Introspection

I left home after an intense argument broke out between me and my parents. They didn't have an inkling that I was going to leave the house. I gave into my compulsive messed-up mind and decided to head straight to the jungle to find some respite from the chaotic arguments that spiralled out of control. Arguments must be forgotten then and there; if we carry them forward, it would leave no stones unturned to breach our peace. I stepped into my car, lounged back against the front seat and drove down the streets of Marathahalli amidst the relentless pouring rain which offered no protection. The cool breeze hummed its melodious music but to my ears, they seemed like a cacophony because of the bad mood I was in. I urged windshield wipers to kill the beads of raindrops that peppered the front windshield, ironically there was no tool to clean my messed-up mind. The eerie silence manufactured by the deserted road worked in cahoots with the rain to fuel ugly thoughts in my brain. The replay of the arguments that I had with my parents continued to torment my vulnerable mind which had indeed become cluttered ground. Fortunately, I was driving along the deserted road; had there been any vehicles, I would have certainly rammed into them leading to mayhem. 

When you let your stress hormones whack you, they are bound to render you helpless. Better find medicine to counter its deception game or else you will burn in its flames. The more you are prone to stress, the more it harms your mental health. The streetlights bathed the road with their energy which was my only visible source to drive along the otherwise dark road. I was able to circumvent the obstacles thrown by the road. Rasping voices emanated around to try to trigger my fear but my mind didn't yield to the frightening act. The green trees which seemed to be busy bathing in rain dotted both sides of the road. The spurt of anger played a crucial role in my decision to leave the house. Is it fair to abandon your parents who have dedicated their entire life to your betterment? I was indeed a beneficiary of their countless sacrifices but is it worth forsaking them at this age? My mind did not let these questions creep up, perhaps the lonely jungle may offer me a chance to introspect which is a vital tool to settle the chaos once and for all.

I drove my car to the heart of the jungle in the wee hours of the morning. The long rather arduous journey had ceased. I climbed out of the car and hurried towards the river before slurping the water to quench my thirst. I had no clothes or any other accessories with me and I had no blueprint on how I would live my life in the jungle. The sun hovered over the sky as if to expound the significance of his presence in this large world. The chirping birds of all kinds seemed to greet each other as if it was an auspicious day. Raindrops kissed the leaves and landed straight on my face to render goosebumps. This was not a busy street in Bangalore flocked by people and vehicles, but rather a green lonely forest which had good and bad stories hidden beneath its cloak. No laptop to urge me to code; no people to compel me to speak; no traffic to fuel my stress. My eyes swept around to consume the blissful greenery which was the epicentre of the jungle. Was coming to the forest a conscious decision from my end? 

This lonely moment creatively exercised my brain to churn out a poem which I dared to speak out loud.

Breathing life in the lonely forest

I swing in its sacred nest

I try to overcome the tinge of sadness

And replace it with an eccentric madness

Birds are playing their musical instruments

To kill my mind ailments

Trees are waving their hands

To entertain the active brains

The doors of heaven have opened here

So rest in peace, my dear fear

A storm of stress

Can't play chess

A wine of bliss

Is the real boss

A crazy mist

Clenches its fist,

To kill the ghost

And to be the best

A beautiful lake

Can't be fake

It appeared for my sake

Like a cherry on the cake

Introspect! Introspect! Introspect!

That is how you gain respect

I sat on the blades of grass which danced to the tunes of the breeze. Are they wise enough to listen to the inner conversations which I was having? All breeds of insects appeared to have originated in this forest which didn't hesitate to grab my attention. I looked at the blue sky that had no longer sheltered the dark clouds but rather acted as my umbrella to protect me from the perilous thoughts of rain.

Can I survive here till my death? How startled my parents could be after learning about my absence from the house. They are no longer young enough to fend for themselves and they need a young shoulder to lean onto. How absurd it is for me to think of life in this lonely forest when I can be food to the wild animals at any moment? The spurt of anger had receded. A wave of patience had swept as if to enlighten me. I cannot shirk my responsibility to take care of my beloved parents just for one meaningless reason which exploded into an ugly argument. An introspection is a tool which helps us not only to understand ourselves better but also rectify our mistakes to ensure we walk on the right path with the right intentions. A smile that had abandoned me once again appeared on my face to revive my mood. I jumped into my car and with a wide grin set the vehicle into motion. The white car retraced its steps back home. My worried parents stood outside the house with tears in the corner of their eyes. I pinched my ears which was my way of apologising. The reunion materialized to bring in peace and happiness with such vitality even the stress hormones jumped into the ocean of fear to commit suicide.