December Diaries

My winter diaries often open with a secret note ...because it has you in it My first love. I do not know where you are and what do you now. I love that anonymity that prevails between us. You can easily find me but may be like these snowflakes I must have got melted away from your thoughts.

The winter we had is very unlike the winter I go through here, frozen grey, black and white. Maples and pines in deep meditation and me in contemplation of a vivid arena of life. Those mornings when I was just turning 15 was made more beautiful by the diamond like dew drops on the grass blade.

When did I see you, a boy just two or three years elder than me. You were tall and handsome, and girls loved you. You the fascination of those days.

Yes, so vehemently and so fervid those memories touch me like feathers, arousing a picture I would paint with rainbow. Those days I winter people went to Sabari mala being girl who attained menarche I could not go, and you being born to Christian mother and Hindu father too were not in that spiritual journey. 

When I wrote you my first love letter, full moon was peeping through my window, I could hear sea howling, I could feel the fragrance of night lilies. I drafted it so special hid in my book binder and left it down while our auto rickshaw passed our apartment gate. I knew you would be waiting with your bicycle.

Slowly we started meeting on my way to my math tuition. I was best in my studies, and you were slowly invading my thoughts, becoming a sweet sensation. A passion unforgettable, a thirst difficult to quench. I still remember when I saw your eyes and we spoke for less than split of a second fearing our neighbors doing moral policing.

We exchanged our love through letters.....there was no phone nor any computer as these days of 5G waves. 

But Alas! my parents caught me red handed...I felt so sad my tuition is over were used to keep jasmine on my long hairs for you. I was beaten blue and black ...and shifted to a relative's home.

It was the end of it the last time I saw you I was engaged to Siddharth, and you smiled at me.

You remind me in my forties of the ice creams we had together pur hidden meetings and chats for hours.

When it is December the mango groves flower, special flowers bloom. Night is star lighten and I remember you my first love ...my love at first sight ...

Where are you 

What are you

I write you in to December diaries.