Life in Amsterdam

                 

Life in Amsterdam is quite complicated these  days, not the work part but I am stuck with my relationship it's been three long years and he is still not sure whether he wants to be with me forever or not. It's not that he has any insecurities or trust issues, he trusts me and so do I but recently we ain't able to take our relationship to the next level. 

 Well it sucks ! We sit down at the table staring at our phones, we do never forget to have a good bye kiss but that's not what at all I wanted. Living my life just like that makes me feel vague. I literally don't know what lies ahead of us do we have a future or it will end at this note. 

Amsterdam when I first visited sent chills throughout my spine it's cold and chilly here most of the year. Spring brings a lot whether it's about boat setting off from the harbor with loaded goods or whether it's about local shops that has constant bustling and chaotic environment. 

As I linger over these stores nowadays I really feel lonely inside. It's like accepting something which only makes you more conscious about your surrounding or rather sometimes its opposite like standing stoned aside the road and just letting everyone pass by. These days I have started compromising with myself I would do household chores, work extra hours at office, would sit and eat the whole day on holidays watching TV entire time. He comes and leaves for his work eating at the same table two times a day. He talks less  now, yell over his phone calls more, 

 I don't know what he is going through neither would he tell me. He would just say bye before heading to work in the morning letting me wonder about him more and more. I want to share his worries not just at work part but at home too. I want to resolve issues if there was any that led us apart without our knowledge I want him to know that I care and will always only if he knew I was there all the time having his back. He comes home with a dull face shies while sitting on the sofa he stairs at me and stairs for long I stand there without a uttering a word. 

Maybe he was reading my mind or ; maybe he realised how I was feeling these days since long I missed that look those eyes on me it reminds me of our past years being together I don't know what he was thinking. I didn't have a clue what was coming he stood moved few steps ahead and coming closer smiled ahh... that smile how long had it been missing ?

 Without saying anything he embraced me in his arms it felt like we both where longing for the same warmth. He brought his lips close to my ears and whispered ' Let's get married soon at once I fix things at work '...

 I got numb for minutes at what I heard just now but he didn't repeat the same rather smiled and squeezed me in his arms.

 Everything started coming back to normal again. 

 All of sudden my doubts eroded, my insecurities faded and once again he felt like home... I could never be more happier than this " Life in Amsterdam came back to life once again "