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The Monkey And The Groundnut
The Monkey And The Groundnut
THE MONKEY AND THE GROUNDNUT
One day a monkey confessed to the nut
"I've left my jolly capers
Right above the ground high up
A tree lofty and tall
Pray tell me where can it be?"
"O should you not see" the nut replied
As a monkey nut should
To the nut case monkey
"I live beneath the mud
Grime, dirt and grit
Bear I with a grin
A mirthful muddy countenance
As plainly you shall see contrary wise
My monkey shell unlike you
Is found in an underground cavern
Deep beneath a black tunnel
While you on the other hand defy gravity
And swing indeed from tree to tree
Rightly or wrongly quoted though
Thence can a monkey court a nut on a tree?
So beautiful and loving as me
So good and down to earth"
Challenged the nut to the nutcase monkey
But the monkey in vain
Held his head high up in the air
Proud as could be
As a strutting peacock with an emerald and ruby crown
As he glittered his nut case
For he could ape anyone I suppose
And retorted he
Most arrogant and vainly
"I love myself O pretty me
For I need not look into the mirror
I am King of Apes
When in Rome do as the Romans do
Hails my slogan that I live with of course
And definitely would not court a nut
With a name that spells me"
Thence aped the monkey his muddy brown ground nut fan
As if it possessed muscles one, two, three
Biceps and triceps
Her outer shell so lovingly
Much disgusted and reviled by his disgraceful antics
Though never was the imp of a monkey ashamed of them
I suppose never was he
Said the monkey nut to the monkey on the tree
Much chagrined I suppose
As a monkey nut should be
"Shame on ye!
You scoundrel!"
Declared she furiously
Appalled and outraged
By his beguiling antics merry as would be
Though politely and subtly
Changing her manner properly and composed she
As nitty gritty a nut should be
Without any hesitation or a stutter
Even on the subject
Flair she keenly possessed
Challenged she the ruthless monkey from arts to politics
A cunning strategy of the century 2023
With a flowery culinary lingo
Impeached the monkey and tried
But failed to convict him
In the jungle Senate
"Crack a nut thy little coy caper berry
Shall I to begin with
Before thou cracks mine"
When she learnt of the raw uncouthly rogue
An unshaven ruffian who misbehaved
"You shan't be voted a monkey president of course
However shall I sue you in a Supreme Court Definitely?
You must be admonished
And demoted in rank
Like a senator I vouch for it
So be it president
A monkey on a tree or a monkey nut below earth
To be or not to be!"
The monkey nut exclaimed in full rapture and emotion
Provoked the jolly rhapsody of the clout monkey
"Oooohoo Ahhahha!"
"Much ado about nothing"
He sighed as she cursed!
Condoned the many flaws of her witty sarcasm and exaggerations
She so wrongfully accused the naughty monkey of
In their casual tête-à-tête
With her creeping roots and its many clawed forked branches
Downstairs gripped firmly
Grapevine it grappled
The spiral stairway to hells chamber
Beneath the earth's dark muddy and musty tunnel in vain
Clinging tenaciously to her point of view
Whilst he swung from the heavens
From tendrils, vines and boughs
Along deep ravines and mountains
Between valleys and gales
That swerved through rivulets and shale's
"For you dangle up in the sky
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Instead of Jane
Holding those precious berries
Your jolly capers and funny grin
Shinning up, jolting your loins and muscles you titivate
A hoodlum for the audience
You entertaining chimpanzee!"
"Riotous and helter-skelter
You flee swinging arms one by one
As you steal from pockets their paper cone cups
Full of monkey nuts
Now wear you a cap called Amos and Pathos
You'd swear yourself to be a clown
As I sue you rightly a thousand quid
And a hundred smackeroos!
Better make up
Growing plenty of those monkey nuts you stole"
She came down hard on the Ape
Admonishing him drew the line
Before she further exhorted and proceeded to explain…….
"Or if the law shan't charge you
For petty theft and philandering
My brown tanned leather purse
Full of dollars, roubles, francs, dimes and coppers
Down my kingdom of rubbles and ancient excavations
Mohenjo-Daro and Harappa
Egyptian pyramids, sphinxes or domes
Of some mummies of ancient Pharaohs
Besides the river Nile
You Silly Dummy!
Little Ape of a Monkey!
Or even some bombed cities
Ancient churches of Rome
Where Archaeologists my stunning cavities would rarely find……
Thence shall I with my mace and clobber
Clout your nut
A rodgering
You filthy disgrace
For an ounce of a pound
Stealing
Kilos of 'em monkey nuts
You little nut case monkey
An eye for eye!
Tooth for tooth!
A pound of flesh
Shall it be!
To serve you befitting a life sentencing
Imprisoned in a gaol
Better without me
Those tasty gourmet nuts"
Said she to the monkey
But the monkey continued
Chomping gleefully in vain
Thence continuing the spree
Of the sparring episode
Said she expertly
For the monkey nut loved chattering
Just like her gibbon mate
Chatter away his rhapsody
"Oooohoo Ahhahha!"
Both indulged talkatively
"Nuts and monkeys"
"Crack shall I wide open your nut
You louse to hammer with
My bludgeon or mace
Before you heartily crush and crunch
Those tasty nuts
You disgrace! With my muscular arm
Its outer sinewy shell or carapace mace
And little nuts in its secret cavities!"
"Though it's been called a guilty pleasure
Time pass munchies by the shore side
And forgiving those bouts of flatulence
To those who somehow are repelled
And much abhor my nutty humour I carry with me
Called earthy exuberance and nut tree allergies"
But the monkey as tough as a tough nut to crack
One could not open or try to pry
With a telescope, monkey pliers or even a magnifying lens
His funny antics
Head over tails and tails over heads
Much amused his raw nutty highness
To her utter disgrace
Still continued his whims and fancies
Of pick pocketing and laundering
From caps and wallets
Paper cone cups
Those delicious monkey nuts
The monkey though adored her guts
The monkey and the groundnut!
Theirs was amorous a fling!
A nutcase and his gourmet nut
Nitty-gritty with a grin!
Cheesy and ludicrous
And therefore delightful a spar
Between the funny monkey and the witty groundnut!
Charming a couple as can be!
