Letter To A Teen Daughter!

----Actually its one of the letter from the series of letter written by a mother to her teen daughter during her last days!---

!Entering into teens!

So now since you are entering in your teens. I would like to congratulate you and wish you good luck so that you could make lifelong memories in this period. With this, I'll start some of the remedies or you can say I'll let you know the ways that helped me to smoothen my ways and to experience my teens happily. But yeah! Please don't ever take my letters as last words, they are just my perception of life. I am writing to you because I want you to know more about my life and these experience may help you to pave your path ahead. Remember one thing that you are the owner of your life nobody else. So do whatever you want! If you fail then suffer punishment and learn so that the mistake is not repeated again. Make your experience rich and wonderful.

So basically there are two major changes that happen with girls of this age. One is biological change and this biological change leads to changes in emotions. And to maintain a balance between the outer and inner world is very important as well as critical at this time. Else you feel like everything is collapsing in front of your eyes. I know you can handle biological changes, so in this letter I'll talk more about emotional aspect.

Let me tell you one thing, the beautiful but a little bit tricky truth about this period of life. This age is actually a bit difficult for everyone. While in teens you will experience a new emotion like attraction for opposite-sex people. You will experience falling for someone and vice versa someone will fall for you. You will be attracted to someone and gets an experience of establishing a new relationship. Since teenage is when most of us feel highly energetic, you will always try to keep yourself in the excited state. This is a very vulnerable time because the craving for remaining in the high state may lead to the indulgence of self in Maya of this world. There are a lot of ways which has been discovered by people for years, which can keep your mind in the high state all the time.

But my dear girl! What I want to tell you is that your body itself is the major source of happiness. You don't need to rely on anything from the outer world, neither the love nor the sedative substances like alcohol or drugs or any such substance. You can remain stoned as it is if you live your life in the arms of your own bliss. Anyway, there are a lot of things that I want to reveal to you, but the foremost important is love.

Love can happen in any form of relationship. It's my love for you that I am writing to you now even though I know that I'll not be with you in the future. When you will enter this age you will experience a different love that is romantic love towards your partner, mostly opposite sex. You will feel attracted to someone special in your life. You know, there is a mystic saying that love brings the pain.

My dear girl! Remember one thing that if there is a pain then it is not true love. You should learn to love with wisdom, if you show ignorance then the pain will come as a free gift to you. But yeah! this pain will definitely lead you to the path of knowledge. Just experience it whatever comes on your way. There will be love stories as well as heartbreaks. Don't get scared by all these things they are just part of your journey to unravel the ultimate purpose of our life. Though the pain is an inevitable part of life but definitely with knowledge and correct choice of people in your life you can make this suffering less painful. If you choose correct people in your life then they can help you and smoothen your way.

Now an obvious question will arise. Then, what is true love and how will you identify your true lover? Trust me, dear! there is no magic thumb rule with which you can discover true love. Its definition varies from person to person, everyone has their own aspect of describing true love as per his or her experience. Though everyone's journey is unique and different from others but still sometimes the texts and teachings of books can act as a source of wisdom which can help you to make an intelligent hypothesis about any situation in your life. That's why I read few books to understand the meaning of true love and to discover the way to manifest it in practical life. And, after reading some books and listening to some lectures I landed up to following elements which if included in any relationship then we can refer to it as true love. Though I read books from multiple religion to demystify true love, nothing satisfied me better than that of Buddha's teaching. So here, I'll share with you my thoughts and understandings. I want you to read this letter twice or thrice and then try it at least once in your life. And if you find anything different then please write it down so that your ideas can help your siblings to experience the beauty of this godly relation called Love.

The great enlightened being Buddha said that true love must include four elements and I'll explain each in brief. Loving-kindness or Maitri in Hindi. Loving-kindness means offering happiness to oneself as well as the other person in relationship. So if you experience true love then you will be able to offer happiness not just to yourself but also to your partner. If you are in true love then even the thought about the presence of that person itself can bring a beautiful smile on your face. Such a beautiful feeling is true love. And then, the second element is compassion or Karuna in Hindi. Compassion is like a positive energy that can help to remove suffering and transform it into enlightening knowledge. If your love for anyone can transform his suffering into positivity with understanding then you are in true love. And in the same way, as you cannot clap with your single hand, you need to tune both of your hand, similarly the other person has to show compassion for you then only the bud of true love will bloom into a beautiful flower.

The third fundamental part is very simple, that is the joy. The joy of true love is beyond the bodily desires and contentment of sexual desires. Because this joy is not pleasure which happens for a few moments and then fades on as you start moving in your relationship. True love is then when you can speak to each other from your hearts not just mouth. If you feel that you are not being abducted by your hormones when he embraces you in his arms that is true love. I know you might be thinking in a different direction but I'll make it clear why did I say this line. Because from my experience, I have found that when we are in control of our hormones then we are at high mind state and this may cause us to collapse.

Even in his arms, you should feel the high of enlightenment not the bliss of ignorance. Your partner should be the reason for your joy and similarly, for him, you should be there. And this joy should be limitless, it shouldn't have limit not just in time but also in space. The true love is beyond the dimension of this world, unlike physical desire and pleasures. At last the fourth element that must be added while defining true love is Inclusiveness. You shouldn't exclude anyone. You believe that his suffering is your suffering and yours is his. There is no individual suffering as well as happiness. The moment when you can share everything may it be any good or bad incident and can say it's ours, not yours or mine that moment you are in true love. Everything becomes ours when you fall in true love. There shouldn't be any discrimination, there shouldn't be any barrier defining you and your partner. That is inclusiveness of true love.

These are the four elements of true love which I found from books. Now, I'll add some tinge in it by telling you my life lessons. After reading this don't think that its impossible to find such a person in life. Actually its very easy to get such person in life because these are just true nature of human being. We are different from animals because we can express, live, feel and think these elements in our life, these are our true nature. It's just that due to the indulgence of social media and technologies we are searching ourselves outside and thus we all are lost. You just have to be in your true nature and you will manifest your true love. When you realize all these elements in your relationship nature will reflect back with an answer to your behavior.

My dear girl! If you find any such person in your life with whom you share such a beautiful relationship, then please keep hold of such people in your life. They are the one who truly loves you. Loving with knowledge can never cause pain but loving with ignorance can be the source of ultimate pain in life. And the wisdom doesn't come just by reading texts or listening to enlightened people but you have to experience it and make it crystal clear in your mind. So explore the life fully!