Knock Knock

Knock knock

Me: who is there?

Covid

Me: Covid who

Covid who has come to infect you.

Me: I am of upper caste. There are plenty of shudras around. Why me?

Covid: however, you are cast, it doesn’t matter.

Me: I am ex-bureaucrat turned minister

Covid: that doesn’t matter too.

Me: I know the PM, who was the best friend of the ex-American President, the most powerful man in the world.

COVID: it doesn’t matter too.

Me: hey, listen. I have plenty of money and my infection will make big news. Why don’t you infect any number of Dalits instead, nobody will care. You get your numbers and I am saved. Win-win for both of us.

COVID: for me all are equal. Now it is your turn to get infected.

Me: what did I do to deserve this?

COVID: what an idiotic question? Weren’t you there at the Kumbh mela to take your snan?

Me: That was a holy act. Taking a dip in the Ganges purifies the body and spirit. You can’t punish me for that. The Gods won’t spare you.

COVID: Ah! you talk about God. I won’t spare you first of all.

Me: I have learnt the vedas and I chant the mantra diligently each day. I belong to one of the Akhadas and I had to go. Surely you cannot punish me for that, can you?

COVID: As if the dip wasn’t enough, you went to the PM’s rally in Bengal and took part in it.

Me: Ah! that. Didi O Didi has to go. Didi is a bigger threat than you. One has to get to rid of her.

COVID: let me infect you, so that you realise who is a bigger threat.

Me: oh no! please. There is a shortage of oxygen, hospital beds right now. Why don’t you infect me once the oxygen train from Odisha reaches the capital. Then at least I can use my influence and get taken care so that I can survive your infection.

COVID: once I come to your door, there is no going back. I don’t roll back things.

Me: I will call PM himself and lodge a complaint. He will send the might of anti-terrorist squad to arrest you under UAPA. Then there will not be any mukti for you. You may as well die in the jail without getting any bail.

COVID: I spread through the air. I am of a size that your anti-terrorist squad won’t be able to do anything. Your automatic pistols, your protection equipment, your Rafale’s are no go against me.

Me: I have a pair of desi-cows in my back yard. I can consume their urine and protect myself. Then what will you do?

COVID: sure. That is a deal. I shall infect you and you shall consume cow urine. Let us see the results.

Me: How about Hanuman Chalisa? Or for that matter if I read chapters from Bible or the Koran?

COVID: why are you bringing religion in our conversation? I am agnostic in my approach. I don’t differentiate between rich and poor, race etc. I am not here to create any division but multiply.

We have had this conversation for the past 10 minutes and more than enough for a good infection. Thank you. Take care of yourself. Follow the government guidelines and quarantine yourself. Don’t forget to take your shots and after that follow all the precautions.

Me: Me too, aaaaahhhhhhhh…..