Being Perfect

Saswata has always believed in being perfect at everything. And today he wants to seal that once and for all by overcoming his fear of heights.

A full moon night and it's 12 midnight. Saswata slowly climbed and stood at the edge of the walls of the terrace. He has been staying in this building for last 10 years now. But seldom he has come to the terrace. The only reason has been his tremendous fear of heights. And that was the main reason for him to opt for a second floor flat in this high rise. But today when he was determined to win over his fear, what best than to stand at the edge of the terrace walls of a 22 storied building and spend some time.

His heart started pounding fast. He was making a constant effort not to look down. It took him huge mental strength to make himself come this far in order to win his fear. He doesn’t want to ruin it now.

He looked up at the night sky. The sky never looked so beautiful before. The brightness of the moon was as if lighting up his soul. The stars around seemed into a conversation with each other with their constant blinks. He purposefully chose midnight. He didn’t want any of the residents know about his this effort. Slowly he stretched his hands out in either directions. The cold wind of the December was getting stronger and he wanted to feel it. At one time he felt that the wind will dis balance him but he was careful of not letting it happen.

“My city seems so different now”, he said to himself. He has never experienced this mood of the city. He has always seen this city full of noise, chaos and running after time. At this hour of a winter night the city has gone quiet except for few sudden horns and noise of the cars passing by the streets. Far across he saw the lights of a flat of another building going off.

“Another family goes to sleep with a hope of a better tomorrow.” He murmured.

He looked around and found few more lights here and there going off. His building being one of the tallest around that locality, he could see a long distance from where he was standing.

“My city is beautiful … wish I had come here earlier and more often”. He was still careful not to look down. He looked up at the sky once again. The moon this time seemed lonely and sad.

" Ah you moon .. So you are hiding your pain inside with a glowing smile."

The moon took him to his childhood days.

“That’s your Chand Mama” his mother used to say and point while feeding him with her own hand. And Saswata sitting on her mother’s lap used to gaze at it for minutes. They used to stay in a hut and the sky seemed so huge. What a lovely childhood he had. Not much demands and yet so happy. He closed his eyes, visualised those days and exclaimed to himself …..

I had a Perfect Childhood.

His thoughts were interrupted by the barks of dogs across the road. He opened his eyes. "Bozo …. My dog," he remembered. How he used to love him. He best friend for a long long time. Their lives changed once his father had a great success in a startup business and they were able to move to a bigger home. He got admitted to a reputed school but he never let go off Bozo, the street dog he once rescued. He was good in studies but always felt out of place is school. Hence never been able to make friends. Bozo was his only friend. But he was happy and for him it was the ….

Perfect School Life.

Things changed in college. Lot more competition and he realized its time to build his career. He had a clear mindset of what he wanted from life. He wanted to make it big ... really big in the corporate world. He had an obsession of having a perfect career and life. And then he met Nilanjana. But to him priorities were clear and he made Nilanjana aware of that from the very beginning of their relationship. His dedication and focus made him reach the pinnacle of career where he is now. The youngest CEO ever of one of the most respected brands of the country.

“Ahhh…. A Perfect career" he thought.

He started feeling cold now. The breeze has started to intensify and he is only having a light pull over to cover him. He clasped his arms and started rubbing it and when he noticed the pullover he is wearing. “Isn’t this the one Nilanjana gave me on our 20th anniversary last year?” he thought, “Good that I am wearing it today”.

“I had a wonderful married life ! Exactly the one all looks for” He realised. Lots of togetherness , short trips and long vacations, Night out with family friends, happening weekends, 3 movies a month, frequent dine outs, lavish long drives. What more can 1 ask for.

“PERFECT !!!!!” He said.

He looked up at the sky. Not much time for the dawn to set in. He looked back and down at the terrace floor. A step back and he is back to his mundane life but with a little difference now.

His so called Perfect world, will not remain perfect any more. He has been asked to put down his papers first thing in the morning following a bad deal which has cost his company a huge loss in terms of credibility and brand value. Nilanjana suddenly realised that she has a better life ahead with one of Saswata’s colleagues and wants to get separated from him. He is suppose to sign the divorce papers tomorrow.

Saswata hated imperfection.

"Till I am alive I will not let things go away from this perfect state. Resigning is tomorrow , signing divorce papers is tomorrow. Till today , I was perfect in all aspect of life except when it comes to this fear of height" He told to himself, " But now I have overcome that too "

Saswata looked down for the first time and realised that there’s no fear in him now. Happy, he stretched out his hands and shouted his heart out

"I am Perfect today"

Then he closed his eyes one last time, took a deep breath and took his final step

Forward.