Demons of the Daylight
Demons of the Daylight
I'm all sweaty and jittery whenever I am awake till 3 am because I heard long back that it is the time of the demon. So, I generally try to sleep by 3 at night. But there are nights when my own demons awaken. They have skin made with my scars, the flesh of my fears, nerves of my negligence and blood made of my blunders. Trust me on this, they are way more dangerous. They constantly remind me of the battles I could not win. I am afraid of these nights because these bring out my worst of fears, darkest of secrets and can be the weakest of hours.
Do you remember the last time you were haunted by something? Do you remember how helpless you felt at that particular moment?
You wanted to shout at the top of your voice,
You wanted to scream your fears out,
you wanted to be heard, to be listened.
You wanted to go back in time and change your choice,
You wanted your dormant dreams to sprout,
You wanted your scars to be blurred, hopes glistened.
You were uncomfortable that very night. You clutched the covers of your pillow with one hand and used the other hand to wipe the sweat drops on your forehead. You wanted to shed your skin and grow new skin to get rid of those scars, those very scars that kept you bottled up in a jar – a jar made of glass, easily broken by the demon arising out of your own negative thoughts.
You wept silently that night so that nobody gets to know how your demon made cut marks on you. It crawled out of your own skin and caused exasperation. At that point of time, you really wanted to shed your skin and it made the demon grin. He had claws which were constantly hurting your chest – did you feel the blood? You did but the saddest part is that none could see it. You wanted to utter a loud cry to scare the demon but the thought of it made it stronger. You know why? Because it feeds on your negative emotions.
Your mind wandered in the search of that lost dream, lost home, lost person or lost hope. You needed somebody to whisper some patience and perseverance. You needed somebody to listen to you, to hug you and embrace you at your coldest. You needed somebody to tell you – ‘this too shall pass’. But you had nobody next to you because they might be sleeping peacefully. You were rubbing your palm on your face because there was some kind of irritation underneath the skin. You could feel the demon crawling its way inside you and sucking your warmth and positivity. Did you feel the emotions drying up right at the centre of your chest? You must have because your warmth shrank that night. You were twisting, turning but from inside you were burning. Your stomach was churning and your past returning, not in whole but in pieces. After a struggle of few minutes to few hours, you had to drag yourself out of your bed, splash some water to get rid of the demon’s claws which gradually was making scars visible on your face, drink some water and try to sleep. The demon disappeared but with a promise to visit again.
Do you think this is scary? Then you have surely not met the demons of the daylight. This demon has a skin color similar to daybreak. It has the super powers of a chameleon. It can change color and it changes from midnight black to warm orange color of dawn or daisy white color of noon or bright yellow color of afternoon or crimson red color of dusk. That is the same reason why you fail to distinguish the demon from your hope. It deceives you, tricks you into believing that you are weak and ailing, constantly failing. The demons of the daylight are more harmful because it may attack you anytime throughout the day and that too in a form, you could faintly discern. You will continue to believe that it is your failed hope or failed dream that is causing chaos within you. But it is actually the demon of the daylight that is trying to break you into pieces. You can see people moving, laughing and doing their work. Then you will realize that you are just looking at nothing in particular. You are frozen on a bright summer afternoon. You are cold because your scars unfold. You are not sure what can bring you solace.
That is where the self-love part comes into play. You should know yourself inside out because it will help you find the antidote of your poison. You should know what brings you comfort, what helps you to fight your inner demon. Your biggest enemy and biggest friend is you yourself. It all depends on the way you treat yourself, you behave with yourself when the demon comes to destroy you. You need to be brave. You need to act.
And with each struggle, you should keep on discovering yourself because you, my friend, are a blooming flower – some are night-blooming water lilies and some are morning glory and the rest belongs to anything in between. You can not wilt or wither before time because you have to bloom in your best possible way at the best possible time. This, this moment is your time. Bloom bravely and be an example. Bloom beautifully and be other's hope. If you wish to display your struggle, make sure you display your glory as well. The glory which will inspire at least one person to look at life differently.
It is not easy to lose a piece of yourself and live, but you can always push yourself a bit more… because no matter how hard it is so carry on, there is always some scope for hope.