Freeloader

“Let’s order pizzas, and not from any regular place. I know of this gourmet pizza outlet. Their pizzas are outstanding. You will thank me for telling you about this place”; announced Piyush at the gathering of more than 20 folks at Yamini and Kunal’s place in Bangalore’s Indiranagar. He then, without even waiting for the host’s consent, took a headcount and went to the balcony to order for pizzas and garlic bread.

Yamini implored Kunal to stop Piyush. “Kunal, please stop Piyush. It’ll be a huge bill. I have plans to order dinner. It’ll be at a fraction of the cost of these so-called gourmet pizzas.” Kunal was a nice and docile guy. He saw the world very differently. He pacified Yamini by saying: “Piyush is ordering. Piyush will pay. I’m sure he wants us all to enjoy the pizzas from the place he’s speaking so highly about. Relax. You get worried unnecessarily. Enjoy the party. Look at the bright side. You don’t even have to order dinner now. Piyush has done that for you. Come, have fun.” But Yamini was wiser, and she knew what was about to happen.

Nandita, Piyush’s wife, walked up to Yamini and said: “You know, last weekend we were at this party and they had ordered these pizzas. So yum I tell you. Wait till you bite into them. You all can thank us later.” Yamini was not happy. She had planned to order dinner once the snacks were served. It was from a neighbouring outlet and they delivered good fresh food, on time.

Soon enough, the pizzas arrived. Piyush rushed to answer the door. Kunal looked at Yamini from across the room, his eyes saying: ‘See! I told you. Piyush will pay.’ Piyush opened the door and exclaimed: “Ah! Here you are. Thank you. Come in. Please keep the pizzas on the table.” Once the delivery boy had piled the pizza boxes along with condiments, he took out the bill. Piyush yet again announced: “And these my friends are the best pizzas in Bangalore. Kunal, just settle the bill. And give the delivery boy some generous tip also. After all he carried so many pizzas for your party.”

It was Yamini’s turn to look at Kunal and say: ‘See! I told you. Piyush will not pay.’ Sheepishly, Kunal walked up to his room, fetched his black leather wallet, gifted by Yamini last week. He then swiped his debit card to make the payment. It was a massive amount, way more than Yamini and Kunal had factored in for their casual get together.

This was how Piyush was. Always. He would attend parties and get-togethers and make it seem he has done a favour by attending. He could regale the audience with tales of the armed forces, of the dirt bike expeditions he had (maybe) taken, he could also boast of his culinary knowledge.

He once invited a score of his friends and their families, who had been insisting for a party in return for the longest time, to his spacious apartment. To his friends, it was long overdue. They expected a grand party after all Piyush and family had been to each of their places, not once but several times over in the last few years. And whenever anyone said: ‘This weekend let’s meet at Piyush’s place’, Piyush was either travelling, not well, someone was staying over at his place, or his old and ailing parents were visiting them.

With sky-high expectations, all of Piyush’s invitees reached his place on the date and time they had been invited. He had asked Vijay - his buddy from the forces, to get three or four bottles of whiskey from his canteen. He had asked another buddy, Bunty - who had been struggling to sell his imported, and hence expensive beer, to bring a few crates of beer. As it happened, Bunty had been unable to sell his large stock and the beer crates were near the expiry date. Soon, Anita arrived with six packets of wafers. What had happened was, on her way to Piyush’s place she got a call from him. He’d said: “My bad dearie. I just forgot to get some chips. It’s a must-have with the whiskey Vijay is getting. Do me a favour. Be a doll. Just pick up about six packets of wafers on your way here.”

The evening at Piyush’s was all set to begin. The décor was welcoming. An ikat print rug here, a decorative throw there, a bunch of red roses in one corner exuded a fine fragrance and a solitary yellow flower with a tall stick in a crystal vase was greeting the friends. As the friends began to stream in, the evening warmed up.

Piyush, as was his nature, announced: “I will raise a toast to Vijay first. He does a stellar job in being a part of the forces. It’s because of him that we get to enjoy our freedom in this country. Friends, a big hand for him and to all our brethren who serve the nation.” A round of applause came Vijay’s way. Some even graciously stood up. Vijay’s heart swelled with pride. He thanked Piyush for giving him the honour in his gathering. Piyush continued: “And folks the fine whiskey you are enjoying is from Vijay’s canteen. Do remember to thank him. And it’s a challenge. Let’s together finish the bottles today. We will all sign on the empty bottles and hand over the bottles to Vijay to grace his mantle for him to remember this grand evening.”

Next, Piyush said: “And those ladies and gentlemen who are opting to have beer and not the whiskey, be it known that it’s my best bud Bunty who’s got it. Do you know, he left his cushy job in the US and has started his own work here in Bangalore? We all must come forward and support his venture. Taste the beer today. I’m sure you’ll love it. I’ve had the privilege to have it with Bunty a couple of times. Trust me, you will be glad you came to this party where you had the special privilege to have this beer. Enjoy it, there’s an entire crate waiting to be picked up today. The night is young. And do spread the word for Bunty. It’ll do a world of good for his venture. Any publicity is good. Right, Bunty? Feel free to seek his details and place your orders for your next party.”

He then took Bunty aside and said: “Boss! We’ve killed two birds with one stone. I’ve helped you get rid of your near expiry stock. In a few weeks, all these crates will be of no good to you. And secondly, I’ve got you connected to so many folks in this party. Now they are all your potential customers. All of them throw big parties and very frequently. You have a huge line up now. And we can ask some of them to mention your brand on social media as well. I’m telling you, you will never have to look back.” Bunty, not very happy, said: “I think we’ve killed not two but three birds, Piyush. Apart from the two things you mentioned, you also got free beer for your party.”

After a few drinks, folks started to loosen up. Two of the spouses, one being Yamini, started to have a conversation outside the main big group. The two fine ladies, after some polite conversation, asked each other: ‘Is this at all Piyush’s party? Every guest seems to have sponsored something or the other. But he’s got some style, he’s making every guest feel so honoured. It’s only he who can do it with such panache. He’s almost providing a platform for free publicity. Only he can get away like this. He has the gift to make it sound like he’s done a favour to all his friends. Some cheek.’

In the other balcony, Jaya and Shirin were huddled. They knew each other since a very long time. They had been batchmates in Patna. Shirin, looking to vent something out, said: “I quite dislike that Piyush and Nandita very often come to our place. And it’s still okay if they come, but they bring 2-3 random friends of their along. The frequency has increased in the last few months. Piyush or Nandita will call and say: ‘We’re dropping by to have your coffee. You make the world’s best coffee.’ And Piyush, as you know him well too, adds: ‘We are giving you an opportunity to practice your coffee-making. I will give you feedback on how to improve or how to get better at coffee-making.” Shirin asked: “Can you imagine?” Jaya, playing the role of her sounding board, suggested: “Next time either of them calls and says they are dropping by, try telling them you are not home.” A furious Shirin continued: “You think we’ve not done that? They say – ‘Super! We’ll join you wherever you are. We can together have some fun.’ Once when they came home and wanted to have cold coffee with ice cream, I was rude and said that I don’t have any ice cream in my fridge. He had an easy solution to that also. He asked the friend who was accompanying him: ‘Naren, I think you must drive to the nearest outlet and get us a vanilla ice-cream brick. It’s one of the rare days Shirin’s fridge isn’t stocked. Only if you quickly get us the ice cream, will you get to enjoy the world’s best cold coffee. And since this is the first time you are visiting Shirin, I think you

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must get her something also. She is a very sweet lady. In order for you to have her best coffee, the least you can do is rush and get the ice cream.’ Naren, a bit embarrassed, drove and fetched an ice-cream brick. I had no option but to make them all a coffee with a few refills also. I’m telling you there’s no escaping these two.” Jaya thought for a few seconds, and all she could say was: “Hmmm. Let’s see what they have for us tonight. For once we are the guests.”

Shivani came to the balcony for some fresh air and joined them just when they were closing the conversation. Shirin and Jaya shared in brief what they had been discussing. That’s all Shivani needed. She was waiting for this opportunity. She wanted to let them both know what her experiences were. She started: “You know he never forgets birthdays and anniversaries. Year after year he always wishes me and Sahil for our birthdays and anniversaries. So many times Piyush and Nandita have piled on during our special dinners. They call to wish us and when we say we are at this place for a dinner, they’ve landed up too. On arriving, the exuberant couple says: “We are here to make your special day even more special. What’s a celebration without friends?”

Quite a few similar conversations took place that evening. It was an open secret that all that Piyush had done was provide his place, a beautifully done up one at that, no denying. Rest was all brought in by his friends.

Music was in abundance. A guest also took to being the DJ and made the evening very entertaining and lively.

Finally, it was time for dinner. All the guests were expecting a decent, if not great, spread. They were hungry and were looking forward to a good meal. After taking their places on the dining table, a big steaming bowl came in. It was delicately placed on the table. Some thought it could be Biryani, but the aroma eluded them. Some thought it’s a steamboat like dish, but at home? Others wondered what it could be. Or was it the first among many things that’ll soon be served?

Piyush was at one side of the dining table and announced: “We’ve made a special veg pulao for today’s dinner. It will remind you of your days in Delhi, UP and Bihar. None of us gets this kind of rice and preparation in Bangalore. You will remember this preparation for a long, long time. Help yourself guys. And there’s a lovely jeera raita to accompany the special pulao as well.”

He was beaming with happiness and almost expecting people to squeal with delight. None gave his desired expectation. Bunty said: “Yaar, at least Biryani kar dete. Veg Pulao? Kya yaar.” Not one to cow down, Piyush responded: “I wanted to serve the best of Biryani and Kababs today. Why do you think it’s all so simple today? I lost my maasi’s devar last week. We are in the mourning period. Hence no celebration and definitely no non-veg. But trust me this is a brilliant preparation. Go ahead serve yourself, enjoy.”

Left with no choice, the guests poured themselves a helping. It was a well-made pulao, but their expectations of a grand dinner were not met. It was a regular meal and pretty much what lunch or dinner at their homes looks like when the cook does not turn up and something is put together in a jiffy.

Other than Bunty no one said anything. But clearly most were disappointed.

Dinner done, Piyush called everyone to sign on the now empty whiskey bottle. Everyone wrote something or the other. Last to sign was Piyush who wrote: ‘What a party. An unforgettable evening.’ As he was about to hand over the empty signed bottle to Vijay, Vijay said: “It’s been a lovely and memorable evening. I think you should keep this bottle. This bottle should adorn your house, not mine.” Vijay thought to himself: ‘Why should I store an empty bottle? It’s Piyush’s friends who’ve signed it. All of them are not even my friends.’

Vijay called Piyush a month later. Cheerfully, among other things, he said: “Buddy! What a party that night it was. Now I’m waiting to be invited to your 40th. So, where’s that special party? You touch the big 40 this time.” Expecting such a question from not just Vijay but several others, he had his response ready: “Yeah! 40th this time. Nandita has planned this one to be special for me. So, we are off to Coorg for a quiet holiday on 5th. We leave early on 5th and are back over the next weekend.

Few months later, Piyush received an invite from Bunty, for a dinner at an Italian restaurant. It was a very famous chain that had just been inaugurated in Bangalore. Piyush read the message aloud to Nandita: ‘New in town, La Italia is now open. You are invited for an evening of food and drinks on 4th of July at 8 PM.’ Eyes twinkling with glee, he continued telling his wife of 15 years: “Ah! Lovely. Look, we won’t have to wait for unsuspecting friends to call us for dinner there. Bunty must be feeling sorry for his comment at our last party, ‘Yaar, at least Biryani kar dete. Veg Pulao? Kya yaar’. He shouldn’t have said that. I’m sure he is regretting saying that and this is his peace offering. Never mind. We’ll forgive him. Let’s get ready for our next free meal. We will have fun.” Both chuckled.

The evening of 4th of July, Piyush and Nandita, dressed in their evening best headed to La Italia, following Google Maps. It was a new place and even the party folks like them had not been there yet. They reached exactly at 8. At the reception desk of La Italia when they mentioned they had been invited by Bunty to a party, they were directed to a small enclosure in the lawns. Both Piyush and Nandita were very impressed. A lavender canopy bedecked with flowers and soft music was indeed very inviting. They seemed to be the first one there. Piyush whispered to Nandita: “Folks are late even to free dinners.” They smiled to each other and sat down in the middle of the seating arrangement, meant for 25-30 guests. He said: “Food and drinks are best accessible from the centre of the table rather than on any one side.”

A loud and collective “Surprise!! Happy Birthday, Piyush!!”, shook Piyush and Nandita both. They saw 30 of their friends who had suddenly emerged from behind the canopy to greet Piyush for his birthday that was tomorrow – 5th of July. Initially shaken, Piyush then thanked everyone and hugged his buddies who had put together this surprise birthday for him. True to his nature, he announced: “Thank you my friends. I am indeed touched by this loving gesture. I feel blessed to have friends like you who make my special day so special. Thank you so much.”

Music that Piyush loved was playing now. And then the bar was declared open. Two bartenders from La Italia served drinks and cocktails. There were severs who brought in food. Starters and main courses, like Caprese salad with pesto sauce, Panzanella, bruschetta, focaccia bread, pasta carbonara, Margherita pizza, mushroom risotto, pasta con pomodoro e basilico, and several thin-crust pizzas.

Everyone was enjoying and having fun. Loads of stories about Piyush were shared, from his school and college days, how he had wooed Nandita and his many other stories that made his life journey.

A huge tiramisu cake and panna cotta came as dessert. Piyush was given the honour to cut them both. The group of friends collectively sang “Happy Birthday, Piyush” loudly and with great cheer. One by one everyone again wished Piyush a very happy birthday and by 11 PM, all guests had left as next day being Monday was a working day for them and their kids had school too. Only Bunty and Vijay were around. They were stuffed to the gills with so much eating, they could now converse in Italian.

Last to leave were Bunty and Vijay. Just after ensuring their phones are with them, almost in unison, they said: “Piyush man! What a lovely party. We all enjoyed so much. What a great evening. We know you since so long, that we thought only you can be so gracious to want to celebrate your birthday with us, close buddies. We took pains to choose a venue, choose the menu, right from starters to the dessert of your choice. We couldn’t decide which one you like more, tiramisu or panna cotta, so we thought what the heck, let’s have both. And we invited everyone we knew are your friends. Thank you so much buddy!”

Noticing the sweat on his brow, Bunty said: “And do settle the bills man. The party was in your honour. We can’t thank you enough. Have a great birthday tomorrow,” and left with Vijay.

It hit Piyush hard that his friends had taught him a lesson. A lesson, his friends hoped, that would change his behaviour to be a freeloader, once and for all.