Can love be hated?

13th December, 2019

11:55 pm

Life is so confusing, so surprising. You know, it makes you crave for that one thing you've never thought of and at another moment, you don't want it at all. For me, that thing is love. Love was miles away from me but then everything in your life doesn't happen as per your expectations. I've never ever thought he would come into my life. I was so happy, finally. But then, the happy moments vanished like a dream. He left. And eventually, love too. Finally after much venting out my helplessness, anger, frustration, I've decided that love is getting out of my life permanently. Enough of all this, I've to focus on my career. 

Geeta closed her diary and leaned backwards on her study chair as if she's completely relaxed. And actually, she was feeling relaxed. Since class 6th, when puberty has taken a toll on her too early and no one was there to validate her emotions, her diary has been her true best friend. From her first crush to abandonment by her friends because she stood against wrongs and with herself, being accused of stealing tiffin to stealing boyfriends, first infatuation to first love, it was still there for her. She wondered for a while how being attached to a non living thing rather than a living being is so peaceful. 

"Let's go to sleep. " she told herself, set an alarm for 4:40 am tomorrow and went to sleep. 

Meanwhile, someone somewhere was still musing on his lost love. 

                

"Are you participant or from audience? "

"Participant"

"Okk. Here's your coupon ticket."

Geeta went inside the hall where the open mic was organized and took her seat. The organizer came and started the event. 

"Hello people!"

"Hello! " everyone said in unison. 

"Umm... seems that everyone is quite excited. Okay, so am I! It would be a great pleasure to hear out all of you tonight. So without giving further any extra cheesy welcome speech, I would like to call upon the stage, Rishav, who's quite frequent here and would also make you a bit comfortable. Welcome him! "

Claps echoed through the hall. But Geeta was strangely calm as soon as she saw Rishav. ' Must be some hopeless lover type' she thought to herself. 

"Hello, namaskar, and Adaab! I know I sound like some RJ, but honestly I'm a humble writer of all the feelings for the one whom I loved. And most importantly, welcome and kudos to all of you who have gathered the courage to speak out what they feel because I was a complete loser in that. I've just started getting perfect. So, if you're good to be regular here, start learning to bear with me and my overflowing emotions. "

'Why don't you just recite your piece and get off from the stage with your love bullshit'. Geeta was completely pissed off.

" I knew about love

 When I saw you

 With that smile so pristine 

 And eyes sparkling with innocence 

 ..........."

While his words seemed mesmerizing to everyone there, Geeta was the only one who was getting irritated more and more. 

"Today is a bad day, I guess. This guy is just pissing me off. Love is not a fairytale. I guess he's always like this- roaming in a fairyland."

                 ******

She was finally relieved that this open mic ended with loads of appreciation. As she was just making her way out, someone called from behind. 

"Hey Geeta.. "

She turned around and was amazed. Rishav was calling her out.

"Yes?"

" Your piece was amazing. I must agree that you have a wonderful sense of observation and interpreting broken things too... in a beautiful way obviously. "

"Thanks. But I'm sorry. I didn't liked your piece. It was too dreamy. "

" Areyy, it's okay. Not everyone can understand the beauty of love, I guess. " he said smiling, looking into her eyes. 

"Ya.. Wait..what? You want to say I have no understanding of love? "

"If you keep talking like this with rage in your eyes and fingers pointing towards me, then I guess I would be beaten up by some stranger well wishers and I don't want that. So can we sit and talk somewhere, there's a cafe nearby, shall we? "

Geeta agreed, but she didn't know why did she agree to sit with a stranger and have a talk about the thing for which she hadn't left any place in her heart. They went to that café . As soon as they were seated, she started interrogating him. 

"So, why do you think I don't understand love? "

"Relax! You're being too much serious now. Let's get to the topic after some tea or coffee.. "

"Coffee "

He ordered one cup of tea for him and a cup of black coffee for her. 

"You know, I loved this girl, Rupali, in our college. She was like a bit of everything - simple yet elegant, sober yet rebellious, gives respect and fights for respect too, everything. She was like my dream girl. I knew this girl would understand me completely. And she did too, but as a good friend. We knew each other like no one. But when I decided to confess my feelings to her, I got to know that she loved someone else and they were together for 4 years. So, I didn't tell her anything. "

"So, this was your love story? Not even been in a relationship and you were teaching me what love is, damn silly, huh? "

"So tell about your love story. "

" Okk, I loved him for two years without telling him my feelings and I didn't wanted to tell him also. But.. "

"But? "

"But my friends got to know about my feelings and they constantly told me that I should confess and know what's going on in his mind. And they tried so hard that I gave in. I confessed him and he took only 5 minutes to think about it and accepted my feelings. I was so happy, you know. Everything was going fine. We were in 2 years of relationship, that too a long distance one. But then I don't know why, he started acting weird and eventually broke up with me. I tried to convince him. I asked him what can I do to save our relationship. I begged him that this can't get over like this. But he was adamant. So after a long time, I lost hope too. "

"Do you still love him? "

"No. Not at all. I'm over him. "

"You're such a liar, you know? "

"I'm not lying. "

"You are"

"I'm not! "

" You're such a fool, you know. I've not been in a relationship but I know what love is. It's not something that two persons can have between them. It's a feeling that is with you all the time since you meet the person who seems right for you. And I can see the sparkle in your eyes while you were talking about him. That sparkle in you eyes clearly tells that you still love him. And it's okay. It should not be embarrassing that you still love him even after he left you all alone. Love can't be hated. Love can't be gotten over. It's an eternal feeling that makes you feel better in your bad days, makes you even happier when you dive into the ocean of nostalgia. Love is love, my dear. I couldn't get my love. Your love also was left incomplete. But when we are talking about that person that came to our lives, even not for ever, we feel good, isn't it? "

"Yes, maybe. "

"Definitely yes. Not maybe. Okay. Don't hate love. It's a wonderful feeling. "

Geeta wasn't ready for this. She never thought like this about love. And strangely, she agreed with Rishav. He was right. 

After a heavy philosophical conversation, they set out to their homes. 

"Nice to meet you!"

"nice to meet you too:)"