Letter To Him

Hii there 

It feels weird to write you such letters since I was the one who used to say that emotions are nothing but weaknesses. Do you ever noticed that I almost never take your name in my lips.... don't you want to know why? I savor your name on my lips, I literally pronounce it like a prayer. Perhaps I'm listening to "Saanson ki mala pe" song in loop.

When I try to remember when I fell in love with you, I come up that before even seeing you I felt an attraction when I read your name in the list. I lowkey wanted to know who you are. I don't really remember when I saw you. It was during the journey may be? You are hanging out in your friend groups most of whom I consider as unwanted byproduct of stupid evolution. So, I didn't have a bright impression of you. 

Then during one such rides, someone introduced you to me. For formality I only said a hello and went back to listening some countryside music which was blasting in my ears so that I could escape from having a conversation. But there you were, asking all sorts of questions about me, my studies and my career. Then I had the hunch that you like to distribute free knowledge to people, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it made you accessible to everyone. I felt that if you're that much accessible to all Then you must be a loose personality. Now I admit my defeat because later on you proved to be total opposite. 

I didn't keep any hopes, after all a guy like you must've a horde of women running behind you. I didn't even expect your friendship. Over time I am still amazed that how easily I opened up to you. I was and still am glad to be a friend of you, it is an honor to be a part of your journey. You're made for greater things, and I believe that nothing can keep you bound for long. 

Back then my close friends advised me not to fall for you and I would be lying if I didn't try. I fell hard even before I had the chance to realize it. As I spent more time with you, I strictly tried to only to be a friend and not show you my love. Because it would be an insult to my feelings if you didn't reciprocate. So, I never confessed and never will do so. I would be there as a friend and watching you from a distance. I'll rejoice in your happiness and be upset I your sadness, but I'll never ever tell you that I fuc*ing love you for I know that it won't be reciprocated and there are high chance that I'll just get played. I wish you health and wealth, with that I shall keep this letter away from you.....