WILLY WONKA'S MELTING MANSION

WILLY WONKA’S MELTING MANSION

OF CHOCOLATE NIGHTMARES

 

The newly married couple

Monsignor Eugene and Madame Bernice

Latched on to their straws and last minute hopes

To win the haunting ticket jackpot

A honeymoon to Willy Wonka’s dream

Chocolate Mansion

Made of pure beams of chocolate chunks

And tiles of Cadbury coffee hunks

That wafted around their hamlet

Named Manhattan in New York City

No one ever saw the strange location

Of its buttering castle mansion made of pure Chocolate

Only the crackpot inventor

Of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

Mister Willy Wonka dreaded the fact

That he remained a bachelor without a sweetheart!

Along with his goblins Chumcronkercrizzlestomplers

Who worked so hard day and night

All polishing the strange castle mansion’s rooms

Honey moon suites and parlours

A recipe he landed from the Indian slaves

Who worked making it into a Taj Mahal

A chocolate recipe so meticulously crafted

It would never melt under the scorching sun beams

As moonshine drifted its silver milky bauble

And replaced it with sunrise so golden

Like a chewy yellow taffy inside

Into its cups of hot chocolate that stirred

Bubbling with excitement for

Constructing, stewing and cooling down

 Giving those finishing touches

To be mixed with truffles and chunks of

Refined German chocolate beans

Powdered to fine grains like its garnish

Garish haunting carpets

 

As soon the newly wedded flossed their tickets

To the owner in the little Chocklit shop

At the corner of the bend of the city

It was the ticket they found inside

And held so close to their beating hearts

Their Willy Wonka chocolate bar named

‘SCRUMBLEPRUMPRUNES’

With the number in bold

Written 199

They shivered from head to foot in anticipation

Would they be lucky to win?

The holy Jackpot

Or turn unlucky honeymooners

Having no inkling

The strange events to unravel

By the chocolate mansion that

Never melted under the glowering sun beams

Were carted off the wedding couple

Soon to an unknown Manhattan boundary

By the bend of the shoreline!

The Lucky Owners of a Holiday Chocolate Mansion

 

Madame Bernice packed her huge

Panama hat, along with suede gloves

Her beautiful red rose bouquet

And a white dress she would wear

Specially designed by Monsignor Eugene

Who was a tailor to the Tee

And loved sketching and stitching

 All his dear wifeys

Garments spruce and natty

Whilst he packed his two tails tuxedo

So black and shiny

His Stetson Cowboy Hat of course

With a spray of Baby’s Breath

The most innocent favours

For his boutonniere

Maybe he’d get lucky getting a Charlie baby

The one lucky boy who got

To see just like them Willy Wonka’s strange

Chocolate Factory

This time a ticket rewarded them

 On a Honey Moon Planet!

For real they’d see and live

In the jackpot of sweet dreams

Or would turn a Nightmare Mansion

You better decide before

You sign those papers

Before Honey Mooning

At your own risk......

 Beloved Married Couples only

 

Well to begin with the sun

Had turned very hot

And the clouds too heavy

Like black soot

Of a withered old runny jalopy

With a trail behind of bottles that banged

Together like tin can drums

That beat across like thunder storms

When it turned night

And the bright sun disappeared

It revealed the stars that hung from the sky

Like an invaluable necklace

The groom Eugene slithered out of his waistcoat pockets

To deck on a bride Bernice’s lithe and dainty neck

Out shone the milky jug of

Creamy silvery Moon

The scenery looked as if its way was paved with

A crown of chocolate thorns for their heads

That I deem looked rather like

Pins and needles for a matrimony bed and garland

On its pin cushion to hide

Bride and Bridegroom within a velvety chocolate eiderdown!

A Shame! I reckon

The poor gullible things!

 

Some secret hideaway

A lonely strand along Cape Cod

 Peninsula Massachusetts

Beyond the tall chocolate gates

Was a rather huge chocolate lock

Of a haunting chocolate Mansion

Which Monsignor Eugene opened

With a Block of Chocolate Key

The gargantuan chocolate doors

Of the strange chocolate Mansion of course

It was simply beautiful

Carved chocolate paintings on the wall

Hung depicting ghosts of Mr Chocolate

Willy Wonka’s Ancestors

Statue busts of all his relatives

Covered from head to the middle

In chocolate grease

Stood strangely around the crannies and nooks

Along the crooked chocolate mansion

 

Up its spiral chocolate stairways

To its left and right chocolate wings perched

Even figurines of chocolate art

The Mona Lisa, Bone Collectors of a Graveyard

The Vineyard filled with chocolate grapes

A basket of apples, oranges, bananas

And cherries made only of chocolate

A few farmers and fishermen made also of CHOCOLAT

Holding on dearly to chocolate nets, chocolate trowels

And chocolate spades

As if melting with chocolate lumps

Of perspiration under the blazing sun

Bowed to Chocolate Queen Cleopatra of Hearts and

Chocolate King Marc Anthony of Spades Statuettes

Maybe Parodies of Chocolate Kingdom once

Of Chocolate Alice in Wonderland

Or the Chocolate Emerald City of

 Glinda the Fairy Chocolate Witch

The Chocolate Wizard of Oz

 Dear Dorothy a chocolate replica carted around

A chocolate Tin Man Knight with no heart

Chocolate Scarecrow who lacked brains

A Chocolate Lion without courage

And a plump chocolate pup Toto

All chocolate Easter eggs in one chocolate basket

Like in Wizard of Oz!

Decorated the chocolate lounge and its relaxing ambience

Chocolate Clowns like a Pack of Chocolate Cards

Stood shuffled in the harrowing Castle

Ghosts of Chocolate Cake!

That chocolate Aladdin and Princess Jasmine

Eyeballed from their chocolate carpet so high

Held by the chocolate Magic Genie

The Chocolate Mister Blue Beard and Chocolate Statue Brides

All frightening and lovable characters

Out of a chocolate fairy story

Into the chocolate mansion of chocolate nightmares

Tucked within Willy Wonka’s ingenious creations!

 

There was also a chocolate house

With the chocolate witch, Hansel and Gretel

Made of chocolate chips

Even few chocolate horses, cows, rabbits

Ducks, cats and dogs

Of old Mac Donald’s Chocolate farm

Strayed the missing blanks

Of the chocolate terraces and chocolate gardens

A chocolate Incy Wincy spider who climbed up the wall

And a chocolate Miss Muffet who sat eating

Chocolate curd and whey

Chocolate chandeliers hung so low and ‘loft

It's chocolate ceilings

A chocolate fountain in the chocolate lawns

Spouting with hot and cold chocolate milk shakes

Few chocolate insects and a chocolate aeroplane

They couldn’t but help to taste them all

Truly deliciously divine

Even chocolate trees grew money

Full of chocolate dollars and dimes

As one of the showpiece eye catchers

The chocolate Kitchens too couldn’t be missed

With strange chocolate kettles and saucepans

Chocolate porcelains, knives, spoons and forks

Decorated a Chocolat Mr Whatzhisname

And Mr Saucepan Man

Of a Faraway Chocolate Tree house Mansion

Of course!

 

Soon the newly wedded couple

Would enter into their Honey Moon Suite 199

The same winning Jackpot

And spend the rest of their hours

Wishing they’d never ever have a honey moon

Again like a return trip from a planet filled

With chocolate Martians

For all the strange butlers, buttons

Livery, guards and cooks looked like

Chocolate Martians E.T’s from space

Even everything cooked and served

Was only chocolate

Good grace

They never heard of Divorce or deceit

Till they regretted holidaying

The strange foreboding Castle

Of chocolate Nightmares

 

Why it turned to a nightmare

Was because her dress

So virgin white had turned

To white chocolate

Even her red rose bouquet

To Ruby Belgian chocolate

In a trice!

She wondered how

Was it because everything here was chocolate

Including they would soon turn

Also chocolate people

With funny chocolate faces

Monsignor Eugene as his suit slowly

Bit the chocolate dust

Even his innocent Baby Breath favours

Turned to chocolate confectionary white

And out he emerged a strange chocolate Groom

Said he now to his chocolate bride Madame Bernice

Also turning to a chocolate

From head to toe

In her chocolate wedding gown

Whilst he in bitter black tuxedo two tails

Sighed and grimaced

“We thought ‘would be

Till Death Do us Part

Rather till us Melt do we depart!”

 

Soon the pitch black sky

Thundered from above

And rain pattered like

A cup of hot boiling chocolate

Over the haunted Mansion

Of Willy Wonka’s chocolate Jackpot

“How could we turn to chocolate people”

Hollered the two to themselves

Regretting their Honeymooning decision

To the strange Chocolate Nightmare Mansion

“We hadn’t even had proper sleep

Because we are fully chocolate

We can’t kiss neither hug

Such a strange parody be us!

Surely we’d bite and get things messy

This was what we didn’t read

I guess because the print was too tiny”

And they looked right at the bottom

Of the chocolate certificate

It read in teeny tiny letters

For only those who have a Heart of Chocolate

So indeed my pretty folks

That haunted Chocolate Destiny oath

 Steered their lovely honey moon boat

And the helm manoeuvred by Willy Wonka

Of course!

Be sure when you get married

To read the tiny print

Lest you have no heart at all

And turn into his chocolate play things

 

“This was our experience at the ghastly

Chocolate mansion

I am sure if you reach here one day

Be sure never to order Chocolate

Mannequins for your chocolate wedding cakes!

Not particularly partial or prejudiced opinion

Just rather traditional Monsignor Eugene

And Madame Bernice commented

To their ogling spectators

Who grinned coyly a chocolate smile ear to ear

As if a chocolate Beauty Madame Bernice

At her chocolate beast of a spouse Monsignor Eugene

“We wouldn’t call Mr Willy Wonka crazy

If we were you

That would be the pot calling the kettle black”

 

For they were just at fault

As the crackpot inventor

Stirring his ladle in a hot chocolate Crockpot

The Jackpot winners of the Mansion

Of chocolate nightmares

As they stood the three tiers

Of the wedding humbug chocolate cake!

You see Willy Wonka the inventor

Was made of chocolate too!

Now would the maids in waiting

Flower girls and the long forgotten Best Man

Who once spruced up their wedding

Be the next to win the Jackpot

Of the crackpot genius Mister Willy Wonka

“Not until they turned up

With their beloved spouses

Those are the rules of my chocolate games

Rest written underneath in fine print

When you scribble your signatures

At the marriage nuptial Jackpot’s

Opening ceremony

To have and taste a bit of my chocolate mansion

Of chocolate nightmares!”

He remarked and grinned a chocolate smile

Ear to ear as if he won

A Brand New Wrapper of a Chocolate Race!

‘SCRUMBLEPRUMPRUNES’