Hijab- A Choice!

Arishfa...Arishfa...Arishfaaa....cacan't you hear me calling out your name- Said Ammi.

Ammi.....I.....I...

Get dressed and come fast ....everybody is waiting for you downstairs. Your Abbu is really getting furious. And don't forget, I don't want a head cover today. Don't tie your hair, Keep it Open and wear the lipstick that Khaala gave you. It really suits you( Ammi said all of it so fast and in a hurry that I couldn't listen and understand half of what she said. And most importantly I couldn't say what I have been trying and was gathering my courage all day long to say to her.)

Arishfa was nervous and more than that confused. Today was her engagement. She wasn't prepared for it. But, It wasn't that this engagement was forced upon. Obviously, she agreed and the process went ahead. She was in her thoughts but she ultimately rushed and started to dress, Ammi was already calling her out every now and then. Sheeba( makeup artist) comes into her room and started doing her makeup. And she asked Arishfa- Baaji, how are you feeling?! Are you excited about your new journey?! Arishfa was simply perplexed....she paused for a moment and then she said - I..I...don't actually know how am I feeling that is the only problem. Okay, you tell me how did you feel when you got engaged and then married- asked Arishfa to Sheeba. 

Sheeba- Baaji, There was no engagement ceremony as such during my time. It was straight away marriage.

Arishfa- Oh! so, you knew about the guy, right? don't you?

Sheeba- yes! Baaji. My parents decided amongst themselves, in fact, that the guy was my Khaala's son. So, we knew each other since childhood.

Arishfa- Okay! But, you didn't answer my question. How did YOU feel?

Sheeba- Baaji, I think the process of marriage is not the easiest decision to make for anyone. Till the time you get married, you remain confused and nervous. I believe it's just natural to think that way!

Arishfa- so, you were nervous and confused? Is it because you were compromising with your choices?!

Sheeba- Yeah, there were so many emotions....mixed emotions kind of! and Baaji....females don't really have Ch...o..i..cee...!!!

Maryam Khaala entered the room suddenly, along with a few other ladies and khaala scold Sheeba and said- How long will you take for this makeup, the guests are already here. You are having a conversation here..... Arishfa you should understand the seriousness of this day!

Khaala, calm down! we are almost finished. And please don't scold Sheeba. I indulged her in my talk.

okay, okay fine...now rush ....no more delays please han! Maryam Khaala kissed Arishfa on her forehead and asked her to come downstairs as early as possible.

Shadaab was the guy with whom Arishfa was about to be engaged. He was a software engineer associated with a big reputed organization in the country and earned a handsome salary. Shadaab called himself be "progressive Person". He believed in changing with the changing times. The guests were talking amongst themselves, dishes were being served. The dining table was fully occupied with a variety of dishes. The ladies of the house kept serving and managing everything. 

Male and female counterparts were sitting in different rooms. Shadaab's mother asked if they could bring Arishfa and they can proceed with the ceremony.

Arishfa's mother again rushed upstairs and this time she was really angry. she was about to say something...but, Arishfa interrupted her in between and said let's go Ammiii....come...I am ready. Arishfa came running downstairs, her mother wanted to say something. she was hushing something....and Arishfa knew what she wanted but she pretended to have not heard it.

Everybody was asked to be gathered in a hall and Arishfa came into the room. Shadaab stood up and without any delay, he looked once at her mother and Arishfa's mother. Aunty, What is this?!

Beta, don't worry She is wearing it for just a moment, actually, she is not in habit of not wearing the HIJAB. We can start with the ce..re...

Arishfa- But, Ammi I am not going to remove my Hijab, I have said it earlier as well. Her mother suddenly hushed her down and asked her to remain silent for a moment.

The whole environment of the hall became awkward.

Aunty, don't stop her. let her talk. Even I was clear that I am a progressive person and I want my partner to be equally progressive in their thought. I believe in the Rights of a woman and I in any way don't want a woman who does not even have free will and is independent in her choices.

Arishfa was fully enraged listening to this. and she said- Hey! So, you believe in progressiveness right? I am a post-graduate woman, working in corporate and earning for myself and sustaining my family. am I not progressive?! What do you really mean when you say that you believe in the Rights of women?!

Shadaab- This...this...headcover, the so-called Hijab of yours' is the problem. It represents oppressive tradition and is a symbol of subjugating women! You are living in a modern world, so why are you following the customs of 18th or for that matter 7th centuries conventions? This era is free of the Pardah system!

Arishfa- ohhh!! damn it! so, you have a problem with a piece of cloth that I wear on my head?! do, you think it's oppression? how about If I am wearing it of my own choice? so, who are you to stop me from doing that? do you think I am subjugated to a point where I cannot even use my rationale to choose what is right or wrong for me merely on the basis of what I wear on my head?!!! Why am I only in the position to prove that this is my Right choice?

Shadaab- Oh! common... I have heard it all. people like you have shut their minds. you are not gonna understand.

Arishfa- shut my mind????? Are you serious?!!!!! you are talking about Rights, right!? so, it is my individual, constitutional and religious right what I as an independent woman choose to reveal or conceal. Why should women have to be judged every time by what she is wearing? Why can't women be judged on what's inside their head, their brain, how she is using it and not how many layers of clothes she have or not on their body!???

It is not even a matter of cloth Mr Shadaab Ali. let me tell you, it is the matter and question of your Patriarchal, male-dominated mindset which every now and then loves to dictate what women should do, what to wear, what not to wear, and where not to go. It's your regressive thought which believes having an opinion and proclaiming it loudly in the crowd of cowards makes you progressive. I can speak for myself, I can earn and I can very well live without people of so-called males like you!

Arishfa said all of it and started to go upstairs...everybody was staring at her. her mother rushed towards her. she ran upstairs. she locked herself. her mother came down and apologized for her actions.

Shadaab and her family without saying anything left from there.

Arishfa's mother went up and kept banging her door... until she opened it. Her mother was completely enraged and said- didn't I make it very clear to you that you don't have to wear your hijab today? do you realize what have you done to yourself and to our family?

what have I done Ammi? and what do I need to realize - said Arishfa. Should I realize that I have no choice over my choice of wearing? or should I realize that I am lesser of worth because I wear something on my head Ammi? (Arishfa started sobbing while saying all of it to her Ammi ) You, tell me Ammi, you gave me this education so that one day I shut my mouth and do not speak for my own choices just because I have to get married. Am..mi...  why don't you realize that Abba made you wear the Niqaab forcibly and you did not have your choice. That was a compulsion AMmi.... but I chose it Ammi.

Arishfa's mother hugged her and tried to calm her down and said- beta, you know society changes its opinion as per their own convenience when it comes to a female! If a woman still today has to fight for what to wear or not and seek a male's validation then we are yet not a PROGRESSIVE society.

.............There was then just silence between the two for a minute.

and then Ammi said let's go out. Today, I will step out of the house with my choice and you with yours. And finally, they both smiled at each other and went ahead with their own CHOICES!