket vibrates, making them jolt upright as I steadily stood up. I shakily let out the puff of air I had been holding along with a grotesque sob as the hold around my neck loosens. A faint smile appears on my lips as they shake their head vigorously.

The term love is an understatement when it comes to them. I do not love them. I adore them, I cherish them, I admire them, I treasure them, think the world of them. The moment I saw them, drip saline tasted bittersweet and the moment they waltzed into my existence, an abandoned and neglected switch moved to face the ground, making a chandelier glow brighter than the fire burning in our hearts. Perhaps, the difference of indifference is, I can easily choose to be a hanged man between the sheets of love and fancy because sometimes restrictions are the only excursions. Perhaps, a tide will take out the fire and the chandelier, leaving us in darkness, electrocuted with a notion of intimacy carved in our hearts. Perhaps, the tide will arrive tonight.

{divider}

"Those earrings look gorgeous on you, my dear"

"This is our safe space. our safe circle. We can't die if we stay in bed"

"I remember when you were first admitted to the hospital. You gave me hope. It was the day you stopped me from going to the rooftop. I knew very well I wouldn't survive and knowing I had to leave someday, bound in medical tubes, made me want to never breathe again. You make me want to be bound to you for eternity."

"To live my last day on this planet, I want to fulfil my one true wish. We will never be able to marry, though I can call you mine and you can call me yours. Will you find me In another universe? Another escape? Or will you forget about how we were each other's escape? How we intertwined our fingers from faraway beds as if we were two worlds apart? How all we had to do was look into the other's eyes to find the millions of galaxies you rant about? The many constellations we stay up to talk about? The Lyra constellation about Orpheus? Will you forget me? Will you forget your Orpheus, my Eurydice?"

"Let me embrace you one last time, for your arms are pure Eden to my Edom soul. Let us stay up one last time, for we may fall into the worlds of visions and make-believe and never get back up."

{divider}

10:24 PM. We made it to 10:24 PM. 10:24 PM when your throat erupts and your voice turns husky. 10:24 PM when you cough uncontrollably. 10:24 PM when your hand turns into a fist on your unpigmented garment. 10:24 PM when I gently place my arms around your shoulder, making you lean on mine. 10:24 PM when I know. I know. 10:26 PM when the roaring coughs halt and your pants fill the room. 10:26 PM when your eyes stay open, your pulse recovering and our hopes fly high. 10:28 PM when my head weighs a little less on yours. 10:28 PM when our eyes droop and our nerves fill with a hazy sensation, a tide. The tide.

You lift my chin with your fingers and look into my eyes with hooded, fatigue ones. "Even when you are about to die, your eyes still hold a million galaxies." "Don't waste your breath on me, darling." Our bodies so close, we form one. Your lips brush against mine and chaos breaks in my mind, stomach and soul.

We do not form one, we are one. We rule the universe and our empires fall in bitter harmony. It is impossible and unbelievable, reflecting our fate. The tears strangle both of us once again. The rope is getting tighter and the lumps in our throats find their way out as salty pearls. Our puffy, tear-stained cheeks dampen once again, the second I realise these tears shall be our tide. The tide to electrocute us and overwhelm the chandelier to collapse. The tide to wash away our existence. I peck your tears away, salty, tingling sensation lingers on my tongue. However, you do not giggle like you always do. Deafening silence echoes off the walls in this cube. My lips reconnect with yours. There was no way I would leave without it. You have left me and we can't be farther apart. wait for me.

My mind kicks and yells like a child begging for candy while I beg for peace. The hold on my neck tightens yet I do not care whereas my heart feels the most. Physical pain numb in comparison. It's as if I have been burned alive, shot by a number of arrows from bows, bullets piercing in and through, stabbed by a knife, eaten alive by a whale, beaten to the bone, drowning in a tide. I had been mistaken. No fire was put out. No short circuit occurred. The chandelier dims gradually but never dies down. The fire burns and it burns and it burns away the whole room. Elated the room has left and gotten rid of its existence as well, I let my eyes close. I let myself blind me. I let myself give in to what I have been fighting all my life. This is no loss or victory, this is peace. **

*"*Let me show you I love you one last time"