Lachesism

Repetition of identical chaos

leads to monotony, often.

And when monotony becomes normality,

it reduces to a mere dictionary word

and a noun.

I am so used to chaos that

normality makes me apprehensive.

On the contrary, I am thin-skinned

and defensive.

Surviving the bone-jarring feeling

of an aftershock or

Pulling through the damage and debris

caused by a super-storm or

Sustaining through the topples and slides

of mudslides,

Whim-whams of stumbling

and teetering on the brink.

Terror mixed with a tinge of thrill,

thrown into a series of hurdles

to escape from another

afternoon of mundanity.

Curious and anxious,

I am willing to know the

odds of survival.

Removed the headgear, let my guards down.

Surrendered the sword, slacked my shoulders.

Unclenched my fist, unenthusiastic.

I feel exhausted and traumatized -

breathless sighs, quickened pulses,

trembling muscles, cold sweats.

There is an intense pleasure

in surviving a moderate pain -

jolting me out of this existence and

resulting in larger appreciation

for the little things in life.

Replace the shocks, storms and slides

with abuse, rejections and betrayals.

Hold on and focus on healing -

write essays and ode to yourself.