Teenage Love

I liked her company.  

Her smile, her frankness, her concerns, etc. reinforced my craving for the same.  I never let off an opportunity to be with her. 

She used to draw water from a well and carry it home every day—may be about 100 M distance—for about 10 times. I somehow used to manage to stand on the way to see her soothing smile every time. Because of this eagerness to see her, I used to be losing in the play of hide and seek. I preferred to seeking than hiding (during this period) to manage to smile at her each time. When she is not seen on these water trips, I used to go to her house to find out her health.

Once she asked me whether I would accompany her to hospital for inoculation against filarial elephantiasis.  Though I had the inoculation done already, I went along with her for re-inoculation.  My friends used to ridicule me about this incident for long time.

She never used to shy away from me, which cocooned my belief that she loves me. I never had courage to express my love to her in words but hinted enough to her.  She neither discouraged nor encouraged me.

I had to leave the village for higher studies.  Whenever I used to come back home—during holidays—I used to make it a point to meet her.  I sensed her cold-shouldering my advances, on few occasions.  Some of my friends told me that, she is having an affair with another person.  They went to the extent that, she had aborted her child against the wishes of her lover.  I refused to believe the stories.  I was so blindly in love with her; I used to snub the person bringing such stories to me and never ever tried to verify veracity of the stories either directly or indirectly.

During my engineering I heard that, she is engaged.  The groom was from the city where his elder brother (he was a friend of mine) was working and I was doing engineering.  At that stage, finding enough money and time to go to other end of city to meet her was very tough. Still I managed.  I was so pleased to meet her after a long time.  I was trying to muster enough courage to tell her to wait for me for another two years.  I was not sure, whether she had enough love/ affection still left for me. I tried very hard to convey the feelings through actions and through eyes.  Her response was only a sweet smile. During a bus ride (along with her family members) she chose to sit beside me.  Her soft touches during the bumpy ride brought back my sweet memories with her.  At the end of the ride, I realised that she was protecting herself with her hand.  I was disappointed. She probably meant; it is too late. 

We never had any physical relationship, only enjoyed each other’s company.   Now I am living happy married life. I have shared these incidences with my wife.  Even after 30 years are past, I still get emotional and love-stricken when I remember her.

I have met her during this intervening phase, numerous times, during family functions. She becomes extra friendly, whenever we meet. My wife becomes uncomfortable. I am very nervous…..