It's okay not to be okay

Tik-tok-tik-tok, the alarm clock rang, it's time for me to get up. Yet, here I am, still lying on the bed and didn't feel like getting up. I felt physically,mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Few days ago, I was bombarded with so many homeworks, projects, long exams, presentations, house works and many others.That is my daily routine as a college working student. 

Beep! It's the sound of my phone, it's another notification. But wait, it's something that I need to pay attention.

 "Another suicide attempt due to depression"

 Yes! , You read it right, it's a news notification and that was the headline of the news I read in my phone.

Because of what I have read, I got a time to reflect. I feel sorry for those who have given up. I can't imagine their struggle. I also have moments like this-feeling exhausted. Probably, this day is one of them. So, I took a deep breath and decided to take a break.

So you see? 

If you feel the same as I feel right now. I want you to know that you are not alone. I understand how exactly it feels. Oftentimes, people will tell us to never give up . Some will encourage us with the words “I know you’re strong, you can do it” . But few are those people who will sit next to you and bother to ask if your'e okay. Well, you are lucky enough if you have one. But if you only have yourself, I want to congratulate you for being strong enough to stand alone.

But, I also want to remind you to take a rest when you are tired. Yes, its okay to rest, it's okay to feel tired, it's okay not to be okay, but its not okay pretending that your okay when your not. 

The problem with this world may be that we should be ready to face whatever life brings us, we’re expected to be fully energized, efficient and ready. So, if we push ourselves into situations that don’t truly make us happy, it will make us more exhausted. We feel trapped somewhere in our lives simply because we are expected to be there, we expect to get through the storm and hope that something better will come. So every day we force ourselves to stay still, exhausted, and we continue to move in a direction that feels so wrong.

How about taking a path that feels right for once?

Maybe you forget to take a break and then you work endlessly until you collapse, become miserable and exhausted. 

I want you to know that it’s okay to be tired, and it’s okay not to be okay, it’s normal. If you're not okay, try to give yourself a break. You have put your energy in so many different areas, you are tired, painful, frustrated, anything – it's okay. You can definitely feel it in any way you want. You have the right to feel any emotions presented to you at that time.

I know you are strong, but you are just tired of doing your best, but still not good enough. 

Never mind about what other people think of you. They don't know that you are almost exhausted. They don't know you are almost done. They don't know that behind all these strengths are trembling knees and constantly thinking about whether you are doing it right.

They don't know that behind self-confidence is self-doubt. In the end, they don’t know that every day of yours is made up of self-questioning, asking yourself if you still taking the right direction.

So this time, let yourself rest, relax, breathe deeply and recharge. Rest is not laziness, but self-love. Take a break so that you can once again be ready to face everything that life throws at you. Most importantly, let the creators of Divine help you. Again, It's okay not to be okay, but it's not okay pretending that you're okay, when you are not.