2020 Cricket Like Tale from the MahaBharat

2020 Cricket Like Tale from the MahaBharat

Heavens (believe it or not)

Sanjaya excitedly called out for Dritarashtra and announced the beginning of yet another Mahabharata war in 2020 in the land of Gurukshetra. He said that the PM had declared the war against COVID and it would be over in just 21 days. It remains to be seen how this new promise would be fulfilled, he added with a wink of his eyes. Of course, like the Dritrashtra people were also blind in the nation of 1.4 billion population. Sanjaya after the above preface, began his narration.

Somewhere in Mumbai, 2020

The Governor of the Rising Banking Collapse (RBC) said enough is enough. He called for a moratorium on moratorium of interest on loan. Nobody is interested in what the RBC is doing. It was all becoming one tamasha. Irony was that the latest bank to collapse of all the banks was Lakshmi (goddess of wealth) Vilas Bank. If wealth collapses what will happen to the health of economy, he wondered.

The banking sector requires a deep surgery. He set up a meeting with the Director of Ayush who was in the news recently for his statement that Ayurvedic Doctors can perform surgery. Dr Charaka, Director Ayush said “these days it has become fashionable to scoff at anything ‘desi’. How many people know that Sushruta performed a plastic surgery in 600 BC?” “Even I didn’t know” admitted the Director of RBC. After his meeting with Dr Charaka, Director RBC was not only got wizened but his ‘desi’ quotient went up by a notch.

Two weeks later

In the village of Asoal-Fatehpur there was a buzz. Financial institutions of repute were queueing up to recruit the young men and women as bouncers. In the pre-COVID era the youth of this village were known for the bouncer like quality in the Gurgaon and Noida area only and they were recruited by the local pubs there. Now that moratorium end has been called for, the financial institutions were beginning to flex their muscles, rather of their new recruits. The village youth were being offered a modified salary package. There would be a basic pay and a surge bonus. The surge bonus indicates bonus for exceeding target, plus TO and FRO flight ticket, free masks, free vaccination whenever, breakfast with four eggs and a tall glass of cow milk free.

The village sarpanch was so happy that he offered his youngest son as a free service of a bouncer to the Director, RBC. The sarpanch wanted the RBC Director to bounce back under any circumstances. So, what many more banks are on the risks of becoming “fallen angels.” The term “fallen angels” means a lower rating with negative outlook. The rating agencies are not only moody but are good at euphemisms as the example above indicated.

Somewhere near Madurai, deep South

Not to be left behind the Sarpanch of the Alanganallur village from Madurai offered the services of the village youth for taming the bull. It was noted by economist and investors that the SENSEX was running amuck like a bull in a ‘China’ shop. Intelligence agencies were wondering if the bull run had a foreign hand considering the figure of speech. Alanganallur was famous for the annual ‘jallikattu’ a desi sports event where the youth tame ferocious bulls. Connoisseur of films would note that the Indian entry for Oscar this year was a Malayalam film by the same name. Like all else that happens in the country this nomination too received likes and dislikes in the social media.

Rajdhani

When the Home Minister stepped out for an early morning walk, he smelt something foul in the air. It was not the smell of the customary air pollution, which he was used to. Later in his office he read a confidential report about sudden long queues seen in the immigration offices across the country. The report read that who-is-who among the borrowers were there in the queues. Chanakya that he is he could relate the foul smell that he felt in the morning with that of the moratorium on moratorium announced by the RBC, Director. He then and there dialled Ms Raman and apprised her of the confidential report. Ms Raman, 35th among the globally powerful women, was feeling quite helpless in 2020. Her wicket tally in the score board was not ticking at all. She had tried the slower one, the faster one, bouncer, yorker but the pitch remained a dud and the economy did not pick up pace at all. It was all the more embarrassing that her boss was not making the right pitch for foreign investment and befuddling the issue by adding atmanirbharta to the scene.

Yogi comes to Bollywood

As if the theatrics in his own state was not enough the famous Yogi came to the Bollwood head- quarters to invite them over for filmi operas in the ‘expresspradesh.’ Latest release on love-jihad is already making waves. The grapevine was that the first film to be launched would be Ramayana coinciding with the Kumbabhishegam of the Ram Temple at Ayodhya slated for 2024, a few months before the general elections are due. The Yogi wanted to kill many birds with one arrow, one expert commentator had opined.

Back to Heavens

Dritarashtra commented “so much happening like in 2020 cricket. Wish people and I weren’t blind to these events and the real meaning behind them.”