Feelings

I went like I didn't care and wanted to meet him finally! I missed him, our friendship days when we fought like Tom and Jerry. I missed making his favorite cup of coffee with 2 cubes of sugar, and a strong smell of the coffee.

The movies we watched together had a genre. It was all about spending time in the blanket at night since watching the movie was just an excuse we gave to our parents but that time instead we used to talk about the problems we had in our life. We were all sorted. Our college, degree, dreams, but our feelings differed and that was something that parted us. 

It was 11th July 2006, a rainy day and we couldn't see each other's tears. 

Arun called to tell me that he had something that I couldn't miss knowing. I thought he had already guessed my feelings for him that I loved him more than just best friends. I got ready and never felt so happy ever before. But now that it's been 3 years I never want to remember that day. 

I walked up to the restaurant, I never knew that life would get us a chance to meet again. Arun called me for the first after the day of 2006.

It was yesterday that he called me, my ears were blessed to hear his voice I waited for this but never expected. He said, " Hi, Shika! This is Arun here." 

I was silent I wanted to hear more from him but then I swallowed and replied, " Hey, Arun, it's hard to believe but it's you! How have you been?"

He took a deep breath and said, " I'm cool, What about you?"

I said, " I'm just good. How did you call me after such a long time?"

He said, " Ya, long time no see! Let's meet up, decide on a venue I know you are good at like always." 

 I smiled, " Arun is it you, are you saying that I thought after that day you won't even think of me!"

He instantly said, " No way, how can I ever forget you? You were the only person I trusted." 

I paused and said, " Okay, let's meet." 

We said 'take care' to each other on the call and hung it. 

And here my google map showed 5 mins far to the destination. And walking fast I reached. I shivered that what happened that day was something I could have stopped because it was only my feelings for him that I could have kept with me but I didn't and I was the reason to break our 5-year friendship. 

We meet that day and we both had the same excitement. Seeing him blush I told him, "You go first!" 

And he said, "No, first you tell me!" 

I insisted and he went first, " I finally proposed Trigya! And guess what?"

She said yes. 

Trigya was the same girl Arun met on the Tinder app but he assured me that he was not going to be serious with her at any point in time but feelings change.

He held my hand with excitement and I held my heart for not to cry. I murmured but it was enough clear for Arun to hear, "But I thought you loved me!" 

I had tears in my eyes pouring down my cheek and he slowly left my hands to just walk away. After that day we never met the very same day I got shifted with my parents to a different state. 

I slowly forgot him but still loved him. I promised my heart that one day Arun will understand my love for him. 

And here today I was climbing the stairs of the restaurant to meet him. I was just one table away. 

I stopped to search for him and walked ahead but the smell of the coffee got me to take a few steps back. It was Arun, the best friend I loved. 

He was there wearing a white shirt, an orange tie sipping the same coffee we used to have. He had ordered one other coffee placed on the opposite side of the table I could see. 

And he smiled, hugged me, and sat. It was all remembered. I knew he remembered and he didn't change. 

He started, " Feeling never change Shika!"

I smiled, confused about what he was talking about. 

I asked, " Sorry, Arun you okay? What feelings are you talking about?"

He smiled, "Shika, don't act innocent. You knew I loved you but still, you never asked me!" 

I replied, " Did you know that I loved you?" 

He came closer, " It was hard to accept that we were so close friends that we always expressed feelings about others but we could not express our feelings for each other? 3 years, no call, no message."

I replied, " You left me speechless, I lost trust in you Arun. After all that you did, what do you expect from me?

He replied, " There is one truth that I never wanted to lie to you! And it was that I lost guts to tell you to take that I was moving to Canada for further studies. And you confessed it on that same day. I didn't know what to say. To hide my feelings I told you that I proposed to the Tinder girl but I was not able to handle the fact that you loved me back and would have expressed my feelings to you that very day then probably I would have to tell you that I was leaving to stay in Canada. The later situation would not have been in my control. I never wanted to lose you."

I cried in silence to listen to him. That day our tears spoke to each other. I realized. How to save a relationship a person expresses his/ her feelings whereas the other person might hide his/ her feelings. To be in a relationship your status should not change to change the person and feelings in you.