Irredeemably In Love
Irredeemably In Love
The rain had stopped, leaving behind a hoarse melody of constant pitter-patter against the windowpane while I stood beside it, looking at the sky, impeccably somber and bleak with hues that I abhorred absolutely. For they couldn't resemble tranquility but only darkness - an unrelenting one that was hard to get rid of at times when the clouds growled and grumbled while streaks of lightning bolted through them. Perhaps just like the blemishing brokenness that now remained smudged all over me as I kept plummeting down the chasm of a love that would never be requited.
I believed, not myself but you when you held my hands and besought some more time to forget her in the entirety. I believed, not myself but you when you stared into my eyes and said that you were trying hard to let go of her, and all of her. I believed, not myself but you when you kissed me hard whispering her name into my mouth only to cry it out loud that it was barely a slip of your tongue, and you were trying, still trying your best. And look where every futile endeavor of yours to forget her, brought me to? It brought me nowhere, but left me with a heart - cracked and bleeding with a never known before hollowness as it continued to love you and every broken shard of yours that you said was too damaged to be mended again until it ended up with vacant chambers that only pumped and pounded, and pierced by your very own brokenness. It brought me nowhere but left me with a soul - exhausted and enervated, as it continued to love you perhaps as much as you had loved her, or still love her to the verge of falling apart at times while holding every shattered piece of yours together through the wreckage of your own heartbreak. It brought me nowhere, but left me with a being - unfamiliar and unrecognizable, as it continued to love you despite hardly latching onto any flicker of hope to see you loving me back one day without her presence breathing amid the two of us.
A streak of lightning flashed across my eyes, far away in the murky horizon while I wondered what was more left inside of me that could have sufficed to pull you out of this broken mess that you had made of yourself only in the name of a love that wouldn't be returned anymore. But then, wasn't I doing the exact same just in the name of a love that had already rendered me broken without even once becoming mine, and solely mine?
A veneer of mist clouded the window, urging me to wipe it away with my bare hands when I saw it - my reflection; where every part of mine seemed to reflect every part of yours, too broken and irredeemably in love, that would never be met with completeness, perhaps not in this lifetime but in some another.