His Lost Love

Amit stood in front of the mirror taking in his own disheveled appearance - thick, unkept beard, eyes withdrawn deep into their sockets, dark bags surrounding them, messy, long hair and most importantly, his lifeless orbs staring back at himself - almost questioning his existence. He did not even cringe at his reflection. 'She would have though', he thought. A collage formed in front of his eyes at that instance. The same collage which has been haunting him to death these days - her beaming smile which lit up his universe and her pale corpse alongside it. Tears welled up in his tired eyes, but they found no escape. How could they? He had cried a river since that fateful day, so much that now, even the tears seemed to have dried up. That fateful day when he lost the other half of his soul, his wife, Shravya. 

Theirs had been a perfect love story, well, as perfect as it really could be. Childhood sweethearts, dated throughout college and then gotten married with the blessings of friends and family. The perfect fairytale. The only disagreement they ever had was when Shravya took an abrupt decision one day to join the Indian Army as a medical officer. It was all of a sudden while Shravya and Amit had been preparing for their finals. Amit had been confused at first, a bit enraged later and exasperated at last. How could his Shravya take a decision without having a conversation with him? He was proud of her courage in taking such a decision, but he simply could not come to terms with its suddenness. Him, their families, all tried to understand Shravya's viewpoint and they did. Shravya had always wanted to serve the country, but was unsure of how her loved ones would take the decision. Needless to say, just a few days later, Amit and Shravya were both filling Shravya's application form together. 

She would serve the nation and he would take care of their home and families staying here. It had all been now decided between them. That was the thing about their relationship. No disagreement could tear them apart, because their love for each other and the understanding in between was far too stronger to be hustled by the winds of turbulences. 

As Amit stood in front of the mirror today, reminiscing her presence in the past with a bleeding heart, he could only wonder why she failed to fulfill her promise of a companionship of lifetime. 

After their marriage 2 years back, Shravya had gotten peace posting. Those were some of the most blissful and beautiful moments of their life. Them, their home, and again, just the two of them. It was a beautiful period. After a year, Shravya had been called to the borders. Amit had been disheartened to have a part of his heart going far away from him, but he knew how to be a army spouse. He plastered the widest grin on his face, took Shravya within his arms, inhaling her presence and then let go her. His wide grin could not really fool her, she knew him far better than that, but that was how it was supposed to be. She too did the same. They kept in touch as much as they could, sometimes daily, the other times weekly. The calls would begin with smiles and laughter and would end with tears of longing. 

Two months ago, Shravya surprised Amit when she came home for Diwali. She had gotten a leave for 5 days and decided to make the most of it with her dearest Amit. He had been ecstatic to say the least. When it had been the time for her departure, this time Amit simply refused to let go, he kept her tucked within his arms when their entire family had accompanied them to see her off. He just had a really bad feeling in his heart this time and could feel his stomach sinking with the mere thought of Shravya leaving. It was a very poignant departure. When Shravya waived at him one last time before boarding the plane, he could not help but think as if it was the last time he were to see her, to feel her. 

How he wished today to simply have kept her in his arms that day, for it had indeed been the last time he had seen his Shravya. Exactly ten days later came the gut-wrenching news of an attack on Shravya's army camp. All the officers had been martyred. Amit simply froze after watching that news on TV. His mind, heart and soul refused to accept that his Shravya would have been taken far away from him. 

He tried to call her, her colleagues hoping for someone to pick up the call, some sort of miracle to happen, but to no avail. While everyone was grieving with the sorrow of Shravya's demise, Amit had been relentless in trying to contact her. At one point, when a corner of his mind tried to coerce him into accepting the truth, which he had known all along, he broke down. He cried like never before. Those were the heart-breaking wails of a husband crying for his wife, of a soulmate crying for his other half, longing for her. 

His knees buckled and his body longed for a support while he stood in front of the mirror today. Not receiving any, he collapsed, just as he had collapsed after he had set alight his beloved's pyre. Amit had been a living corpse that day - no emotions, no feelings, just a body whose soul has departed in search of its lost part. This is how it had been, for the past few days, since he had lost Shravya, his Shravya, his love.

How he wished to go back in time and just freeze the moments in which they lived and loved, fought and argued, dreamt and dreamt on, of a life together, till they would grow to be all old and wrinkly and eventually leave this place together hands in hands. How he wished to have Shravya back and hold on to her till they took their last breath together. But she had been gone, farther beyond his reach, forever, and now, he only wished to take strides and reach her some day, where he knew, she would be waiting for him. All he knew now was to reminisce her love, her life, her entire existence till he would be united with her someday.