Baddi Shyama

I was surprised at how easily Arti was able to carry out activities at height with even one foothold. I have to have both footholds and at least one hand to hold onto something stable and rigid. First I need to use all four limbs to get stable and then release a hand to do any work. If I need two hands to carry out work at height, only god can help me. It takes a lot of time to stabilize on two legs. First I need to convince myself that, I am on very firm footing like on stable earth, and release one hand then slowly release the second hand in support of the first hand in carrying out the work.

***

I was on inspection of work carried out on a project. My site manager was guiding me through the work done. Maybe we were at a height of about 23-25 M without any protective railing. One of my colleagues went towards the edge and carefully looked down for something. The manager casually commented: "Do you need a crane to hold you back to enable you to look down", I felt this sentence was directed towards me, I used to feel insecure going towards the edge without proper support for holding.

***

I was in the "Team Building Program" at IIM in Bengaluru. Our team was asked to climb onto a branch of a big tree in a forest location. The only condition was not to use any implements. The intent, probably, was to see how the team approaches the problem. Our team approached the tree. Someone was inspecting for holds/ footholds, someone was trying to support each other to climb. This tree reminded me of my childhood and my childhood nickname Baddi Shyama.

***

We were living in a mutt (a Hindu Monastery). It had ample open space, about five big trees (like the tamarind tree) bearing edible fruits, and an open well surrounded by a masonry wall compound as a boundary to it. I had four friends from two families living in the vicinity, who used to come to math to play. We were in the age group of 7-10 years. We five friends used to call ourselves Pandavas, We used to spend a lot of time together in the mutt. Playing, fighting,...Climbing trees and eating tender tamarind leaves (called chiguru, which tastes more or less like tamarind) and fruits were part of our routine. Eldest used to engage us with fictional stories involving our own characters. These stories were extempore based on wild imagination. I used to enjoy these stories and used to contribute with my own stories, occasionally.

As a child (even now) I was scared of unstable footing. Tree trunks being big and highly stable never posed any problem in climbing it. When it comes to moving forward to branches--which move with slight force--was very scary. My friends used to climb high up but I used to get stuck at top of the trunk. Dharmaraja (eldest of the Pandavas) even used to encourage me with the promise of a story with me as the main character to climb up and join them. The progress was very slow. It took me more than six months to come out of my phobia of instability on a tree. When I realized that, the tree is not going to make me fall, I became more sure of my footings and move and jump from one branch to another like a monkey on a tree. However, my phobia of unstable footings earned me the nickname of Baddi Shyama. Baddi means the trunk of a tree.

***

My title and experience of childhood gave me enough confidence to climb up the tree and started to climb the trunk. Clamoring around the tree my teammates were obstructing me. A senior person could judge my move to climb with confidence. He started to give footholds and soon others started supporting the action. I even put a step on his shoulder. After about six feet of climbing, I was on my own. My teammates were cheering for my progress. After another five to six feet of clawing up the tree trunk, I was on top of it. There was nothing to hold. Now my basic instincts of instability rouse in me. My heartbeat rate jumped up. I cannot keep holding the trunk with my both hands indefinitely. I had to move forward to a branch without anything to hold. I was trembling. It took more than six months to become an expert climber during childhood. I used all that experience to walk on a horizontal tree branch. I had to convince myself that the branch I was walking is sturdy enough to take my weight and that if I walk normally, I should be able to balance. With great persuasion, I took three steps after which I could hold on to another branch of the tree at a convenient height.

My teammates threw a rope ladder for me to climb down. All were ecstatic.  Someone felt my pulse and said it is not less than 180. The whole exercise from trunk top to walking a few steps on a branch and then coming down must have taken about two minutes but it was fearful two minutes.

We were declared as the best team after a few events involving the trust of teammates, etc. 

***

I am not a coward. I do many acts without any hesitation, which many people fear to do or do not do because of fear. Balancing for me is tough. Whenever there is need of carrying out activities involving self-balancing, Arti prefers to do it herself. For some reason I have to do it, it needs a lot of self-persuasion and high concentration.