Traffic Jam

TRAFFIC JAM

 

Traffic jam pickles

Were kind of jar bottles

Filled with Toyota, Honda S.U.V’s

Few outdated Ambassadors, Fiats, Chevrolets

Chryslers, Rolls Royce’s, Maruti Zen’s and Wagon R’s

Mahindra’s, Tata, Scorpio’s

Jeeps, luxury Lamborghini’s, Bugatti

Ferrari’s, trucks, Nissan’s, Lorries

Mercedes Benzes

Even buses, motor bikes, cycles and scooters

Made a super spreading of finest

Strawberry, raspberry or mulberry

Jam on toast

Or a butter knife on

A slice of bread spreads

Melting rays of orange marmalade tangerine

Suns pickled, salted sun beams

Stiff crispy breeze sometimes warm

As hot chocolate smoke

Wafting deliciously through the scented morning air

Coffee mocha or whipped latte so summery and light

Sometimes as cold as chippy iced tea served with mint

Even a cold coffee snow shake milky and white

Or sometimes as black as smog through dust whipped

Black Brew Coffee of polluted air

You relish with a dab of

Spice on buttered toast or fiery ginger biscuits

Like its eye shattering sky scraper cookies

Toasting Mugs of Coffee to STARBUCKS!

Rather Mugged$%@#!One just made it through!

You could say by skin of one’s teeth

And sheer dint of perseverance over

Speed breaker bumps

 Zigzag or crisscross

Crossroad junction Traffic jams

Noisy horns and honkers

With their honking blares

Popping out like blooming trumpets

Spontaneously from nowhere

Silencing chirps and twitters of playful birds

 

Through curvy lanes or wide welcoming streets

On stone cold roads of tar or hot and Smokey Bitumen

With famous names well spelt such as

Bit of a mouthful

Perry Cross Road, Turner Road

Hill Road, Linking Road

Marve Beach, Juhu Beach

Aksa beach, Madh Island

Amar Mahal Cross road Junctions

Sky line horizons via Carter Road and Bandstand

Promenades

Worli, Mahalaxmi, Curry Road, Bela Pur

Dadar, Mahim, Santacruz

 Parel, Andheri, Malad

Shitladevi Temple

Or Haji Ali Mosque

Marine Drive Queen’s Necklace

Chowpatty beach

Or right up to the ferry rides.........Gorai Beach

In summer solstice high tides or wintery low tides

Even the address you named

Lordship Sandhurst Road

William Mansfield, 1st Viscount Sandhurst

 Titled from its British Regime

 Grant Road, Charni Road

Matunga, Sion

Marine Lines and Church Gate

Spelled correctly, misspelt or renamed

Anytime now waiting to be rechristened

As these jinxed my faint recollection

At prime age

Just ripened as ‘Old age wines

In new bottles’

Called Traffic Jams

Faces of jolly riders on bikes, tempos and cars

Also those waiting in long queues at bus stands

Whilst basking or baking in the sunshine

Withers with perspiration

Furrow of brows and grace

 

In a bottled jar of standing ovation

By its motor vehicles at attention

In long queues and bee lines

Like a beehive reception

Hub caps and tail lights

BUMPER TO BUMPER!

Now at ease like those soldiers

Taking a breath out during March Past

Just stood out the passengers

Of the curry road highways

Persistently waiting for green to go

When red would still be at standstill

And yellow through rosy eye tinted lorgnettes

 Of sparkling white wine in bottles

To watch both sides

The traffic signal of witches and sorcerers

 

Boosted my morale

With a heavy sigh of relief

At the busy circus pandemonium of ‘Jungalees’

As if lions, tigers, wolves, owls, zebra crossing lines

Vultures, eagles, giraffes, penguins and elephants

Trumpeted and snarled with ogling eyes so many

Big, small and gigantic

Looking criss-crossedly or squint eyed

Buck toothed, jagged or straight as a fence of barbed wires

Passing through braces, stadiums

Gazing at places like frenzied shopping malls

In two minds whether or not to stop

And open your green wallet no. 9

 Hyper city Phoenix malls.....Lower Parel

Kamala mill compound.....Ikea mall

Hyper City.....Bandra Kurla Mall

Reliance mall....Santacruz and Juhu mall

Whilst unfailingly waiting in turn

To cherish special moments passing by

Prince of Wales Museum, Taraporewala Aquarium

Nehru Planetarium Dr. Annie Besant Road

Near Lotus Colony, Worli

Wankhede cricket stadium, Churchgate

Also in line Lohar chawl’s wholesale

 Market for electrical goods

 Fashion Street for unisex clothes

The rarest kind....

 An array like boutique stores

Displayed on street hangers

Of course Chor Bazaar

You’d surely wish to wrangle and quibble with sellers

To buy a leather buckle or a belt

Maybe a Vintage camera or

Queen Victoria lamp to negotiate

A dime or a dollar for hoarder’s fortune tale

A Perfume and pocketful of scents!

 

One couldn’t but help sightseeing whilst journeying

Famous hospitals Holy Family, Lilavati

Nanavati, Bhabha Hospital

As well nursing home clinics like Agarwal

At the end of 14^th TPS road

Suiting ones budget and tastes

Even eying a few sibling buildings so small

In comparison to their neighbouring

Giant Brother Sky-scrapers around Nepean Sea Road

Centre of Mumbaikars Urban Metropolitan

Redevelopment the latest new trend, lingo and

Talk of the town!

A game named Monopoly as the dice rolls out

Betwixt famous builders and those residing owners

To come to a whopping settlement in crores to millions

A choice for a bigger house

Or green dollars in exchange an ‘OUTRIGHT SALE’

Instead of shelling outrageously high outgoings

Whilst those Match box houses

 Chawls, shanties and slums

Made of Tarpaulin tents and cement blocks

Near Santacruz Airport and

 Crowded Dharavi leather Markets

Along the destinations sprouted up like tender

Lentil Baby saplings

Stood apart like the underdog

 Dons of an underworld kingdom!

 

Statues of busts small or tall

Rare figurines that cost from ten paise to a fortune

‘Iconic shrine’ at Nariman Point

‘A child gives birth to a mother’

On the way Mahim Causeway, Machhimaar Nagar

Even the Rotary Club Drummers

‘COVID WARRIORS’......

On the way to Bandra Station

‘Silent Girl’.......

Sitting on top Pali Hill

‘Man reading book with dog on leash’......

Between the junction of Candies

And Mac Queen’s Banquet Hall

Mac Ronell’s bungalow gardens

Down the hill

Mother or Arts

‘Creativity gives birth to creation’

As well art streets in Mumbai

Thrives every nook and corners

From by lanes of Ranwar and Chapel Road

To the underpass of Reclamation

Even at Kala Goda

An outlet for enthusiasts of art with

Flamboyance, flair and talent

Even historical landmarks

The Lion of Bombay statue

Neta Pherozeshah Mehta

Who drafted the Muncipal Corporation Act

In front of the Civic Headquarters April 3^rd 1923

Down Dhobi Talao, Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus

Fort, Mumbai

Completes 100 years

And Statue of Equality

Also known as the Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar Memorial

A monument dedicated to the 20^th century

Indian intellectual and Father of the Indian Constitution

To be located at Indu Mills Compound

In Mumbai with a staggering height of 125 feet

 

Underground subways at V.T and elevated railways

Metro tunnels Versova-Andheri-Ghatkopar

Even called the Blue Line and newly constructed bridges

Like Worli Sea Link

That one glimpsed Sea Link View Point..... Portmanteau

You carried on foot a hike or by bus

Loitering by and taking in its

 Revealing breath taking beauty

For some selfies on your handy mobiles

Through travel by roads

The Versova-Bandra Sea Link in progress

Near Carter Road

Which would have connectors

At Juhu Koliwada and at Joggers Park

Unfortunately as I foresee

Beat all Traffic Jams in Future History

The Bridge of the new Millennium Century

‘Like a bridge over troubled waters’

Sprawling over the Arabian Sea

Sand, rock and Pebbles

Its many sugar coated coastal building names

Like Sea Pebbles, Wavelash, Sea World

Sea Glimpse, Sea View Apartments

Sea shells, kisses by Sun and Sand

One of the many where elite made

Their comfortable and cosy Birds’ nests

To once a while glimpse with binoculars

The mermaids and Sea Dragons

Of Bandra Breathing Fire

A global fusion of inlets

Mixture of sea and surf

Or surf and turf cuisine

Five Spices served in many Chinese Restaurants

Expensive or in one’s budget

As it pleased the customers to engage

In mouth watering buffets and tongue tingling palates

Sizzlers and Soul Fry of China Gates!

 

Even some Temples, Mosques and Mausoleums!

 Prathnalayas, chapels and Churches

Like Mahim Church and Mount Mary’s Basilica

Turning sacred veils upon heads

Those healed by blind faith

Adoring sacred images

Crosses and idols

That propped here and there on pavements

Ganpati Visarjan statues also

That made way alongst the Traffic jamboree

For immersing into oceans and rivers

Its sacred devotees got a glimpse whilst commuting

 By buses, taxis or auto rickshaws

Hearts full of Prayer praises and lament!

Unity of many beliefs and traditions!

Amidst Diversities of varied Cultures

Like those basket weavers weaving

And binding straw and hay

Binding all faiths together

And balloon sellers selling balloons

Of different colours just

Looked like coloured faces

Of human race!

 

Highways and its Glamour makeover flyovers

To make your travel easy as pie

A bridge betwixt two mountains

Or one that came close by if you believeth in miracles

You could bring it to you in a span of a finger’s distance

The breadth and whole Eight Mile by Rap Lord Eminem

A spell binding holiday to Lonavala, Matheran

Mahableshwar, Ooty, Kerala, Sindhudurg Fort

Tourister picnic spot to the top

 Of Malabar Hill’s Hanging Gardens

Beckoning the dead

Nearby Towers of Silence built by Zoroastrians

The famous Rajabai Clock Towers

In the confines of Fort Campus

Of the University of Mumbai

Golden Temple in Amritsar

Brindavan Gardens of Mysore, Karnataka

 Jaipur’s Pink City, Bangalore’s Garden City

 Taj Mahal in Agra, Poona or Goa!

 

 Through the crowded mayhem

The cluster of strange foreboding animals

And bewitching humans

Forecasting through radio channels

Radio Jockey hosts like RJ Erica, RJ Malishka

RJ Anurag Pandey and RJ Neil

Announcing jinx of pulsating stops

Solo or full of bandwagons

Traffic jams at the dire signals Dire straits or

Maybe even a stampede heavy metal Iron Maiden

Horns, bugles, trumpets, bells and whistles

Sometimes at busy traffic road junctions

Playing along a juxtapose of rock or soul, samba

 R and B, Funk and retro, Medley Mix

Even classical rock and roll by Elvis Presley

Melodies and lyrics

From their radio stations

 

Heavy fines at turn around tolls and pay booths

For heavy vehicles or as light as a sandwich

Between two trucks and Lorries

Your poor motor bike scharrowed past

Zeroing in one of two finely tuned arrow lines

Maybe for checking rider’s passport....the driving licences

A few important papers.....registration

And smoke free ride called PUC Pauti

For pollution GIGA and BETADUSTMITES through its

Smoking exhaust pipes like tobacco filtered

Yearly insurance rigmarole hike

A regular check or a Hafta to be paid

To the police constable or Havaldar

Of the Solapur Taloka

 

Maybe breaking the rules was indeed a crime

A risky game for some Dare Devil Dan’s

Than those who play it safe

Buttoning their raincoats or collars of

Long sleeved sweaters and gloved mittens

As the rule goes

‘Better safe than sorry!’

‘To be within one’s limits’

‘Rather out of boundaries’

L sign for Learners tackling steer wheels

Instead of mowing down pedestrians

You’d be sorry IF........

Your helmet you forgot to don

As your prized suit of armour

 Unfortunately a No Parking zone resulted in towing

Rash driving, dodging, overtaking and cutting

Breaking signals at the traffic zones

 

DUI says it all for party goers

 A heavy dose Cocktail of drinks and drugs

Fast driving as well accident prone heavy trucks

Loaded with boulders, stones, rocks or pipes

Jutting outside as if on delicate splice ropes

In the doldrums now bound to unravel knots

Hazardous chemicals, petrol, oil, diesel containers

Heavy duty Concrete Mixers

Even trucks full of gas cylinders stacked

So high it just landed you with goose bumps

In case they rolled like those bottles of refreshments

 Cold Drinks piled like Nine Pin skittles in tall trays

Downhill Bowling ball super twisty Ghats

Mountains, Alleyways and sharp turns

Inside dark tunnels ahead!

 

Better ‘HORN PLEASE’

 ‘KEEP SAFE DISTANCE’

The Bumper reads ‘GOD MY STRENGTH’

 Along with spilling water tankers

Precious droplets that made

 Oceans and mermaids cry!

Such Havaldar’s in Topi’s

Partners in crime

You’d pay the ticket or fine

Naka Bandhi on some rare spots

Some special Bonafide days

With triangular pin pointers or round as globe floaters

Called Traffic Barriers

You’d pass by unless you were the thief to keep in check

You’d be scrutinized under their bulging glares

Sometimes they commissioned as Rattraps

Handcuffs for the burglars, smugglers

Escaped convicts and bandit thieves

 

It seemed such a funny coincidence

To masquers of such a masquerade

Maybe rich, poor or middle class

All in a jamboree traffic jam

Of a traffic cuff parade

Even horses and bullock carts

Made their way through

With or without their safety owners

And in jest safety seat belts and harnesses

As well cats, dogs and rats

Would be proud as punch to say “Wow”

As if they knew traffic rules

At the traffic signals, so experienced as Blind Bats!

Passed by as easily as a knife cuts

A Birthday Cake

Or rest you know sad business!

A smash!

By a group of Birthday Bummers!

Driving like Mr Toad at top speed

Like in Wind In the Willows a classic tale

By Kenneth Grahame

 

Not for the faint or chicken hearted

Chicken or egg which came first?

Why did the poor Chicken Cross the Road?

You’d be musing yourself all ten thumbs

Whilst twiddling your funny toes!

One you’d sadly guess

Who threw Peanuts in the water?

As if you were water chess board

Your friends who bullied Peanuts and

Threw you into a hollow well in deep water

In jest whilst

Gambolling playfully with school verses

One rainy day

Returning home from a school bus

By the bridge over the horror creek

Like in the novel Goosebumps! For sure!

So many dived or drowned there

Dangling like poor baubles of a Christmas tree

That fell one by one into the blessed creek

Like Poor little Peanuts! Dear Me!

 

While passing through

And if caught to be pickled

In such a soup or jar

The hours passing

Maybe one or two

If prolonged duration

Another four to five

At such junction ‘Moongfalli’

And ‘chana’ paper cups

Were brought by willing spectators

Of the jam vehicle called Time Pass Kapalandi’s

Even ambulances and fire brigades

Made their way through the mayhem

Each zipping with buzzers above

Their heads

Whilst tail lamps were flashed

To precaution the motorists behind

Even cruising past

Bodyguards of a bolted vaulted bullet proof car

Jolting with red light blinkers in a long line

By a procession of cars behind them

Famous Bollywood Actors of Jabberwickey

And Ministers of Jabberwocky

A white blinding limelight as if a spotlight

 A den of Vipers or thieves!

A different brood of chicks

Hiding beneath many layers glitz, glamour

Fake facade, Politics and subterfuge so coy

Like a tan on Animal Hides!

 

Whilst on long road trips one witnessed

 Dangerous encounters

Road rage, grizzly crashes

A death with fate! Spate of Car Accidents

A rocky ride through

Rickety rackety bumps and pot holes

That cushioned the streets

Like moon holes and craters

Comfortably at its pipes and joints

So often dug out from beneath Hells Chambers

To shed gravel, rock and cement

Thus hindering human development

At the cost of Developing Country

So often used as a lame excuse

By corrupt ministers to fleece

Mary’s Snow White Sheep’s pockets

 

Journeying by the rich upper class

 Top class gentry seated

Inside super air conditioned parlours

Their limousines with chauffeurs and butlers

Attending them with rich collared stiff uniforms

Or air conditioned buses transporting white collars

Turning a blind eye

Through sometimes rolled down window panes

 Sun glass shutter shades

At the poor beggars and vagabonds

Those who earned silver dimes

Selling note worthy and unique Knick knacks

To them were of no use

But certainly the middle class

Would get a hand at those

Maybe a skillet, ladle

 Dekchi to sizzle and fry

 A Tagine clay pots for cooking

 Or a box of turnips, beets or

Carrots freshly farm plucked

Even a basket of fresh red roses or bouquet

 A garland of mogras and champa jasmines

For their new cars to hang

As a precious religious decor

Black fur tails for Rakshaash Bandicoots

From biting car wires and cables

 Lime and chillies necklaces

To safe guard ‘Boori Nazaar’

Sold by blind vendors to cast away

 Maybe an evil eye!

 

Even Blue Collars handling menial tasks

Instead of Mental in a Work Class Lingo

Travelling to and fro in BST buses

Tightly jam packed like a tin of sardines

Going to faraway work places and home back

Transported them in a jiffy

If you are used to the tortoise and hare

Instead of rat races

A bumpy ride though decent fare

Their daily grind and routine businesses

The busyness of a joyride

From here to there and there to who knows where

Turned to a living nightmare

It would be a challenge for Greenhorns

To board right buses displaying their number plates

Written boldly in Hindi or Marathi

Woe Begone! You misjudged numbers upside down

Seven for nine and one for eleven

And landed yourself in a trouble coop

Like a Headless Chicken blindly running for help

Helter Skelter for shelter!

 In a strange Dump ground or Shipyard store room

Where Bombay Ducks hung like garlanded wreaths

 Dockyard Harbour line

Right to Sewri Creek, Thane or Panvel

In Sweet Dreams an eternity

A blooming error of Judgement

Or a Mistake!

 

As the busy driver of taxi cabs

Or black and yellow auto rickshaws

Played roulette with the ever changing rates

Soaring at every turning by the traffic lights

Your heart would beat as from rupee hundred

Your jolly ride

Would reach a fare of five hundred

So maybe next time you’d wait the long queues

By bus or maybe train journey

You certainly would not afford the plane

In jest I say

To travel from Bandra to Borivalli

Or maybe from Shivaji Park to Malad

Or Bhayandar to Virar

Maybe Palghar to Boisar

Right up to District Thane

 

These traffic jams were too mad

And demanding of your precious hour

To scavenge like a hungry dog

Its reflection through a pond of reflexion

Maybe garbage truck full of beggars

Rummaging through its remaining tasty bones

Called HUMOUR and FEMUR

That he would relish

As a jaunty free ride

Maybe behind that lucky scooter

Your son would give you a hitchhike

To your favourite market in town

Crawford Market

 

Where scavenger crows

Would muse through such left over

Dustbins to scour with glee the remnants

What you called Flea Market

Or one dollar or 99 rupees for everything

That it showcased on busy streets

Through narrow cul-de-sacs

That never had a proper route out

The busy highway

Just a dead end!

 

That would be the correct address

Of a place out of a dictionary

A no man’s end or Timbuktu

Navigating without a Google Map

Your must-have roadway language glossary 

But of course you’d pitch in

A couple of bucks for the bee line

To fill in your son’s fuel tanks!

A couple of coins only five

To fill in the tire air

Such a Pickle of a soup in a jar

Called Traffic Jam~